The Big Smoke

Last night as the art world hordes scurried around a series of cutting edge art shows in London’s trendy east end, a bad smell started to waft from the corner of one particular warehouse space. Visitors to the feted ‘The Future Can Wait ’ group show were treated to an unwanted ‘installation’, when notorious Russian performance artist Alexander Brener pulled down his suitably brown trousers and defecated in the corner.  Apart from his wise choice of Murdoch rag ‘The London Paper’ as his pooper scooper, he should be ashamed of himself.  The cluster of small, explicit paintings that were hanging near to his ‘work’ failed to get the attention they deserved and the curator was evidently in a foul mood, hustling everyone out at 9pm on the dot.

This isn’t the first time the poo man has struck – his other dirty deeds include; defecating in front of a Van Gogh painting at the Museum of Fine Arts in Moscow, having sex in public, pooing in the glass of a panellist during an ICA art lecture and spraying a green dollar sign on Kazimir Malevich's painting 'Suprematisme'. The latter act got him banged-up but even a stint in prison doesn’t seem to have diminished his passion for poo.

If you spot a rather smug-looking man of about six foot wearing brown woollen trousers, braces and a large belt at any of this week’s art events, then steer well clear unless you want to find yourself unwittingly involved in his next piece of performance arse.