Film

You’d think that a pair of young horror directors hoping to make a bloody splash would steer clear of such a title—especially if they don’t come bearing radioactive ants. Alas, this thriller borrows more than just a name. Once again, we’re in one of those Eastern European scary zones (Romania now), in which two sexy young French things—Clémentine (Bonamy), a language teacher, and Lucas (Cohen), her stay-at-home writer hubby—are terrorized in their rural manse by sudden bangs, sharp objects poking through keyholes, and lots of running around screaming.

Process of elimination will lead all but the slowest viewer to the culprits’ identities. The worse crime, though, is a psychological timidity that refuses to go any deeper than xenophobia, coupled with an “arty” Blair Witch camera style that’s about ten years too late to the new-horror gore game. To its credit, Them does not overstay its welcome. But its pacing also feels strangely retrograde: Lacking the nightmarish nihilism of Michael Haneke’s 1997 home-invasion movie, Funny Games, the savagery of today’s explosive torture porn or even a joke or two, Them threatens to return the horror genre to a state of stylish insignificance. Pardon me if I’d rather not go back there.