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Published on 7/25/08
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DOGS, ETC.
Wrigley Field puts Kosher’s Best dogs in their buns (yes, even in their Chicago-style dogs). And you know what? They have about ten times as much flavor as the pale Vienna Beef dogs everybody else insists on using. And yet this inning goes to the Cell, because their brats with sauerkraut and their polish sausages—or, rather, the sweet, soft grilled onions that top them—are unparalleled.
Sox: 2, Cubs: 1
BURGERS
The burgers at both stadiums were abysmal: thin, nubby patties of gristly meat on soft, sugary, preservative-laden buns. At the Cell these burgers were premade and handed over in a box (never a good sign). At Wrigley we managed to find a vendor that made the burgers to order, but they were still terrible. Stick with the dogs.
Sox: 0, Cubs: 0
FRIES
There was one upside to the burgers at the Cell: They come with orange, spicy curly fries. Some of these fries were a little limp, and others were downright cold, but we kept plunging our hand into the pile anyway. At Wrigley? No curly fries in sight. But they do make “buffalo fries” by dousing regular fries in hot sauce and blue cheese, which is just as good.
Sox: 2, Cubs: 2
PIZZA
The ubiquitous Connie’s pizza held court at both the Cell and Wrigley, and after trying it at the Cell we decided that whoever Connie is, the woman can’t make a pizza to save her life. But apparently our blame was laid in the wrong place: Giving it another go at Wrigley, we found that Connie’s doesn’t always taste like plywood; sometimes, it’s a chewy, cheesy affair.
Sox: 0, Cubs: 1
HEALTHY STUFF
This is going to sound ridiculous, but the Greek salad at Wrigley Field is actually pretty good—fresh feta, crisp greens, sharp dressing. And for health nuts who fear that a salad may get them beat up in the stands, Wrigley also offers organic trail mix from Whole Foods. But the Cell gets a point for serving hot elote (corn).
Sox: 1, Cubs: 1
ITALIAN BEEF
The traditional Italian Beef—like that served at the Cell—may be a robust sandwich, but it looks skimpy compared to Wrigley’s special 2008 offering: a mammoth (and, admittedly, slightly alarming) two-foot-long Italian Beef sandwich to be shared among two (or ten) people. Sorry, Sox!
Sox: 0, Cubs: 1
BEER
At both stadiums the default beers are Bud, Miller, Old Style and the like; quaffing anything better requires searching out specialty beer kiosks. At the Cell you can find beers like Guinness and Stella. You can find those at Wrigley too, as well as Corona, Amstel, and Glen Ellen wine, but they’re harder to find. Besides, who drinks wine at a baseball game?
Sox: 2, Cubs: 1
NACHOS
Nachos, it turns out, are the olive branches of the baseball world. Because at both the Cell and Wrigley they were exactly the same: fresh, crunchy corn chips topped with fiery jalapeños and that completely chemical (yet somehow still addictive) nacho cheese. So they might be the one thing a Sox and Cubs fan can agree on.
Sox: 1, Cubs: 1
DESSERT
Here’s an existential question: Is a funnel cake that’s somewhat cool and not that crisp better than no funnel cake at all? Because if it’s not, this inning has to go to Wrigley, which offers no funnel cakes but does have soft-serve ice cream in little upturned Cubs caps. But who are we kidding? It’s a funnel cake. You could dig one out of the trash and it’d still be delicious.
Sox: 1, Cubs 0
TOTAL
Sox: 9
Cubs: 8
