Beware: Frankenfood truck is in Chicago this week

You want to stay as far away from this food truck as possible.

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  • Guinness Chocolate-coated Pork Belly: Pork belly covered in Guinness and chocolate with a cayenne and paprika-dusted marshmallow on a graham cracker

  • Spam "Sushi:" Seaweed-wrapped sushi roll with Rice Krispie treat, seared spam, plaintain puree

  • Bacon-wrapped hot dog eclair: Chocolate eclair "bun," Cheez-It puree topping

Guinness Chocolate-coated Pork Belly: Pork belly covered in Guinness and chocolate with a cayenne and paprika-dusted marshmallow on a graham cracker


"This looks like something a preschooler would do," our co-worker said as he surveyed our plate of Frankenfood—tiny servings of Guinness Chocolate–Coated Pork Belly, a Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dog Eclair and Spam "Sushi"—which are available this week at a food truck to promote a hideous new show on Spike TV.

The show, which debuts June 22 at 10pm, will also feature guest judge Billy Dec (of course). Its website says "America is hungry for the next great food sensation"—we're not, I promise you—"Josh Capon eats his way across the country to find the best 'Frankenfood,' revolutionary creations that mix outrageous and unexpected ingredients in delicious and unique flavors."

You want to stay as far away from these "food sensations" as possible. There's the "sushi," which is a soggy mess of Rice Krispies Treats and seaweed wrapped around Spam, with plaintain puree glueing it to the plate. There's the pork belly, which is served atop a soggy (there's a theme here) graham cracker with a big campfire marshmallow and a disgusting Guinness-chocolate sauce. And there's the hot dog eclair, the best of the bunch (it omits the cream filling) but still grotesque, since it contains "Cheez-It puree," two words I never want to hear together again.

We didn't try the Fruity Pebbles Chicken Tenders or the Fried Slim Jim Mac and Cheese Balls, because they made us tweet or Instagram a photo of the truck in order to get a free sample. And we don't hate ourselves enough to do that more two more times.

If you've lost all respect for yourself, here's where you can find the truck this week:

Today: Randolph/Wabash CTA stop until 2pm
Thursday: 70 W Madison St, 2:30–6pm
Friday: Ogilvie Train Station, 6:30–10:30am

However, I think there might be a silver lining to all of this. Now that Spike has a show about disgusting food mash-ups, has the whole idea finally jumped the shark?


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