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Published at 11:17am
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You look like a genetic mashup of the Monopoly guy and the New Yorker mascot.
Both gents do know how to dress, don’t they? And that Monopoly fellow is, like myself, quite the cutthroat real-estate mogul.
Do you live in Chicago?
Part of the year. I keep a place on the Gold Coast.
So what brings you back to town?
I’m considering purchasing a condo in the Spire. But I came to peruse the Trump first.
I take it you don’t have recession anxiety.
Oh, heavens no. [Laughs] I’m hoping it escalates. The middle-class was getting far too cocksure for my taste, with their single-family homes and all that smiling. Recessions are like natural selection. And the fittest survive unscathed.
Been to the movies lately?
I saw There Will Be Blood. That Daniel Plainview—what a magnate! Business schools should screen that for their students: If you want riches, you have to be vicious, as I am wont to quip. But I don’t really follow modern cinema—too lowbrow. However, I am currently financing a biopic.
Who’s it about?
Me—my journey...
Read more in next week's issue of TOC: Trump On Chicago!
Is this some kind of joke? Yes, actually. The above was part of TOC's 2008 April Fool's issue. Read more about it here.
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