What it says on the tin, people – a bingo night in a pub for only £1 a time. Experiment with Language Bingo, Team Bingo, Transcendental Bingo, DIY Bingo... Hostess with the mostest (and some killer biceps) is Timberlina.

I have extensive life experience, having served on operations all over the world with Her Majesty's Royal Marines. I'll save the details for later,...