Alternative Nightlife

Swap-A-Rama Razzmatazz

Starkers
Dare to bare
Come on, admit it. Most of us might secretly enjoy a quick boogie in the buff but few of us would actually dare to bare all in a crowded club. If you’re looking to shed a few inhibitions then why not check out Starkers. London’s first naturist club night is a carefree, clothes-free affair based around the concept of having fun, not having it off. Yes, there are supposedly saucy games like ‘Pass the Balloon’, eye-opening naked yoga demos and even the odd stray erection but the atmosphere remains defiantly, and somewhat comfortingly, asexual. With naturism on the rise, Starkers is the place to let it all hang out.
The Factory, 65 Goding Street, SE11 5AW (020 8386 7421www.starkersclub.co.uk) Vauxhall tube/rail. Monthly Fridays 10pm-4am. £15, £10 members.
Feature continues

Scrap Club

Scrap Club
Kill your television
The first rule of Scrap Club is to choose your weapon wisely and the second is to obliterate everything in sight. PCs, pianos, sinks, washing machines: they’re all fair game for the ten precious minutes each attendee is granted. Rousing beats are provided (à la ‘Stomp’) by two musicians using power tools and a mic’d up cement mixer. But there’s more to this anarchic night than merely venting the everyday frustrations Londoners live with: the promoters are keen to paint Scrap Club as a response to the mass consumption of our times. Be warned, there are hidden costs: black bogeys, grimy skin and sore arms. But reducing household items to a mangled heap can be a fun group activity and it’s certainly cheaper than therapy.
Electrowerkz, 7 Torrens St, off City Road, EC1V 1NQ (020 7837 6419/www.electrowerkz.com) Angel tube. Fri 10pm-2am. £7.

Swap-A-Rama Razzmatazz
Fashion frenzy
This offbeat event, where clubbers swap clothes, has migrated across the Channel from Europe’s fashion capital (Paris, duh!) to London’s leftfield-loving East End. For the friendly fee of 99p you are free to grab whatever items take your fancy. But be warned – there is no guarantee you’ll get back as much as you are forced to give. Over-enthusiastic swappers have been known to end the night with little more than a furry waistcoat protecting their modesty. Everyone looks ridiculous – and not in the usual Shoreditch manner, necessitating hours of preparation. Your outfit is dictated by chance – along with a little sartorial bartering.
Favela Chic, 91-93 Great Eastern Street EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 5228/www.favelachic.com) Old Street tube. 99p.

Roller Disco

Roller Disco
Get your skates on!
It might seem like a bit of time warp concept but if you go along to Roller Disco the first thing that strikes you is how sleek and chic the clientele is. It isn’t a time-travelling geekfest in a roller rink at all. Not only is the music cool – think hip hop, soul grooves and party house – there’s a real skating scene with gorgeous black dancers funking out in the middle of the dancefloor while the odd up-for-it granny whizzes past on the outside. The fun and friendly atmosphere lasts all night and there’s no need to feel embarrassed, even if you need to grab someone’s hand – hard! – just to get around the floor.
Renaissance Rooms, off Miles St, Wandsworth Road, SW8 2JG (www.rollerdisco.info) Vauxhall tube/rail. Thur 8pm-12midnight, Fri & Sat 8pm-2am. £12.50.

Shampoo
Quality cuts
Billed as the ‘campest night in town’, this super-kitsch party is brought to London’s clubbers courtesy of those fabulous people at the Soho Revue Bar. Aimed at an adventurous, metrosexual crowd, delectable drag queen, Heidi Liscious plays hostess spreading joy throughout the evening. A rotating line-up of cross-dressing DJs spin a mix of pop classics and disco grooves and there’s always a gender-bending live act to keep glamourpuss punters entertained into the early hours. Learn how to ‘rinse and mince’ in style.
Soho Revue Bar, 11 Walkers Court, W1F 0ED (020 7734 0377/ www.sohorevuebar.com) Oxford Circus tube. Sat 10.30pm-3.30am. £10 (£6 ad/flyer).

