Heard on the street, March 7, 2013, edition

Funny quotes overheard in Chicago.

1/11

If you have an ass-liver, you�re president of the fraternity.

2/11

I�d rather be clam slapped than wiener whacked.

3/11

�My name is Gregor.� �I am Gregor, too!�

4/11

I carry a personal ChapStick and a guest ChapStick, in case anyone asks.

5/11

When I get into a cab and they have paper towels, I get nervous. I have a puke fear. It�s a problem.

6/11

�I�ve never been anywhere in the Caribbean.� �I�ve never been anywhere.�

7/11

I�m tired and farty.

8/11

Remember how I was going to write that cover letter? Well, now I�m looking at Moroccan poufs on Overstock.com.

9/11

I bet you homed in on my birthing hips.

10/11

Her dildo�s name is Jesus.

11/11

I must get a breath of fresh air. I�m being choked by your corpulence.

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