Comedy

Markus Birdman
Background He’s been performing stand-up for seven years: ‘Good Lord, if I’d held up a post office I’d be out by now.’ This is his fifth time in Edinburgh and his second solo show, ‘so this is my difficult second album’.
Show ‘It’s called “Son of a Preacher Man”; it’s about my relationship with my father, who’s a vicar. It’s about my relationship with my daughter, who’s two. It’s about my relationship with God, who’s never there. And it’s about an hour.’
Why do it? ‘I just want to spread a little joy around bonnie Scotland. Honestly? To expand on my comedic talents. To expand my overdraft. To expand at length on subjects no one else cares about. And, with that delicious Scottish cuisine, to expand my waistline.’
Cost ‘I expect it will cost me £8,000 to £10,000. I should have held up that post office. I expect nothing back. I’m like a Zen monk of non-expectancy. If anything good comes back, it’s all gravy. I expect the emotional cost to be unspeakable. My financial position after each festival has always been bent over a table and holding my breath.’
London preview: Funny Side of Covent Garden (this Sun).
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Carey Marx
Background ‘I came to the circuit in 1997 as a comedy magician and I became a stand-up in 2002. This will be my fourth solo show.’
Show ‘It’s called “Sincerity Aside” because I’m done with writing shows with heavy themes. This show has nothing to say. It’s simply my summer collection of new jokes. There are no props except a teddy bear called Parsnip.’
Why do it? ‘Without the Festival it would be too easy to be a jobbing comic and rest on my laurels. I’d like more laurels before I do that. So I do it despite the expense, the expectations, the un-level playing field, the boiling venues and the need for elaborate sales pitches.’
Cost ‘I would prefer not to calculate the losses of previous shows. Two years ago, one promoter showed me his figures and boasted that if my show sold out every night, I’d only lose £7,000.’
Edinburgh previews: Crack Comedy Club (this Sun), Amused Moose West End (Tue).

Lucy Porter
Background ‘I’ve been doing comedy for about 12 years, so basically since I was a young slip of a girl. I first performed at the Festival in 1995, when I got to the final of ‘So You Think You’re Funny?’ I didn’t win, but I was hooked and finally plucked up the courage – and money – to do my own show in 2002. I’ve done one every year since then.’
Show ‘It’s “Lucy Porter’s Love-In”. It’s about different kinds of love. There’s a slightly hippy-ish vibe. And it may contain nudity, though not mine.’
Why do it? I can’t really imagine what I’d do in August if I didn’t. I generate a new show which I can tour the country with next year. It’s the best festival in the world. The audiences are generally incredibly comedy literate and bright.’
Cost ‘The first time I took an hour-long show it cost me £5,000 for the venue, publicity and so on. I had to borrow it. I could potentially have lost another £5,000 if no one had come to see it. It was really scary. Luckily, since then I’ve started to make money from it. It’s maybe not the most lucrative month of my year but it’s the most fun.’
London previews: N20 Comedy Festival at BAC (this Wed) then Hen & Chickens (Thur, Fri, Mon Tue & July 28).

Rhod Gilbert
Background ‘I’ve been doing comedy for five years. It feels more like five hours. This is my third solo show in a row on the Fringe.’
Show ‘It’s a love story but, as usual, it’s miserable as shit. It’s called “Who’s Eaten Gilbert’s Grape?” – a hilarious twist on the film title “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?”. I happened to be watching the film when I met the love of my life. So it’s about me finding love while trapped in a shitty little town, watching a miserable love story.’
Why do it? ‘Popular demand. If I don’t go, there will be millions of disappointed punters. That disappointment could spill over into anger and eventually into violence. There are no joys involved. Every aspect of taking a show to Edinburgh is a horror.’
Cost ‘It costs about 10 to 15 grand for me to put a show on there. In my two previous years, I’ve sold every ticket for every show and had to put on several extra ones. I’ve still not made a penny; last year I broke even. Can anyone explain that to me?’
London previews: Monkey Business Kentish Town (this Sat), Electric Mouse Baker Street (Sun) and Amused Moose West End (Tue).

Watson & Oliver
Background ‘We met at secondary school in Kingston-upon-Thames. A couple of years ago we officially formed as a double act. This will be our second year at the Festival as Watson & Oliver, but both of us have performed there since we were students.’
Show ‘It’s a sketch show. A lot of the stuff is based on popular cultural references with a surreal twist. For instance, there’s a sketch entirely in German featuring Boris Becker and Steffi Graf ending with a tennis-themed dance routine.’
Why do it? ‘It’s like a trade fair for comedians. If you’re a new act, you have to go if you want to make your mark. Also, it makes us come up with an hour of new live material each year.’
Cost ‘Most people make a loss. There’s no doubt it’s expensive, but you look on it as an investment.’
London preview: Soho Theatre (this Fri).

Patrick Monahan
Background ‘Professionally, I’ve been a comedian since the age of 25. But I won the prize at an entertainment pageant when I was two. This is my sixth Festival. For the past three years I’ve done solo shows.’
Show ‘I’ve called it “Feel the Love”. Somebody suggested it sounds like a sequel to “Brokeback Mountain”. But there are no cowboys, apart perhaps from the guy who’s putting up the lighting rig.’
Why do it? ‘My mother’s relatives come over from Iran each August. Individually they’re lovely. But a group of them together, chatting, shouting, banging on and burning American flags; I use any excuse to get away.’
Cost ‘I’m lucky because I go up with my agent and she’s very good at suggesting what is worth spending on. She’s very tight, like me. She’s Scottish. I’m Irish-Iranian-Northern. Loads of stereotypes there! You could make £50,000 to £60,000 in ticket sales if the Fringe lasted for 52 weeks. But it’s only four weeks long.’
London preview: Theatre Royal Stratford (July 29).