A London story
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By Time Out editors
Posted: Tue Feb 27 2007
Last week, Stephen Emms continued our London chain story. Here is the sixth chapter, written by Time Out reader Mary O'Connor. Thanks to everyone who contributed.
Chapter Six by Mary O'ConnorBetsy had been trapped in the room for what felt like several long hours. Her body had begun weaving from side to side, half in boredom and half in anxiety. What was being concealed from her on the other side of the door? Her father’s logical mind, which had been passed down to her like a crown, was no use to her now as she observed her surroundings. The door was locked and outside people were talking in a foreign language. No amount of logic could help her understand what they were saying.
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Betsy began to consider her body in a new light. She had never thought of herself as physically strong, but she felt in danger now and determined to defend herself. Her admiration for Franz had gone, she felt vulnerable and inside she was quivering like a child. But her dress hugged her body tightly so that her curves were exposed. Could she use her femininity to escape the room? She dismissed this quickly, for now she would use only strength of mind. She slumped down onto the tiled floor to begin thinking, but the drab surroundings were not very stimulating.
Mo woke up, dreamy but startled. When she remembered where she was, her body seemed to convulse and something toxic spiked her palate. She looked to her right and saw the lean body of Tobias next to her, insulating her from the old wooden window frame. He turned and smiled, and said, ‘Last night was nice, Mo. I really want to help you find Betsy. I’m going to quit being a waiter. It’s been so long since I’ve really helped someone… beyond serving them drinks.’
Mo felt relieved. She wanted someone to help her find Betsy. She needed strength. Tobias seemed a kind and generous man, but somehow she couldn’t really remember last night. She must have seduced him. Then, as she sipped some water and started to plan the day, she had a fleeting thought: Why do people use other people as a means to an end?- Add your comment to this feature
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10 comments
Judging from the responses, it seems all are writers wanting to take a stab at writing the next installment. Eventhough we are now on the 13th installment, most of these responses happen to be for the first, a bit misleading in a way until you read carefully.
I'm confused - the title is "A London Story" but what's being published bears little or no relation to it. Babygirl appears to have been spirited AWAY from London; the frequent flashbacks to Germany are quite simply bizarre; thank god Howard Dorman has paid attention to the title!! This story is utterly depressing.
I think the best way to trace Franz would be to place a sheet of translucent paper over an old photograph of him and then carefully sketch his outline with a soft pencil, adding as much detail and colour for realism as possible.
It's no doubt that the piece is well written and would be a good read, but it's a genre. Toby did what he does -write well and about something he has a story in his head about. But if the TimeOut people wanted a large participation then it would have been better to start us off at a path with many possible paths.
Hmmm, nice idea, shame the first chapter is less than inspirational.
Really fun idea, but agreed the beginning doesnt leave a lot to work with at all. I guess the next chapter will really set the tone in stone. Also a deadline wld be nice for submissions (!)
Sorry to change the subject chaps,but I've just noticed that the capricious gods of the Time Out books section have once again ignored our prayers for the listing of our poetry club which they insist is finished. NO !
Y Tuesday poetry club, Tuesday 6th March 2007, 8pm, 3 Kings pub, Clerkenwell close EC1
London's cosy, candle lit club with a cat, 1 year old and going strong. Still a whopping FREE to get in.
Great idea, but a deadline when entries have to be in by each week would be useful. I couldn't see on in the mag or on the site.
Great Idea!! This would have been great fun, just wonder why you had to start us off so somberly with negativity looming in the future. It leaves us very little versatility. Hope you give us the chance again and start us off with a little lighter feeling and a chance for a diverse plot. I'll be looking forward to it.
Nice start Toby, rich with promise and all sorts of potential. It's inspired me to attempt an entry, but I'm a bit rubbish at fiction. Looking forward to the next episode folks.