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Fab faux

From Dick Tracy to Punky Brewster, these fictional Chicagoans are hereby inducted into the city's nonexistent hall of fame.

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1. Ferris Bueller
Wayne Newton, warm Gummi Bears, breaking the fourth wall, Ben Stein—John Hughes brought them all back, for better or worse, with his 1986 cult classic. Most of all, he proved our city is the best playground in North America.

2. Dick Tracy
Northwestern grad Chester Gould’s comic strip dick started off in the Trib in 1931, eight years before Batman. Besides, Batman is the Yankees of superheroes—let’s see what he could do without that payroll.

3. Jake and Elwood Blues
This duo would probably rank higher on our list if not for an atrocious sequel and a “blues joint” that’s better known for “Voodoo Shrimp” and metal shows. That’s what happens when the legacy is left to a Canadian.

4. Walter Lee Younger
How incredible is A Raisin in the Sun’s role of one man who stands up for neighborhood integration in the face of racism? So incredible it earned P. Diddy accolades for his acting.

5. V.I. Warshawski
Sara Paretsky’s South Side sleuth broke the glass ceiling for hard-boiled PIs. For once, the female lead in a mystery wasn’t a femme fatale in dress, a frumpy crumpet-eating English dame or a puzzle-loving nun.

6. J.J. Evans
It takes a personality of steel and sunshine to roll out of bed each morning in a housing project and declare to the world, “Dyn-o-mite!”. Good Times’ Jimmy stuck to his dream of painting, and supported his family after scoring a gig as a comic-book artist. Let’s see Al Bundy do that.

7. Jurgis Rudkus
Sure, he was illiterate, and, at one point, a hobo, but the protagonist of The Jungle embodies the blue-collar, community-minded mentality of our city. Even if the book is pretty anti–hot dog.

8. Preach & Cochise from Cooley High
Cutting class for a day to play on the North Side, joyrides in stolen cars…sounds familiar. But while Ferris got off scot-free, these two city kids got thrown in the clink.

9. Punky Brewster
You might snicker at this little bundle of leg warmers, jelly bracelets and layered sweats, but ask yourself: Could you survive being abandoned at the mall, and then squatting in an empty apartment, at age 9?

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