Last week, Howard Dorman continued
our London chain story. Here is the tenth chapter, written by Time Out
reader Mark Macrae. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
Chapter Ten by Mart Macrae
The drive had passed in gloomy silence. Traffic backed up and crawled around, looking for a way onto the M25. Advertisements rolled and flickered through the Chiswick haze. Huge planes hung silently overhead, slowly lowering themselves groundwards. What a yawn was air travel. Mostly you were on the ground staring at giant hoardings telling you what fun you should have had and how little you could have paid if you’d gone at a different time. Or somewhere else. Nodding off in hungover bleary-eyed timelag. Regrets, I’ve had a few.
Feature continues
Swerving with his usual panache into Drake Road, Joe spoke at last. ‘Good stag night was it then, sir? Up to your expectorations?’
‘Usual stuff,’ said Thorsten. ‘Probably.’ He caught Joe’s eyes in the rearview mirror. ‘So how is Betsy then? She still safe?’
‘Oh yes I believe so, sir. She was okay when the Croatians called just before you landed. Very quiet, they said she was. No trouble at all so far, not a pipsqueak out of her.’
Betsy was getting hungry. How long had she been cooped up in here? What were they talking about out there? It wasn’t meant to be like this.
Also, she needed a pee. Up off the cold tiled floor, hammer on the door.
Boredom was banished by bacon sandwich odours seeping in, mingled with oriental tobacco smoke. She had an inescapable need to escape. Who did they think she was? WHO DO THEY THINK I AM?
Banging again on the woodwork till her fists hurt. Tears were welling up, trickling down.
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10 comments
Judging from the responses, it seems all are writers wanting to take a stab at writing the next installment. Eventhough we are now on the 13th installment, most of these responses happen to be for the first, a bit misleading in a way until you read carefully.
I'm confused - the title is "A London Story" but what's being published bears little or no relation to it. Babygirl appears to have been spirited AWAY from London; the frequent flashbacks to Germany are quite simply bizarre; thank god Howard Dorman has paid attention to the title!! This story is utterly depressing.
I think the best way to trace Franz would be to place a sheet of translucent paper over an old photograph of him and then carefully sketch his outline with a soft pencil, adding as much detail and colour for realism as possible.
It's no doubt that the piece is well written and would be a good read, but it's a genre. Toby did what he does -write well and about something he has a story in his head about. But if the TimeOut people wanted a large participation then it would have been better to start us off at a path with many possible paths.
Hmmm, nice idea, shame the first chapter is less than inspirational.
Really fun idea, but agreed the beginning doesnt leave a lot to work with at all. I guess the next chapter will really set the tone in stone. Also a deadline wld be nice for submissions (!)
Sorry to change the subject chaps,but I've just noticed that the capricious gods of the Time Out books section have once again ignored our prayers for the listing of our poetry club which they insist is finished. NO !
Y Tuesday poetry club, Tuesday 6th March 2007, 8pm, 3 Kings pub, Clerkenwell close EC1
London's cosy, candle lit club with a cat, 1 year old and going strong. Still a whopping FREE to get in.
Great idea, but a deadline when entries have to be in by each week would be useful. I couldn't see on in the mag or on the site.
Great Idea!! This would have been great fun, just wonder why you had to start us off so somberly with negativity looming in the future. It leaves us very little versatility. Hope you give us the chance again and start us off with a little lighter feeling and a chance for a diverse plot. I'll be looking forward to it.
Nice start Toby, rich with promise and all sorts of potential. It's inspired me to attempt an entry, but I'm a bit rubbish at fiction. Looking forward to the next episode folks.