Last week, Mark Macrae continued
our London chain story. Here is the eleventh chapter, written by Time Out
reader Meredith Wilson. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
Chapter Eleven by Meredith Wilson
It took Mo several seconds to place the man. He looked so different – so awful. On the plane he’d seemed vaguely attractive, but this washed-out ghost bore only the faintest resemblance to that suited, silver-tongued jet-setter. He was wearing a child’s blue towelling dressing gown from whose hem straggly threads hung down, as if a cat had used it for scratching practice. His legs, exposed above the knee, were thin and girlish.
Feature continues
The man rubbed his eyes. ‘What do you want?’
Tobias spoke first. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Me? I live here. Now fuck off.’
He started to close the door but Mo rushed forward. ‘Wait. What’s your name?’
‘Sting,’ said the man. ‘No, hang on… Mark Knopfler. No, hang on… Fish.’
‘Please,’ Mo pleaded, ‘stop it. I need to talk to you. About my sister. She’s vanished.’
The man made a decent show of incredulity. ‘I don’t know you,’ he said, ‘so I’m hardly gonna know your sister, am I?’
‘You do know me,’ said Mo. ‘We spoke. On the plane. Your name’s Thorsten.’
The man led them inside, into a narrow galley kitchen. Tobias whistled. Every inch of every surface was covered with dirty plates and pans. There were stains on the ceiling – star-shaped brown splodges. A dismantled espresso pot sitting in a pool of gritty water supplied a possible explanation.
Thorsten pulled three dirty mugs from the sink. ‘Coffee?’
Mo grimaced. ‘Not out of those.’
‘What’s wrong with them?’
‘They’re dirty.’
‘Dirt is in the eye of the beholder,’ said Thorsten, winking at Tobias as he unplugged the kettle.
‘It bloody isn’t,’ said Mo, annoyed by this attempt to exclude her. ‘Now stop playing for time and tell us what you know.’
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10 comments
Judging from the responses, it seems all are writers wanting to take a stab at writing the next installment. Eventhough we are now on the 13th installment, most of these responses happen to be for the first, a bit misleading in a way until you read carefully.
I'm confused - the title is "A London Story" but what's being published bears little or no relation to it. Babygirl appears to have been spirited AWAY from London; the frequent flashbacks to Germany are quite simply bizarre; thank god Howard Dorman has paid attention to the title!! This story is utterly depressing.
I think the best way to trace Franz would be to place a sheet of translucent paper over an old photograph of him and then carefully sketch his outline with a soft pencil, adding as much detail and colour for realism as possible.
It's no doubt that the piece is well written and would be a good read, but it's a genre. Toby did what he does -write well and about something he has a story in his head about. But if the TimeOut people wanted a large participation then it would have been better to start us off at a path with many possible paths.
Hmmm, nice idea, shame the first chapter is less than inspirational.
Really fun idea, but agreed the beginning doesnt leave a lot to work with at all. I guess the next chapter will really set the tone in stone. Also a deadline wld be nice for submissions (!)
Sorry to change the subject chaps,but I've just noticed that the capricious gods of the Time Out books section have once again ignored our prayers for the listing of our poetry club which they insist is finished. NO !
Y Tuesday poetry club, Tuesday 6th March 2007, 8pm, 3 Kings pub, Clerkenwell close EC1
London's cosy, candle lit club with a cat, 1 year old and going strong. Still a whopping FREE to get in.
Great idea, but a deadline when entries have to be in by each week would be useful. I couldn't see on in the mag or on the site.
Great Idea!! This would have been great fun, just wonder why you had to start us off so somberly with negativity looming in the future. It leaves us very little versatility. Hope you give us the chance again and start us off with a little lighter feeling and a chance for a diverse plot. I'll be looking forward to it.
Nice start Toby, rich with promise and all sorts of potential. It's inspired me to attempt an entry, but I'm a bit rubbish at fiction. Looking forward to the next episode folks.