Film

A gory Irish horror-comedy involving an ancient crucifix, a bungled robbery, the crazed descendants of Ivan the Terrible, and lots of cod-Russian accents. Stranded on the thirteenth floor of a Moscow apartment block with the relic, half a dozen hostages and two incompetent Russian accomplices, American thief Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) tries to avoid being sliced in two by the psychotic Sonya (Bronagh Gallagher) or her pirouetting twin bother, Ivan, who’s a big fan of Shalamar’s ‘A Night to Remember’.

Director Kit Ryan’s attempts to walk a ‘tonal tightrope’ fail dismally, leaving the actors to plunge slowly (but noisily) to their deaths. Tedious, chase scenes are interspersed with over-acted slapstick silliness and the odd funny line. Sean Pertwee’s cameo as Ritchie’s devious Russian uncle is a stand-out. And the animatronic rat (which doubles as an incendiary device) is fun. Otherwise, this is stupid, slipshod stuff.