A London story
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By Time Out editors
Posted: Tue Feb 27 2007
Last week, Meredith Wilson continued our London chain story. Here is the twelfth chapter, written by Time Out reader Nick Booth. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
Chapter Twelve by Nick BoothTobias didn’t hear the phone right away.
The shower usually blocked out the ringing. Today, a Tesco bag covered his head, offering an extra level of sound insulation. If that wasn’t enough, the sound of the shower droplets crashing against his crinkly PVC helmet created a din that a sonic boom would drown in.
But that wasn’t why they called it simulated drowning. No, simulated drowning refers to the panic induced when your brain is fooled into thinking you’re going to a watery grave. It’s the hot new torture technique used by the CIA, as they probably say in London’s creepiest style magazines. All you need is a plastic bag, a source of running water and someone to interrogate, and you’re ready to waterboard. A few minutes of this and interrogators can make terrified victims admit to anything.
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Or can they? How would Tobias fare? He’d long suspected he wouldn’t crack under torture. So now was his chance to find out.
Besides, if Waterboarding is all the rage in America, you can be damn sure it’ll catch on over here pretty soon. Tobias had given up fighting the flood of crummy ideas being imported into London, which was now the European distribution centre of stupid shit.
‘It’s so sad. Few Londoners ever think anything original,’ Tobias had once lamented. ‘They just copy everything from America.’
‘We, like, so don’t,’ said Mo.
Tobias just wanted to be ahead of the game. He wanted to be au fait with American military torture techniques before they were used over here to, say, enforce the hosepipe ban.
So: he was in the shower, with a bag on his head and the water running. Consequently, he didn’t hear the telephone’s ring filtering through the woodwork; wouldn’t have done, even if he hadn’t been screaming in terror.
A figure stood in front of the shower curtain, holding a lethal-looking object.
‘For God’s sake,’ said Mo. ‘Will you stop beating yourself up? There’s a man on the phone for you. He sounds foreign.’ She handed him the handset. ‘And if you’re going to scare yourself shitless, make sure you clean up the bath afterwards. Tell me you’re not going to push those turds down the plug hole?’
Tobias put the handset to his ear. ‘Mr Tobias,’ said a voice. ‘I want to talk about Toucan Telecom. Is this a good time?’
‘Not really,’ said Tobias, ‘I was just waterboarding myself. You know, to see if I could stand up to torture?’
‘I’m afraid I don’t understand,’ said the agent for Toucan Telecom.- Add your comment to this feature
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10 comments
Judging from the responses, it seems all are writers wanting to take a stab at writing the next installment. Eventhough we are now on the 13th installment, most of these responses happen to be for the first, a bit misleading in a way until you read carefully.
I'm confused - the title is "A London Story" but what's being published bears little or no relation to it. Babygirl appears to have been spirited AWAY from London; the frequent flashbacks to Germany are quite simply bizarre; thank god Howard Dorman has paid attention to the title!! This story is utterly depressing.
I think the best way to trace Franz would be to place a sheet of translucent paper over an old photograph of him and then carefully sketch his outline with a soft pencil, adding as much detail and colour for realism as possible.
It's no doubt that the piece is well written and would be a good read, but it's a genre. Toby did what he does -write well and about something he has a story in his head about. But if the TimeOut people wanted a large participation then it would have been better to start us off at a path with many possible paths.
Hmmm, nice idea, shame the first chapter is less than inspirational.
Really fun idea, but agreed the beginning doesnt leave a lot to work with at all. I guess the next chapter will really set the tone in stone. Also a deadline wld be nice for submissions (!)
Sorry to change the subject chaps,but I've just noticed that the capricious gods of the Time Out books section have once again ignored our prayers for the listing of our poetry club which they insist is finished. NO !
Y Tuesday poetry club, Tuesday 6th March 2007, 8pm, 3 Kings pub, Clerkenwell close EC1
London's cosy, candle lit club with a cat, 1 year old and going strong. Still a whopping FREE to get in.
Great idea, but a deadline when entries have to be in by each week would be useful. I couldn't see on in the mag or on the site.
Great Idea!! This would have been great fun, just wonder why you had to start us off so somberly with negativity looming in the future. It leaves us very little versatility. Hope you give us the chance again and start us off with a little lighter feeling and a chance for a diverse plot. I'll be looking forward to it.
Nice start Toby, rich with promise and all sorts of potential. It's inspired me to attempt an entry, but I'm a bit rubbish at fiction. Looking forward to the next episode folks.