London Connect

Welcome to my new Seven-Step Plan to Becoming a World-Class Director™. It’s based on the technique developed by rising fringe star Adam Spreadbury-Maher and is guaranteed to bring you massive success. (I also do personal horoscopes. Get in touch if you fancy a reading).

1. Emigrate (optional)

Spreadbury-Maher (S-M) was based in Australia until 2005. ‘Coming to London was a no-brainer. It’s the theatrical capital of the world.’ If you’re already resident here, you can skip this step.

2. Perfect your coffee-making skills

After you’ve done your accredited directing course, you’ll need to do some assisting on professional productions. This can mean a variety of things: for S-M, it ran the gamut from learning to use an espresso machine in Liverpool to running a technical rehearsal in Hampstead. ‘Even if assisting is just about observing, you can learn a huge amount of stuff that can’t be taught in a classroom.’

3. Make an offer they can’t refuse

You’re probably ready to start putting on productions of your own right about now. But that can be an expensive business, even on the fringe, where venue hire alone will set you back around £1,000 a week. So think laterally. S-M went to see Michael Kingsbury at the White Bear and said: ‘You give me three free shows, I’ll give you something back.’ Kingsbury agreed, and S-M put on a trio of fine productions, prompting some great reviews and plenty of full houses. ‘I also installed a new air-conditioning unit!’ Is there no end to this man’s talents?

4. Set up a production company with a memorable name

This is a good way to develop a team of regular collaborators and create a brand. S-M’s company is called ‘Good Night Out Presents’. As he says: ‘It does what it says on the tin – we want to give you a good night out.’

5. Create your very own theatre

You’ve won your spurs as a director and producer: time to up the ante and become an artistic director. To do this, you’ll probably need to set up your own theatre too. S-M found a pub in Kilburn with a function room and made another of his famous offers-you-can’t-refuse. There was serious strategic thinking behind the choice of location: ‘There are five train stations within ten minutes’ walking distance.’

6. Give it a memorable name

Actually, on this occasion S-M inherited the name from the pub itself: The Cock Tavern. ‘You goin’ down the Cock tonight?’ See? Evocative. Edgy. Irresistible.

7. Do something even more outrageously ambitious.

S-M (a trained opera singer – there really is no end to his talents) is producing ‘La Bohème’ at the Cock this Christmas and in the process creating a whole new genre: pub opera. The challenges are obvious, not least, as S-M points out: ‘La Bohème’s got a HUGE chorus and we’re just a 40-seat venue.’ Don’t bet against it being a terrific success.