Comedy

Like some ageing rock band that splits up and then reforms for a few major gigs when individual careers allow, the Ornate Johnsons come together from time to time to put on a new sketch show. Their latest originated in an invitation to create a comedy programme for the BBC4 Edwardian season. It went out a couple of months ago and now there’s a spin-off stage version. ‘It contains all the stuff that was too interesting or too amusing for them to allow us to put it on the telly,’ Brian Mitchell (pictured fourth from left) declares. ‘The Arts Theatre wanted us to do a run. So here it is! It’s lovely to be doing something in good ol’ London town!’
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Mitchell’s more than happy to be here in August rather than Edinburgh. ‘The Festival is such an exhausting and insane event. Even if you do well there, you suffer horrible injuries to your health and your bank balance. I don’t want to sound destructive but I’d gladly see the whole thing fall apart.’ He’s enthusiastic, too, about using the Edwardian era as a source of humour. ‘It’s full of parallels with today. Much of what shaped us has its roots in that period: flight, atomic science, radio, psychology, saucy postcards. It all started so optimistically and then ended in disaster with the Great War. Much like the history of the Ornate Johnsons’ career.’

So what’s to see in their Teddy-time extravaganza? There’s a sketch about Scott’s famous expedition to the South Pole and Captain Oates’
heroic parting words (so characteristic of the British stiff upper lip, or was it simply severe frostbite?). There’s another featuring Houdini. Charles Rennie Mackintosh saves the citizens of Glasgow from a particularly nasty series of indigestion incidents. The Pankhurst Sisters (Christabel and Silvia) do their thing (sample: ‘You know what a vote is, don’t you?/ Course I do!/What is it, then?/A vote’s what you use to go a-sailing on the vater!’).

Mitchell particularly enjoys playing King George V and the sinking of the Titanic. Glen Richardson (far left) stars in a melodramatic piece about devil worshipper Aleister Crowley (‘the godless things you are about to witness have driven the sanest men in creation spinning into the twilight lands of insanity’). Pavlov puts in an appearance. So does his wife. And possibly the dogs. There’s even a man with a wooden arse.

The five members of the group (they’re joined for this special show by Emily Pithon of BBC2’s ‘Love Soup’) have widely differing takes on the whole Edwardian bit. For Clea Smith it’s down to two essential factors: ‘They all had dodgy teeth and the women were constantly on the edge of a nervous breakdown.’ Richardson claims he identifies with the suffragettes: ‘But only because I get a kick out of being tied to railings.’

Mitchell says he relates to anyone with rickets who lives in a slum. Laurence Relton (second from left) points out that Roy Hattersley (no less) has written the definitive history of the Edwardians. ‘His next project will be the definitive history of the Ornate Johnsons.’

David Mounfield (far right) takes it upon himself to speak for everyone. ‘I identify with their splendid diet. Brian identifies with every single aspect of their existence including eugenics. Glen identifies with their strange health fads. Larry with their snappy dress sense and Clea with the women’s struggle in the face of many boorish and unpleasant men.’ His deconstruction of that distinctive Ornate Johnsons effect runs something like this: ‘Our shows are very much like an album – the positioning of sketches is as important as the content. Does that sound pretentious? Good.’

Over the years the Johnsons (yes, we know, it’s the American for ‘prick’) have engineered around 15 shows. This could well be one of the best. ‘We are as one,’ Relton proclaims. Five heads. Or six. One purpose. No hope. By calling Dave “a fat bastard” I’m calling myself “a fat bastard”. Nonetheless I still call him “a fat bastard”.’

Mounfield compares it with mucking around with your mates for a laugh. It’s far more professional than that. But that’s not the image they want to cultivate. He was quizzed on what sketches he most favoured. ‘The one about the dead parrot and that one about fork handles. Or was it four candles? Hilarious.’

The Ornate Johnsons have set up camp at the Arts Theatre. They’ll stay there until August 11.