Comedy

I thought this was going to be easy. Not that I have a great, encyclopaedic knowledge of any humour. But, surely, I could differentiate between what’s funny in America and Britain’s fairly easily, just from my own experiences. For instance, on this side of the pond, parents take the whole parenting thing way too seriously. When I’m standing at the bus stop conversing with the other dads about our kids I find I’m at my least funny.

When I say, ‘I love hanging out with my kid, can’t get enough of it, it’s like smoking crack,’ they grab their kids off the bus and guard them from my path as if I was a slobbering wolverine ready to attack. My British peers would think that was kind of amusing. But we are a ‘nation of fear’ over here; simply joking or saying the wrong thing at an inappropriate time can get you incarcerated, branded as a blasphemous traitor and beaten with a rubber hose in a forgotten cell. After being Taser-gunned, of course.
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One simple answer would be, and this is snobbish of course, that your humour is darker, more sarcastic and articulate. Think Oscar Wilde. Americans are brutish, prudish, uneducated and more prone to jokes about flatulence. Think ‘Good Luck Chuck’ star Dane Cook. This is a bit simplistic; although it is true irony escapes Americans.

Humorous success can happen over here utilising ‘higher concepts’: Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut and ‘The Simpsons’ all come to mind. I must confess though I do sit back and think: How the fuck did that happen? Maybe the Brits have had more time, centuries in fact, to come to the conclusion, ‘Screw it, it’s all going to work out in a couple hundred years’ time or so. We can take a second and figure out what’s funny. We don’t need to drive a nail through somebody’s toe for the cheap knee-jerk reaction.’ Americans are in a hurry. For what? Damned if I know, maybe we sense the apocalypse, maybe we’ve precipitated the apocalypse with this current administration, and we want to get that damned flat-screen TV now before the world fries to ash, like a burrito left in the microwave for a couple hours.

Here are some things I definitely know about American versus British humour. We find British teeth funny. This was proven with the success of ‘Austin Powers’ and reinforced when Lisa Simpson’s orthodontist showed her ‘The Big Book of British Teeth’. Also we don’t understand jokes about soccer. Or football as you call it. Not that I’m an expert on any sports. What I know about them you could fit on a midget’s shirt button. (Actually the politically correct term is ‘little person’. I have a friend that’s a little person so I know that now. Well she’s not really
a friend, she more like a ‘shag buddy’.)

I don’t know what the British think is funny about Americans. They’re probably too polite to tell me to my face. Here’s something they might
find funny: George Bush says if one more person compares him to Hitler he’s going to gas them. Did you find that funny? They wouldn’t over here. How about this? Two Middle Eastern fathers are comparing pictures of their sons who are terrorists. One of the dads says, ‘Ah, they blow up so fast.’ Do you find that funny?

Here’s something I find funny, yet nobody seems to agree. It seems there is a small cult of goth-type kids that are digging up graves from old cemeteries and dancing with the corpses. They refer to the skeleton as ‘the bride’. I find this hysterical. I do have some questions though. Do they bring music? What is it? Is the body still ripe? People say to me, ‘Hamell, you wouldn’t think that was so funny if that was your father!’ Well, actually, I would. And knowing my father’s sense of humour I can guarantee he’d get a kick out of it too. That having been said, he was cremated, so I’d warn the goths not to make an ash out of themselves.

Which brings me full circle, and why this was so difficult a task. I don’t know what anybody thinks is funny or of quality, or guided by a moral compass any more. I turn on the TV around the globe and see hundreds of thousands, of people laughing, applauding, being entertained by the most mediocre of stuff. And when I say, ‘Gee, this is kind of crap isn’t it?’ they give me a look like I’m cynical or miserable – the guy who wants to urinate in the punchbowl at the party.

I don’t know anybody or talk to anybody that listens to that junk. (Although my brother-in-law recently brought home a girl that claimed to
be a Justin Timberlake fan. I’d never seen one in the flesh and I stared at her as if I was witnessing air flight for the first time.)

I do know, however, what both Americans and the British share that makes the analogy so depressing. That unavoidable variable that never fails to disappoint. We’re all humans. What a nasty disease that is. And I consider myself to be a really ‘up’ guy. Now back to the antidepressants and Benny Hill reruns.

Ed Hamell plays Soho Theatre with ‘Hamell on Trial’ from Feb 12-23.