The Big Smoke

Cup of tea
The culprit The Hampshire, Leicester Square, WC2.
The Hampshire may be a luxury hotel right in the heart the city, but does that really give it the right to charge £4 for a pot of tea? Unless their PG Tips are sown into silk bags by captive Asian princesses, we think they could probably halve the price without finding themselves in too much hot water.

Fizzy drink
The culprit Chez Gerard, 38 The Market, WC2.
Though many of us remember the days when a can of Coke was 30p, we’re now quite acclimatised to paying 60p in a shop – even as much as a pound when we’re out. Chez Gerard, however, seems to have got itself a flux capacitor and catapulted its little French-themed chain café several years into the future. It may be served in a pretty glass bottle rather than a manky old can, but for the same amount of the sticky brown stuff expect to hand over a sickly £1.80.
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Fish supper
The culprit Palm Court Brasserie, 39 King St, WC2.
This Covent Garden brasserie tries to justify its price for the nation’s favourite dish with the use of carefully crafted phrases, such as ‘battered haddock and minted garden peas’. But what we can’t work out is how they can get away with the supremely fishy price of £12.95. Even Harry Ramsden’s, reptutedly the best chippy in the world, only charges £8.99 for a large portion of the same in one of its restaurants, a price we find much easier to swallow.

Dessert
The culprit Rendezvous Gelateria, 48 Leicester Square, WC2.
While this gelateria boasts an impressive display of brightly coloured ice creams, sorbets and frozen yoghurts, it causes a meltdown when it comes to pricing. For the not-so-sweet sum of £8.95, customers will receive a cold, possibly-not-Belgian waffle, laden with two scoops of their choice. Although the dessert is the size of a small country, it’s no more appealing than Iraq this time of year. It quickly melts into a sloppy mess you don’t want to admit you paid for thanks to the hot chocolate sauce, probably better served in a mug.

Coffee
The culprit Pompidou Café, 7 Irving St, WC2.
While the Pompidou Café is hardly the poshest patisserie on this strip, yet charges £3.50 for a cappuccino. What we find even less palatable, however, is their backwards logic when it comes to charging 50p extra for decaf. Charging extra for something you’re not getting? You wouldn’t expect to pay more for a 99 without the Flake.

Theatre tickets
The culprit The Official Half Price Ticket Booth, Leicester Square, WC2.
What does ‘official’ mean? Not much, judging by the plethora of ticket agencies in Leicester Square. The proper ticket booth, run by the Society of London Theatres, is a rather too subtle, low-lying building on the south side of the square which brilliantly sells cut-price tickets on the day. The majority are half price plus a £2.50 booking fee. But in order to reach the booth, you have to pass by a number of commercial agencies eager to persuade visitors they’ve already arrived at their destination. Potential theatregoers are presented with a barrage of posters and signs, one of them even boasting ‘Official Half Price and Discount Booth’. Few tickets are actually on sale for half price; some cost more than face value. On Time Out’s visit, a ticket for ‘Wicked’ cost £42.50 here, but only £18.50 at the SOLC counter. Most of these agencies are carrying out their business legitimately, but the word ‘official’ has clearly been stretched to breaking point.

A movie
The culprit Odeon, Leicester Square, WC2.
The highest-price ticket for this cinematic palace in the heart of London is a frankly staggering £17.50. So what do you get for that? Feather-down cushions? Waitress service? Red carpet treatment? According to Time Out’s spy, Christine Joseph-Haller: ‘I had a fabulous view – the best I’ve ever had. The seat had an extra head rest that tilted slightly back, ample leg room and wider-than-usual arm rests so you don’t bump your neighbour.’ However, it wasn’t unbridled luxury from beginning to end. ‘Despite the posh seat I still had to stand in a hideous queue for snacks and drinks. I stood for 15 minutes without moving and almost missed the start of the trailers.’ There are clearly some things money can’t buy.

TOTAL COST £91.70, not including travel.


London's dearest days out
There are a huge number of great places in London for a family day out, but some can be wallet-draining in the extreme…

London Aquarium
It has the advantage of a very central location, County Hall, but admission is hugely expensive: £13.25 for adults, £9.75 for children (aged three to 14), free for under-threes and £44 for a family ticket (two adults, two kids). If you think that one pretty fish is much like another, we recommend the new aquarium at the Horniman Museum (100 London Rd, SE23 3PQ) instead. It’s free, with an excellent anthropological museum thrown in.

Star Wars: The Exhibition
Another County Hall attraction – is a pattern emerging? There seems to be agreement among ‘Star Wars’ fans that this is worth seeing, but many timeout.com users have moaned about the prices – £16.50 for adults, £12.50 for children – and they are particularly painful if you’ve got several ‘Star Wars’ aficionados in the family (although under-fives do get in free).

London Zoo
Okay, you get a lot of meat for your money but – at £14.50 for an adult and £11 for a child – a day at the Zoo doesn’t come cheap. There are a couple of ways to reduce the cost: to save 10 per cent buy a family ticket (for two adults and two children or one adult and three children) on the day at the gate, or book in advance online. Or tell your offspring to ask their teachers to book a free trip (Ken Livingstone has negotiated free admission for London state schools).