Next server fails, world explodes

Photograph: Martha Williams
Table setting at Next

Tickets for the next installment of Next (Tour of Thailand) were slated to go on sale today at 4pm, an event that—surprise!—garnered a lot of interest. All that interest turned out to work against the restaurant, however, as Next's site was quickly overwhelmed and slowed to a crawl. The guys at Next refused to release the tickets on a site that was so overwhelmed and thus slow, so they decided to push the sale to tomorrow.

This should have shocked nobody. And yet Next's Facebook page has exploded with bourgeois anger and first-world vitriol. Some of the more choice comments:

Thanks for letting us waste an hour before you called the thing off. That was awesome.—Ariel Litvin

Ms. Litvin is using a tool called "sarcasm" to express her dismay at having to wait until tomorrow to buy a roughly $100 dollar ticket to the most popular restaurant in the universe. Effective use of the medium, Ariel! Consider your message received.

This is slightly infuriating. We sit here and wait for almost an hour during the middle of the day, while most people are working. Then you tell us that we have to take more time out of the middle of the day to sit here tomorrow...—Dan Heise

I think everybody can feel Mr. Heise's pain here. Not only did he not get to buy tickets to Next today, but it also appears that somewhere along the line a wizard cast a spell that restricted his free will. Dude is a slave to any and all suggestions made by Achatz and Kokonas! They make him Cryovac his lunches! He...eh, moving on...

Your website is a joke. Not sure how you can call yourself a world class restaurant and not be able to handle real web traffic. I build corporate websites for a living.... did you have a 15 year [old] build this?...... I expect more from you, if in fact your company claims to be all that. Give me a break.—Andre Mika

Touche, Mr. Mika! Next, in fact, does claim to be "all that." But it is so obviously not all that! I bet it wasn't a 15-year-old who built the site but rather a 13-year-old! Burn! And I totally bet the food is cooked by, like, a ten-year-old who's totes not "all that," either. Joke, indeed!

OMG! I have confiscated all the kids' iPads, and our afternoon activity was to refresh for the last 55 mins., through all the kids whining and complaining. They are demanding that my husband and I take them to this "stupid place." Not sure how Next and the other patrons will receive a 7, 9, and 12 year old! Good thing I just checked FB, or we would have wasted another hour! Back to mill tomorrow! How will i bribe my kids to do this again? Hope springs eternal!—Myong Roh

I actually think this one is a parody, in which case: Bravo, Myong!

I waited in line for Transformers 3D and Chick Fil A, I can wait for NEXT!—Shruti Srivastava

Basically the only sense anybody on that page is making.

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