Around Town

Skint mate from college	Grandparents
Teenage relative	Party animal
Friend with kids	Mum and dad
Long-distance lover	Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college
Lunch
For a slice of Arab London, take them to Ranoush Juice Bar (43 Edgware Road, W2). This west London institution serves Lebanese to eat in or take away – shawarma sandwiches, tabouleh and houmous – and your pal can sample a hookah.

Museum
The Hunterian Museum (The Royal College of Surgeons of England , 35-43 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, WC2) is a visceral alternative to the usual exhibits – packed with four centuries’ worth of body parts, surgical and dental instruments and anatomical sketches.

Shop (and drink)
Berwick Street gives a proper taste of old Soho – with its historic fruit and veg market, numerous record shops, wholesale cheap jewellery and, if you’ve got the inclination, plentiful porn down at its southerly end. Jeffrey Barnard lived in the stumpy tower block halfway down, and you can drink nearby in his customary haunt the Coach and Horses (29 Greek Street, W1). Alternatively, buzzing Brick Lane has plenty of cheap shops – and numerous places for a budget curry. If you're really skint a bagel at Beigel Bake (159 Brick Lane) costs next to nothing.

Evening
Fine dining is out of the question on a budget, so grab a bargain bite in Food For Thought (31 Neal Street). Nearby Lowlander (36 Drury Lane, WC2) is worth a visit for its superlative range of Dutch and Belgian beers. Then for dancing, or just a late-night drink, Burn Soo Bright at The Royal George (Goslett Yard, off Charing Cross Road, WC2) is free to get in and plays retro indie classics until 1am.

Blue plaque
The great thing about the plaque for John Logie Baird, inventor of the telly, isn’t so much its content as its location – just above Bar Italia (22 Frith Street, W1), the perfect pit stop for a reviving espresso before you tackle the night bus home.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Grandparents
Breakfast
Start the day at the Wolseley (160 Piccadilly, W1), though make sure you head for the café bit rather than the pricier restaurant. The big plates of cakes and sarnies at afternoon tea are a real treat, too.

Landmark
They’ll love a boat trip along the canal (020 7286 3428/www.jasons.co.uk), although you might not want to spend too long among the tatooists and piercers of Camden Market at the other end. Alternatively, there’s the ever-popular Kew Gardens (Kew Road, Richmond, TW9).

Museum
Sir John Soane’s Museum (13 Lincoln's Inn Fields, WC2) is free to enter and open until 5pm on Saturday, and holds the architect’s fascinating collection of antiquities. To continue the theme, visit the collection of paintings by old masters at Dulwich Picture Gallery (Gallery Road, SE21) – also designed by Soane. Alternatively there’s the quaint Museum of Garden History (Lambeth Palace Road, SE1), the Churchill Museum and Cabinet War Rooms (King Charles Street, SW1) or go to the Wallace Collection (Manchester Square, W1), which IS packed with treasures including ‘The Laughing Cavalier’, and has the great Café Bagatelle.

Shop
A trip round one of the proper old department stores, surely – Fortnum & Mason (181 Piccadilly, W1) is a good bet, but Liberty (210-220 Regent Street, W1) is Topshop for old folk.

Evening
Impress them with a highbrow visit to the Royal Opera House (Bow Street, WC2). Or if they’re looking for something lighter, at the Old Vic (Waterloo Road, SE1, 0870 060 6628) or the National Theatre (Southbank, SE1) is always a safe and usually have a number of cheap day tickets available for even their big shows.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Teenage relative
Lunch
Try one of the upscale pizza places, Ask or Strada (branches everywhere). They’d probably prefer Planet Hollywood, but at least you tried.

Landmark
Across the road from the Hard Rock Café, the Vault (1 Old Park Lane, W1) is an impressive collection of rare or priceless rock memorabilia. They’re bound to be impressed by having the chance to be photographed with Jimi Hendrix’s guitar (open daily 12noon-10pm; call 020 7514 1719 to book free tours).

Museum
If they’re at that age when they want to appear grown-up, try the Freud Museum (20 Maresfield Gardens, NW3) which holds Freud’s remarkable collection of antiquities. Or the Photographers’ Gallery (5-8 Great Newport Street, W1) is excellent, and also free to enter.

Shop
Head for Topshop, Oxford Circus – those in other cities are pale imitations of the mothership. This is officially ‘the world’s largest fashion store’, renowned for absurdly cheap, cool threads. Teenage girls may never reappear once they find the makeovers, personal shoppers, accessories and a café to distract them. Any boys less interested in fashion (or girls) might prefer to head to the geekier realms of the Forbidden Planet Megastore (179 Shaftesbury Avenue, WC2).

Evening
A walk along the South Bank will take them past gangs of skateboarders near Waterloo bridge, which might appeal. You can people-watch from the BFI South Bank café, and then catch a film. Or if that’s considered too cerebral, the BFI Imax theatre (1 Charlie Chaplin Walk, SE1) is only five minutes’ walk away. If your young visitor’s coming in winter, the outdoor ice-skating rinks that are dotted around the capital (Somerset House, Tower of London, Kew and the Natural History Museum, to name a few, are ideal).

