Books & Poetry

The word ‘dumped’ suggests the abrupt, underhand disposal of unwanted goods. To say that Caroline Oulton’s real-life experience with her ex fits this definition would be understating it: he left her and their two little boys for a colleague he had ‘admired’ (his word) for some time.

‘The Bolter’, as Oulton dubs him, is so instantly repugnant to any female reader for his astounding selfishness, weakness and unreliability that you quickly love to hate him. If all the women in the country were to read this book simultaneously, you could stand on the street and hear the exclamations of disbelief, sympathy and indignation rise up as loudly as after any football result.

So if you’ve recently been dumped, or are just feeling a bit cheesed off with men, you’ll find this cathartic. Never mind how bad your break-up was, the Bolter will almost certainly out-cad your own ex. But the bonus is that it’s not simply a moan or terrifying harpy-rant – there’s enough humour, hope and solid advice within its pages to see you through. Oulton’s ex was the primary carer, so his departure left a larger void than usual for the children, who took to wetting the bed and crying through the night. The most useful section deals with how to keep the whole family’s heads above water once dad’s gone.

Oulton’s self-deprecatingly jolly humour keeps spirits resolutely up throughout, while the fact that the book exists is proof that she made it out the other side. Even if the Bolter remains anonymous, revenge surely doesn’t get much sweeter than that.