Film

And this homo pronounces Hollywood totally chickenshit. What’s worse: a film that engages in fag jokes for two hours or one that does it only for the first half, devoting its remaining time to promoting the limpest liberalism? Chuck and Larry wants it both ways, indulging in ass obsession and the lamest queer stereotypes since Franklin Pangborn was in short pants, then hoisting the rainbow flag at half-mast in a panicky cry for tolerance.

Chuck (Sandler) and Larry (James) are het FDNY pals who get hitched in Canada so the latter, a widower with two kids, will have a beneficiary in case something happens to him on the job. To make the ruse seem legit, both try to figure out how to be the king of queens. And of course there’s nothing like pretending to be gay to find the love of a good woman.

Our sexual orientation “has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people,” booms Dan Aykroyd’s fire chief toward the film’s end. Not really, Mary: Who one chooses to do it with is the very foundation of who we are. If the movie really wanted to be gay-friendly, we would’ve seen Sandler and James smooch. On the plus side: Real ’mos Richard Chamberlain and Lance Bass make welcome appearances. And at least the term chubby chaser will be introduced into the lexicon of many Americans.