Like mayors trying to get reelected or contestants on The Bachelor, Chicagoans don't always say what they really mean. As a public service, we've come up with 22 phrases you will likely hear while living in Chicago, along with helpful translations of what your fellow city-dwellers are actually trying to express. The next time one of these statements come up in conversation, no worries, you'll finally understand.
1. "Last winter wasn't so bad." = "Last winter we only experienced five days of negative temperatures below zero instead of ten."
2. "I live in Logan Square." = "I live in southern Avondale, northern Humboldt Park or on the edge of Bucktown."
3. "My friend's improv show was pretty funny." = "My acquaintance's/co-worker's improv show made me chuckle once or twice, but mostly I felt embarrassed for them."
4. "I love going to the beach when it's nice outside." = "I only go to the beach when it's hot enough for the sun to bake the E. coli in the lake."
5. "Chicago's skyline is the best!" = "Chicago's skyline would be the best if Trump hadn't built that ugly skyscraper in the middle of it!"
6. "Malort doesn't taste that bad.” = “Chicagoans need to look tough.”
7. “Deep dish pizza is for tourists!” = “I’m not exactly going to complain when visiting friends want to eat deep dish pizza.”
8. "I'm studying at Second City." = "I've worked in marketing for five years and still harbor unrealistic dreams of being a cast member on Saturday Night Live."
9. "I'm just getting into the Cubs/Blackhawks/Bears." = "I just moved here."
10. "I'm a bit of a pizza/hot dog snob" = "I have a bit of a superiority complex."
11. "Let's go to brunch." = "Let's stand outside for about 40 minutes then eat too much."
12. "It's really hard to meet people here." = "I have exhausted all of my potential Tinder matches."
13. "If we can't find an Uber, we'll just grab a cab." = "If we can't find an Uber, I guess I'll just splurge on an UberBLACK."
14. "My rent has actually gotten cheaper." = "I recently moved to the suburbs."
15. "The neighborhood has really changed since I moved here." = "My neighborhood has more cocktail bars and fried chicken restaurants than it used to."
16. "I'm on the L now, I'll be there soon!" = "I'm walking out of my apartment now, so I'll probably miss the next train and be a 15 minutes late."
17. "The Bean is boring." = "I've already taken 20 photos of myself staring into the reflective surface of the sculpture."
18. "The suburbs aren't so bad." = "I miss eating at chain restaurants and having a backyard."
19. "Never put ketchup on a hot dog!" = "I secretly like ketchup on my hot dog but I have a reputation to maintain."
20. "The whole South Side is scary." = "I've never traveled past Sox-35th on the Red Line."
21. "I never take the bus, the train is better." = "I haven't figured out how to navigate the CTA bus routes."
22. "Let's go to Wisconsin!" = "We're all out of New Glarus beer and cheese from our last trip to Wisconsin!