Chas & Dave: cockney, mockney, notney or er...rockney?
You live nearest to…
a) Notting Hill.
b) Essex.
c) The beating heart of the east end.
In terms of property, all you want is…
a) A chic apartment in a trendy part of town.
b) A reasonably priced flat with decent local amenities, somewhere in the east End.
c) A room somewhere, far away from the cold night air.
Feature continues
What is liquor?
a) An American word for booze.
b) A parsley sauce that goes with pie and mash.
c) The ambrosia of the gods. I’d eat it every day if I could, me old china.
The furthest east you’ve been on the DLR is…
a) Greenwich.
b) Beckton.
c) Canning Town.
On Saturday afternoon you cheer on…
a) Harlequins.
b) West Ham.
c) Fackin’ Millwall.
Your favourite London market is…
a) Borough.
b) Columbia Road.
c) Exmouth Road.
In an ideal world, every pub would have a…
a) Braised lamb shanks.
b) A piano.
c) Chas’n’Dave posters on the wall, ‘Dodgy’ Dave Courtney sitting in the corner, geezers havin’ it large.
Guy Ritchie is…
a) Madonna’s boyfriend.
b) A twit.
c) A proper geezer.
Were you born within the sound of Bow Bells?
a) No. I was born in a birthing pool.
b) No.
c) Yes.
A Pearly King is…
a) That new boutique on Portobello?
b) A traditional role, passed down through families, that’s sadly dying out.
c) The leader of the Cockneys.
A ‘whistle’ is an essential thing to have with you at…
a) Carnival.
b) Any formal social occasion.
c) A gangster funeral.
In ‘Mary Poppins’, Dick van Dyke’s character was…
a) A cockney.
b) A terrible cockney.
c) A geezer. He sounds like me!
So, how cockney are you?
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5 comments
so true jane harding.i went to the uk and went to devon, cornwall, kent and london and essex.there were different sounding accents in all these places.
i'd hate to be mockney. i wanna sound like a true cockney, but i probably never will cuz i'm from canada. i'm the only person in me school who knows differences between british dialects. i tell 'em everyday dat there are hundreds of british accents, but they insist that a british accent is the popular london accent
very interesting. im australian but have an interest in history in general and this area .my mother was from essex ,dad from devon but their speech has some dialect of cockney down thru their family.my ex husband was born in commercial rd and his father was half scottish half londoner but with a surname like wiseman ,no doubt originally came from the london cockney jews.my sons have the gorgious white blond hair, blue eyes and almond-shaped eyes and beautiful little noses with the flared nostrils and are both very much characters, with a strong love of people, caring, storytellers ,streetwise and have their wits about them , kindhearted but can also tell the odd convincing lie to get their way if they need something.sound cockney enough??i think its come thru strong.......
a cockney geezer is a bloke who has morals and ethics and has to be a true cockney born within the sound of bow bells nobody tells me im wrong someone who has respect for thier familys are diamonds mate
I disagree with lots of details in your artical.
A true Cockney cannot come from south of the river Thames. they have to be born within the sound of Bow Belles, that is within the Parish.
A true cockney today would be born in the city of London.
Pearly kings and queens were costamongers.