Clubs

If you thought cigarettes used to stink up the disco, then you might be shouting ‘come back smokers, all is forgiven!’ now. ‘BO’ and ‘feet and farts’ describe some of the aromas that have assailed clubbers in the three months since the smoking ban became law. Smells like teen spirit? Er no, smells like a soap-dodging teenager’s bedroom. Glamorous it ain’t.

We knew this was going to happen, because well-travelled DJs and EasyJet-setting clubbers had warned us of the real side-effects of taking the smoke outside. The odour of other bodies is actually the least of the problems though: clubbers may gradually adjust to the idea of showering before they go out while some London venues are already copying their Japanese and American counterparts by distributing fragrance around the club via air-conditioning systems – or the smoke machine, ironically enough.
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The effects of the ban can vary considerably from one venue to another, with some clubs reporting ‘no complaints’ or disruption, while others complain of a 20 per cent damage to business. The problems, though, are widespread, as a prohibition designed to solve a public health issue has created myriad unintended consequences, from noise pollution, litter and disruption, to drug dealing and violence in smoking areas around clubs. Meanwhile the turmoil created when so many clubbers frequently move around venues is destroying the very atmosphere that people go out to experience.

These problems will become more acute as the temperatures plummet. EGG on York Way is a club that’s well placed to cope with the ban, as it proudly proclaims that it has the largest club garden in the UK. Like most clubs with terraces or gardens, it continues to attract smokers who like wandering outside without having to queue. Their garden has often been busy through the night, but this means that at least one of the three indoor floors was dead quiet. EGG will need a lot of outdoor heaters to keep smokers from freezing in winter, but that won’t help warm up a near-deserted dancefloor.

Most London venues, from Mayfair members’ clubs to Shoreditch’s basement dives, don’t have access to such user-friendly outdoor smoking spaces, and if they do they are often obliged to close them early to prevent noise pollution. The roof terrace at The White House in Clapham closes at 11pm whereupon ‘a lot of people just leave because they can’t be bothered to go back inside.’ Brixton’s Dogstar has a courtyard garden which closes at midnight. Thereafter smokers who stay on must head for the pavement on Coldharbour Lane; at weekends there may be 40 or 50 outside at once.

‘The ban has had a very bad effect on our club,’ said a spokesperson at Aldgate’s Bar 54. ‘The bouncers get a lot more hassle and we’ve had to employ more security to regulate the smoking space. Punters can get very aggressive when we tell them to go back in or that they can’t go outside as it’s too busy.’

Rumours that people in smoking areas are more likely to be approached by drug dealers have been privately confirmed by venue managers, prompting one office wag to ask ‘how many fags will I need to smoke before I can score a line?’

‘It’s no joke. I still smoke’ is inscribed on the wristband which allows smokers outside at SeOne. It’s one of many strategies clubs have used depending on the space(s) they have for smokers. At Fabric it can take half an hour to queue for the garden (it may be longer at The End or Sosho) where smokers get just five minutes to puff away. There’s no time limit at the Scala ‘but bouncers only let 25 people out at a time.’

All these smokers (and their mates) moving hither and thither is making DJing and party promotion much more unpredictable. The good-time vibe that DJs and clubs strive for is harder to achieve and maintain. In an industry that’s built upon confidence this really matters. Once the confidence goes, promoters play safer, limiting risks and exposure to losses. The collective euphoria that helped fuel Britain’s dancefloor revolution over the past 20 years may feel like a distant memory if the dancefloor itself is in a constant state of flux. Stories of brilliant (ware)house parties where smoking is welcomed are more than just rumours.

It took New Yorkers years to adapt to their smoking ban, by which time many people had finally quit smoking but the nightlife had changed character and become far more conservative. It really would stink if a similarly seismic shift were to happen here.