Heard on the street, September 13, 2013 edition

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  • I don't want to put my penis in something called the Cobra.

  • Growing up in the south, I got my fair fucking share of Civil War sites.

  • If I had Twitter, everyone would know I'm on drugs.

  • Can we switch our order to to go? Turns out we're too fucked up to eat it here.

  • If you buy me a gigolo I'm going to have sex on your bed.

  • You can�t sweep up vomit.

  • I�m checking my trunk for creeps.

  • I walked into Cafe Mustache and was like, �You�re that kid who looks like my dentist!�

  • I didn't know what I should do, so I got drunk.

I don't want to put my penis in something called the Cobra.


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