Dusty Limits' wedding

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Dusty Limits is marrying three ’grooms‘ in the alt.cabaret event of the year. Time Out gets her hat

  • Dusty Limits' wedding

    The pretty face of polygamy: Dusty's gorgeous grooms (image © Robert Harper)

  • Why are you doing this?

    ‘The honest reason? We got drunk one night and thought it would be funny.’

    How are your plans going?

    ‘I don’t know how anyone organises a real wedding, there’s so much to do! I’ve got to order a screaming flying monkey.’

    A bit different to tracking down perfect floral centrepieces, then.

    ‘Yes, a bit different from that but you’ve just made me think: Shit! The flowers.’

    Debrett’s says that there should be a restrained attitude to things.

    ‘Do they? Ours is going to be really chaotic, it’s not really a show. None of us really know what’s going on. We do have an order of service, though.’

    Will it work?

    ‘It depends how drunk we are when we start. But we’ve got lots of weird little things happening. My vows are going to be sung by Bourgeois & Maurice.’

    That’s a bit hippy.

    ‘No, it’s not. It’s a happening, man. They’re singing my vows. The grooms’ vows will be done via a ventriloquist’s dummy and then interpreted into interpretive dance.’

    Is there a honeymoon?

    ‘That’s the grooms’ job, and they’ve done absolutely nothing. I got an email saying, “I dunno, Brighton?” Still, they haven’t seen their rings yet. I spent a pound on each in a shop in Bethnal Green Road.’

    What about table decorations…

    ‘We’re not having tables. We’re going to have kazoos.’

    And about the receiving line?

    ‘Good point. We should have one. That should come before the throwing of the bouquet, shouldn’t it? We’re going to have a burlesque bouquet battle. Hopefully in the process they’ll lose all their clothes.’

    A cake? Perhaps the traditional three tiers?

    ‘Yes, one pound each from M&S. I see no reason to spend money on a cake.’

    The reception is traditionally held a few minutes from the church.

    ‘We’re going to go out of the club, go back in and pretend it’s a different place. We don’t have a reception, we have a deception. The deception being that it’s the same place.’

    Most importantly, where is your wedding list held?

    ‘I want white goods! That’s all this is really about! I wish. We couldn’t even get booze sponsorship, Hendrick’s gin turned us down!’

    It’s a cash bar, then.

    ‘Yes, no free booze. And it’s £5 to get in.’
    The Wedding of the (Leap) Year , Feb 29, Bethnal Green WMC.

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