Film

We’d have said that what the world really doesn’t need is an updating of the Snow White story set on a college campus. What it also does not need, in our humble opinion, is another movie in which Bynes (She’s the Man, What a Girl Wants) expresses every emotion, from surprise to love, by scrunching up her chipmunk cheeks and mugging for the camera. Alas, we are not the ones making decisions about what gets made in Hollywood.

So Bynes scrunches and mugs her way through the role of Sydney, a tomboyish girl who tries to join her mom’s sorority, although she doesn’t fit in among all those perfectly manicured and coiffed girls. (The idea of Bynes as a tomboy is made sublimely ridiculous by her perfectly applied eye shadow and supershiny lip gloss, which she wears everywhere, including to bed.)

In a plot twist that will surprise exactly no one, the sorority girls are nasty, judgmental bitches, led by the witchy Rachel (Paxton), who takes an immediate dislike to Sydney when Rachel’s ex-boyfriend Tyler (Long) makes goo-goo eyes at the newbie.

The seven dwarves have been transformed into seven dorks who live in a ramshackle house. After Sydney gets humiliated and tossed out of the sorority during pledge week, she takes refuge among this bunch of misfits, who are played so broadly that we began to fear the actors had sustained brain damage during filming. If we were a teenage girl, the target viewer for this dreck, we’d be pissed that someone thought we would consider this entertainment.