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Party animal
Lunch
Assuming you’re not up for hair of the dog, a greasy spoon should set things off on the right foot. Try the classic E Pellicci (Bethnal Green Road, E2) or the S&M in Islington (4 Essex Road, N1) which serves up superlative sausage and mash.

Shop
One of the owners of Bread & Honey (205 Whitecross Street, EC1) is a DJ, the other is an expert in urbanwear, so even if you aren't cool, you can assume their selections of clothes and accessories will be.

Afternoon drinking
Get in among it in Hoxton. Not quite as trendy as it was, but crawling with bars: Dreambagsjaguarshoes (34-36 Kingsland Rd, E2) is a good spot to start. From there, Bar Kick (127 Shoreditch High St, E1) offers the killer combination of cocktails, tapas and table football. For an altogether more raucous option, Catch (22 Kingsland Road, E2) always has a heady bill of DJs trying out their latest killer record shop finds on the local hipster kids who enjoy the intimate wooden booths and reasonably priced drinks.

Evening
Head off towards Farringdon for a couple more at Eagle (159 Farringdon Road, EC1), the original London gastropub, which boasts excellent draft beer and a killer steak sandwich. After that, its party time down at the constantly hip (and packed) Fabric (77a Charterhouse St, EC1).

Early morning
If you stagger out of the club at 6am needing sustenance, the US-style basement diner Tinseltown (44-46 St John Street, EC1) is just down the road and open 24 hours, serving burgers and milkshakes. If you don’t want to stop, Breakfast at Egg (5-13 Vale Royal, off York Way, N1) sees clubbers from all over London congregate from 5am-2pm. Or if you’re now more in the mood for a bit of a sit down and a quiet pint, the Packenham Arms (1 Packenham Street, WC1) opens at 9am, serving proper ale and breakfasts.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Friend with kids
Landmark
The only landmarks most young children are interested in are those involving slides, and you'll want the buggers to get rid of all their energy so they'll sit still during lunch. The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Playground in Kensington Gardens is one of the most imaginative, with a pirate ship and Tee Pee village to explore; Corams Fields (93 Guildford St, WC1) has everything from baby slides in sandpits to a helter skelter, as well as a small zoo. All adults must be accompanied by children. If you want them to actually look at something, try the Elfin Oak and Peter Pan statues in Kensington Gardens.

Museum
You can't go wrong with the Science or Natural History Museums, which is why they're always packed. Go off-piste with the Imperial War Museum (Lambeth Rd, SE1) which offers guns, planes and tanks as well as the fantastic 1940s house, or, further afield, Stratford's Discover (1 Bridge Terrace, E15), where children are encouraged to make up stories by dressing up, making puppets or just running around yelling.

Lunch
Time Out judged Gracelands (118 College Rd, NW10) to be London's best Family Restaurant in our 2006 Eating & Drinking Awards, and kid-friendly mini-chains Giraffe, Tootsies Grill (beefy burgers), and Tas (top Turkish) have branches near the major museums.

Shop
Hamley's (188-196 Regent St, W1) has the thrill of the toy shop scene in 'Big', while Harrods food halls add a touch of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' to the experience. Jaguar pedal cars too indulgent? The Science Museum shop offers great quirky (and educational) toys.

Bar
At weekends, Smollensky’s On The Strand (105 Strand, WC2) offers balloon modelling, jesters and face-painters; exhausted parents, meanwhile, can neck cocktails. Otherwise, Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes (Tavistock Hotel, Bedford Way, W1/www.bloomsburybowling.com) is a cracking new retro ten-pin bowling alley/diner.

Evening
Perennials such as 'Wicked’ or ‘Billy Elliot the Musical' at the Victoria Palace Theatre (8 Victoria Street, London, SW1) are genuinely thrilling. London first purpose-built children’s theatre The Unicorn (Tooley Street, SE1) is an obvious option but if there's nothing on there The Polka Theatre (240 The Broadway Wimbledon London SW19) is always worth a look too.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Mum and dad
Walk
At morning stroll across Hampstead Heath will give them a good taste of London’s greenery, with a visit to Kenwood House (Hampstead Lane, NW3) – particularly the magnificent library in the east wing, designed by Robert Admas. Poet John Keats’s house is nearby too in Keats Grove.

Lunch
For quality British and French bistro fare take them to Gun (27 Coldharbour, Isle of Dogs, E14), Time Out’s best gastropub of 2005. After a solid lunch with views across the river, you can nip through Greenwich Foot Tunnel to the park, and the National Maritime Museum (Greenwich, SE10). Alternatively, you could introduce them through the delights of Borough Market (Borough High Street, SE1).

Landmark
How about a walking tour such as those arranged by Original London Walks (www.walks.com)? Their tours cover a cornocupia of interests, from Mayfair to Greenwich, Sherlock Holmes to old Jewish London. Alternatively, try any of these.

