Clubs

DO be smugly all-knowing; stroke your chin and comment on the ‘excellent top-rocking’ of German crew (and 2006 Beat Battle winners) Flying Steps. Remember to say, ‘Of course, the Koreans have taken it to a whole other level of the game’ when the Drifterz take to the stage; breakdancing has mutated into a multimedia stage, screen and soap opera cultural juggernaut in South Korea.

DON’T say ‘Have you seen “Stomp The Yard” yet? It’s really good’.
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DO Nod your head appreciatively at the choice beats being thrown down by DJ Marley Marl, and agree wholeheartedly with the rapped sentiments of EPMD collaborator and Method Man’s smoking buddy Redman, both of who are providing the non-breakdance side of the entertainment.

DON’T listen to Crazy Legs lecturing you about how things were better in his day and kids today don’t know they’re born. The former Rock Steady Crew member doesn’t seem able to face the fact that today’s B-persons are simply better than he was, and isn’t shy about letting anyone know. If you see him approaching, try putting your fingers in your ears and humming, and pretending it’s a new breakdance move he doesn’t know.

DO shave a bit of your head, monk-style. Really experienced breakdancers are recognisable thanks to the small bald spot on the very top of their heads. Not (necessarily) because they’re old and boring like Crazy Legs, but because years of windmilling around on their noggins have busted those follicles fresh outta sight. Younger B-boys often wear woolly hats to protect against this phenomenon.

DON’T wear a woolly hat. It’s rude to wear a hat indoors.

DO be amazed by some of the moves, particularly the nouvelle vogue Animation style (a form of stop-motion popping which appears to have been created by Ray Harryhausen, but which is actually happening in real life). It’s like breakdance fireworks night. There’s no shame in going ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’.

DON’T try to copy what you see. Breakdancing is DANGEROUS, and should be practised only under hip hop supervision.

The Red Bull Beat Battle is this Saturday at a secret location.