Books & Poetry

Summer 2004: a baked-bean eating contest. After just two and a half minutes, Sonya, weighing in at just over seven stone, has all but finished her 8.4 pounds of beans. ‘What does she do? Pour ’em down her shirt?’ wonders fellow competitor ‘Yellowcake’ Subitch. ‘Cookie’ Jarvis ‘just lifts his head, looks at Sonya, registers the most crestfallen look you could ever imagine, and vomits beans through his nostrils.’ Welcome to the world of Competitive Eating, USA.

It’s a world where the best merit a sobriquet: Dave ‘Coondog’ O’Karma, Bill ‘El Wingador’ Simmons, ‘Jalapeno’ Jed Donahue and Sonya ‘Black Widow’ Thomas, whose eating titles are so numerous, contest announcers list them alphabetically as they introduce her: asparagus, eggs, fruit cake, Maine lobster, meatballs, oysters, sweet potato casserole and grilled cheese sandwiches among them. Surprisingly, it’s also a world where the best doesn’t mean the biggest, or even that they’re American. Thomas is from South Korean, while the greatest eater in the world, buffet king Takeru Kobayashi, is stick-thin and Japanese. Kobayashi, who recently broke his own Nathan’s Hot Dog eating record (54 in 12 minutes) rightly warrants a couple of chapters. His trick is to relax his oesophagus (like a sword swallower) and stretch his stomach pre-tournament. He eats so quickly, his hands can hardly keep up with his mouth.

A year on the road with these ‘gurgitators’ has produced a funny, sometimes poignant tale where the real winner is Fagone’s prose. Last word to El Wingador, who wants a buffet at his funeral: ‘If there’s any leftovers, throw ’em in my casket.’