Heard on the street, September 5, 2013 edition

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  • Remember your birthday when you got the doll cake? Yeah, that�s when I got my knees crushed.

  • One time, I ate too many mangoes and got a rash on my mouth.

  • I quit smoking when it was a buck a pack. I thought that was a lot.

  • She looks like Mickey Rourke, which makes me feel better about work.

  • I told Rick, �Boy, I�m sorry you gotta go home with her!�

  • This stripper wanted to give me a ride back, and I was like, �Fuck yeah!�

  • I think incest is trending.

  • You don�t get my insurance because I�m riding a fucking bike!

  • I just ate an apple and now I�m flossing my teeth at my desk.

Remember your birthday when you got the doll cake? Yeah, that�s when I got my knees crushed.


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