Shop
Park them over in Chelsea in Duke of York Square. If they’re tired they can have a nice sit down in the leafy square, mum can get her hair done at Richard Ward (82, Duke of York Square, SW3), dad can browse the menswear shops and you can run off down Kings Road.

Bar
The under-rated pubs of St James’s: Golden Lion (25 King St, SW1) and two Red Lions (23 Crown Passage and 2 Duke of York St, SW1) are some of the best, smartest and most historic boozers in London.

Evening
There are regular free classical concerts and organ recitals at the Barbican and at various churches round town (St Dominic’s Priory, Southampton Rd, NW5; St Luke’s, 161 Old Street, EC1). Check listings for details. Or if they’d prefer something slightly more modern, on Sundays 7.30-11pm you can see up and coming artisits at the legendary Ronnie Scott’s (47 Frith Street, 08700 600 100).

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Long-distance lover
Late Brunch
Randall & Aubin (14-16 Brewer Street, W1) opens at midday, and is an elegantly done out brasserie – the perfect place to kick off the day with champagne and oysters.

Landmark
A romantic stroll through St James’ Park will take the edge off the champers, and for a reminder of what really matters you can visit the Albert Memorial in Kensington Gardens – Queen Victoria’s tribute to her late lover.

Museum
At the Tate Britain, you can either head for the Pre-Raphaelite paintings, or take quick spin around the lovesick Degas, Sickert and Toulouse-Lautrec exhibition to stir the blood.

Shop
Take them to tastefully naughty Coco de Mer (23 Monmouth Street, WC2). Whether you end up purchasing any of the saucy lingerie, erotic literature or beautifully-crafted sex toys, the frisson should keep you busy for the rest of the weekend. More of a romantic? Take a Sunday morning stroll through Columbia Road Flower Market (between Gosset Street & Royal Oak pub, 8am-2pm).

Drinks
The Blue Bar at the Barclay Hotel (Wilton Place, SW1) is stylish and discreet, a place to whisper sweet nothings while sipping pre-dinner cocktails.

Dinner
Andrew Edmunds (46 Lexington Street, W1) gets the nod when it comes to romantic restaurants, although you’ll need to book ahead. To catch a movie, the Electic Cinema (191 Portobello Road, W11, 020 7908 9696) is infinitely preferable to your local Odeon – for £30 you can book a two-seater sofa (more like a leather bed) where you can stretch out with a bottle of wine (book ahead). Then it’s a short stagger to the Portobello Hotel (22 Stanley Gardens, W11, 020 7727 2777) to complete your romantic evening.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic

The seen-it-all-before cynic
Lunch
Brave the Egyptian cafe Ali Baba (32 Ivor Place, NW1), where you can sample molokhia, a soup of stewed leaves with the consistency of snot that was considered so revolting it was banned in the eleventh century. That said, the food is what you’d get in a Cairo home, and highly tasty.

Museum
There’s nowhere quite like Dennis Severs’s House (18 Folgate St, E1), a historic Spitalfields town house that is a mixture of art, theatre and museum – it’s certainly unique amongst the city’s attractions. There are extraordinary Christmas candlelit tours as well.

Shop
Marvel at some good old English eccentricity at Swaine Adney Brigg (54 St James's Street, SW1), purveyor of top-quality Panama hats, Champagne coolers, shooting sticks, tweed britches, polo kit , leather luggage and £8,000 hampers. Or just shut your joyless friend up with some extravagant handmade truffles from nearby Prestat (14 Princes Arcade, SW1). It this delightfully old-fashioned chocolatier doesn't bring a tear to their eye and a thrill to their heart then they are beyond redemption.

Bar
London isn’t bursting with weird and quirky themed bars (O’Neill’s doesn’t count), but we do boast the Kempinski Courthouse (19-21 Great Marlborough St, W1), a bar housed in the magistrate’s court where Oscar Wilde got sent down. It has converted prison cells as booths, urinal ice buckets and penal-themed cocktails. Otherwise there’s always CVO Firevault (36 Great Titchfield Street, W1), the only place in the world that sells both alcoholic beverages and a full range of heaters. Your mate might actually need a sit down and a stiff drink once he’s tempted to fork out three grand on a van Outersterp blue-flame fire bowl .

Dinner
So your guest thinks they’ve sampled everything there is to eat? Take them to Archipelago (110 Whitfield Street, W1) where adventurous gourmandisers can chow down on crispy bugs, crocodile fillet, and gnu (it tastes like a cross between rabbit and beef, apparently).

Evening
If your mate still isn’t impressed or even rattled, it’s time to pull out the big (or possibly not so big) guns. On Saturday nights, Vauxhall’s South Central (349 Kennington Lane, SE11) hosts Starkers, a nude disco. It’s unisex, but is predictably mostly full of older men. And we have no idea where you’re supposed to put your loose change.

Skint mate from college | Grandparents | Teenage relative | Party animal | Friend with kids | Mum and dad | Long-distance lover | Seen-it-all-before cynic