Ska Burlesque

Ska Burlesque
The odd couple
One of clubland’s stranger couplings, this theatrical night is a highlight of the South London social scene. Painstaking attention to detail ensures that rude boys and even ruder girls are well catered for. Promoter and resident wax-spinner Steve Kleenex is passionate about the concept, which was inspired by his girlfriend’s love of burlesque and his fondness for Two-Tone sounds. Now at least they can go out together. Performers are sourced from the respected Ministry of Burlesque – girls only – and past guests include the beautiful Mysti Vine and Jerry Dammers of Specials fame. Opposites, it seems, do attract.
Amersham Arms, 388, New Cross Road, SE14 6TY (020 8692 2047/www.myspace.com/skaburlesque) New Cross BR. Monthly Saturdays 9pm-2am. £5 Entry/£3 NUS.

Breaking the Ice
Karaoke capers
Karaoke is a strange beast, embraced by the ditchland masses as the ultimate ironic pastime it has mutated into many weird and wonderful forms. The latest is this monthly urban session which offers budding MCs and Mariahs the chance to unleash their talents. The formula is simple: willing victims arrive early, invent a street-style nickname and choose a classic track from the extensive hit list which features the likes of Jay-Z, Run DMC, Sean Paul and Macy Gray. Once the, erm, fun is over, DJ Ashinel will spin some smooth tunes till it’s time to sober up and head home.
Favela Chic, 91-93 Great Eastern Street EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 5228/www.breakingtheiceevents.co.uk) Old Street tube. Monthly Tuesdays 6pm-1am. Free.

Duckie
Alternative antics
Cabaret that's so out there, it's coming back again. Amy Lamé hosts this arty party playgroup for thirtysomething homos, their friends and fans, with resident DJs Readers Wifes handling the dancefloor. Started as a reaction against the tight T-shirted, leather-clad Soho scene, Duckie is truly alternative. Creative clubbers can get their kicks jazzing-up fairy cakes, making cootie catchers and crafting pop song poetry. Ms Lamé’s famous quiz punctuates the beer-swilling and body-popping, while the chaotic cabaret line-up is guaranteed to reduce you to tears of some sort. There’s simply no Saturday night like it.
Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY (020 7840 0596 /www.theroyalvauxhalltavern.co.uk) Vauxhall tube/rail. Sat 9pm-2am. £5.

The Lip Sinkers
Camp it up
For the ultimate in bohemian warehouse chic head to this converted factory. Tucked away in an East End enclave, it promises a feast for the senses with sophisticated cuisine and classy cabaret. Top of the bill is Johnny Woo’s drag troupe, The Lip Sinkers, who camp it up every Friday and Saturday night. Experts in the neglected art of silent lipsynching, Spanky, Sizzle, Richardette and Lisa Lee showcase a range of spectacular solos, attention-grabbing group numbers and fabulous finales. Believe it or not, but watching a bunch of drag queens miming other people’s songs is seriously funny.
Bistrotheque, 23-27 Wadeson Street, E2 9DR (020 8983 7900/www.bistrotheque.com) Bethnal Green tube. Fri & Sat 9.30pm. £8 (+booking fee), £10 door, £6 diners.

Club Smack!
Good clean fetish fun
Whether you're a dominatrix in the making or more of a gimp, Club Smack! is for those attracted to the darker side of clubbing. Designed to be ‘a haven of pleasure and pain’, it fills its new Hackney home with hordes of glammed-up thrill-seekers. Expect a dungeon, porno, cages, thrones, lots and lots of latex and 'sleazy listening' house music, and there is a changing room on site for those who don't fancy the five minute walk in their French maid outfit. Not for the faint-hearted.
Images, 483 Hackney Road, E2 9ED (07939 852 784/www.club-smack.com) Bethnal Green tube. Monthly Sat 10pm-5am. £15 in advance, £18 on the door.