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"Once upon a time Guy Ritchie went to the cinema with Mrs Madge and they saw Tarantino's useless Reservoir Dogs. He was impressed, being a moron, and has been desperately trying to make an English version ever since. He succeeds only in embarrassing himself. His films are painful to watch. Why can't he, and his awful old missus, both quit trying to be cool and go away somewhere and try living like human beings instead of the archprats that they are."

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