Five honorary street names that made us say, “What the hell?”
Diana Princess of Wales Place, 700–800 North Fairbanks Court
100th/442nd/MIS Way, 4400–4500 North Clark Street
Jewel Lafontant-Mankarious Street, 4900–5000 South Greenwood Avenue
For Your Consciousness Ministries Felix Way, 1923 West 51st Street
Soul Winners Outreach Drive, 732–800 West 90th Street—CW and LP

Great museums that don’t get enough love
Polish Museum of America (984 N Milwaukee Ave)
Maybe it’s the monolithic four-story structure that intimidates people. But those who dare cross the threshold will be met with room after room of all things Polish, including our favorite exhibit—a glass-walled Pope John Paul II display that includes His Holiness’s skis.

Robie House (5757 S Woodlawn Ave)
Most architecture buffs stick to the Frank Lloyd Wright epicenter of Oak Park. Head south to Hyde Park, though, and you’ll be rewarded with a look at this 1910 masterpiece—the architect’s personal favorite—with its custom furniture and 174 art-glass windows.

The Arts Club (201 E Ontario St)
With no advertising, no website and a guard at the door, you might wonder if this modern-art museum is making a point of keeping the public at bay. Those in the know get to see works by Alexander Calder, Salvador Dalí and Pablo Picasso—a testament to the nine-decade-old club’s ability to spot rising stars.

Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art (2320 W Chicago Ave)
It would be easy to assume this place makes the same mistakes many other heritage museums do—namely, delivering amateur presentations of behind-the-curve art chosen more for its country of origin than its merit. That’s not the case here, where the work by Ukrainian, Ukrainian-American and European artists is surprisingly avant-garde.

Chicago-area libraries
(Harold Washington Library, 400 SState St; Woodson Regional Library,9525 S Halsted St; Newberry Library,60 W Walton St)
Psst! Want to check out exhibitions of rare, historic artifacts for free? Libraries are the city’s best-kept secret. The Woodson Library, which specializes in Chicago’s African-American history, recently opened a show that includes original Langston Hughes and Gwendolyn Brooks manuscripts. Another reliable choice is the Newberry Library, which will open an ode to maps this fall.—Martina Sheehan

The pond at the Lincoln Park Zoo

Photo: Nicole Radja

Ten great views of the skyline
1. From the northeast corner of Grant Park. Best-case scenario: While lying in the grass during the Outdoor Film Festival
2. Reflected in Cloud Gate (the Bean). It’s clichéd, sure, but tell us we’re wrong.
3. From the pier at Osterman Beach, a.k.a. Hollywood Beach
4. From the window of a plane landing at Midway at sunset
5. At the pond at the Lincoln Park Zoo
6. Driving north on Lake Shore Drive past Soldier Field
7. From the Kennedy Expressway, just as you enter from Kedzie Avenue
8. From a sailboat or charter boat on Lake Michigan
9. From the bridge over the Chicago River on Lake Shore Drive
10. From Promontory Point in Hyde Park—Jason A. Heidemann

Our favorite Wiener’s Circle obscenities
The Wiener’s Circle (2622 N Clark St, 773-477-7444) is the place to go for a top-notch hot dog, exquisitely greasy cheese fries and, if you’re there during the wee hours, a huge helping of verbal abuse.

1. A preppy guy walks up to the counter where a huge WC employee in a purpleshirt is standing and says, “Yo Grimace, give me some french fries.” Sheresponds, “Shut the fuck up, Jack Tripper.”

2. A Lincoln Park Trixie asks, “Is my hot dog ready yet?” and is asked, “Whatdo you think, I pump this shit out of my pussy, bitch?”

3. A man orders a hot dog with ketchup, spurring the following rejoinder:“Next time you get a hot dog and you ask for it with ketchup, you’ll get itwith ketchup and my pussy juice all over it.”

4. A white man asks for a Sprite with no ice. A WC employee responds, “Awwwshit, look at this cracker here—he think he down, he think he’s black,trying to ask for his muthafuckin’ Sprite with no ice. Next thing you know,nigga will be askin’ for some strawberry-kiwi Mystic shit.”

5. After calling a one-legged man in a wheelchair a “crippled-assmotherfucker,” the ladies behind the counter turn their attention to acustomer who had been telling a joke, shouting, “And you…get outta here…likeyou some funny motherfucker…like you Dave Coulier.”

—Heather Shouse;

Our five favorite building toppers
311 South Wacker Drive’s drum: This 1990 building peaks in a turretlike, 70-foot-tall drum (sometimes called the “wedding cake”) that’s illuminated by 2,000 fluorescent tubes.

One River Place’s Spirit of Progress: In 1930, this Art Deco structure on 619 West Chicago Avenue was designed as Montgomery Ward’s office building and topped with a 17-foot version of the company’s early symbol: a mythical, robed woman holding a torch and staff.

Photo: Caroline Voagen Nelson

Chicago Board of Trade’s Ceres: This 1929–30 Holabird & Root Art Deco landmark is topped by John Storrs’s 31-foot-tall sculpture of the goddess of agriculture, a reference to the CBOT’s origins as a commodities market.

Photo: Caroline Voagen Nelson

Sears Tower’s illuminated antennas: Bruce Graham of Skidmore, Owings and Merrill designed this building, completed in 1973. The seasonal illumination of the antennas—blue and orange for the Bears or red and green for Christmas—was introduced in 1995.

Photo: Caroline Voagen Nelson

Harold Washington Library’s cornice: Owls, foliage and seed pods, made from 100 tons of aluminum, crown the top of this 1991 neoclassical building.—Madeline Nusser

Five confusing intersections

Photo: Erica Gannett

Most appropriate nicknames for Chicago locales
Punkin’ Donuts
The Dunkin’ Donuts at Belmont Avenue and Clark Street, a major mecca for suburban goths

Stranglewood
The high-crime Englewood neighborhood

The Crotch
The intersection of North, Damen and Milwaukee Avenues

Ho Depot
The Home Depot on North Avenue that used to see a lot of prostitute foot traffic

The Scare-agon/the Aragon Brawlroom
Uptown’s Aragon Ballroom, known for its mosh-pit mayhem.—Ruth Welte

Five nastiest El stations
Jarvis Red Line
The intoxicating aroma of fresh urine perfumes the air at nearly all El stops, but here it’s combined with the musty scent of the standing water that’s always pooled at the bottom of this North Side stop’s steps.

Wilson Red Line
You want a little crazy with your wait for the train? You’ll get it in spades from the colorful characters who chillax in and around this stop.

Division Blue Line
Optimists may think of rust/mold rot holes spreading from the tunnel to the ceiling as an impromptu Rorschach test. We think they’re just plain nasty.

Monroe Red and Blue Lines
Dark, depressing, rank and dirty: It’s like visiting an Eastern European refugee camp without having to leave home!

North/Clybourn Red Line
Say, is that a dead rat under the tracks? Wait, no, it’s just flattened detritus. Well, could be a smushed rat. Such are the musings that occur to you while making the half-mile trek from your train car to the sole, inconveniently located exit at this station, which is as damp, dirty and freaky as that crazy dude’s well in The Silence of the Lambs.—LB