London

Just a quick read-through of the Edinburgh Festival brochure is normally enough to send the brain into shut-down mode. In its pages thousands of performers clamour for attention, with descriptions ranging from ‘sexy pseudo-dental snog-fest’ (Kiss-In-Burgh) to ‘Communist mice. Terrified, they’re plotting revolution.’ (Mickey Mouse is Dead.) For a critic, sniffing out the real talent here is like hunting for a needle in a haystack filled with bullshit. No matter how big the celebrity, how attention-seeking the title, or how reckless the budget, there are absolutely no guarantees: which is why it’s everybody’s priority to tune into what’s known as ‘The Buzz’. Feature continues

The Buzz’ can be heard almost anywhere if you listen carefully enough for it: it‘s there in the air as people queue for shows, or humming in the beer-smog of chattering bars. To an extent it’s the word-of-mouth that springs up around the shows that genuinely deserve to transfer to London, though you have to be careful about whose mouth the words come from. On more than one occasion I’ve made a pilgrimage to some obscure location on the edges of Edinburgh, only to realise that the recommendation has come from someone with the critical-judgement of an ant on acid.

This year the main buzz is around Gregory Burke’s ‘Blackwatch’ – a piece of verbatim theatre based on interviews with former members of the Blackwatch regiment who served in Iraq - which I will be reviewing in my Edinburgh column next week. But the critics are still on the hunt, and it’s impressive watching some of the old hands rigorously debriefing everyone they encounter, determined to find the the theatrical scoop of the season. Among most of us the competition is fairly even, but it has to be owned that for sheer galloping momentum and determination, no-one can match Lyn Gardner of The Guardian. If the energy she expended at the Edinburgh Festival could be converted into fuel, small countries would fight wars over her.

For other intrepid critics, the Edinburgh Festival creates an arena where they can be part of the buzz at the same time as others follow it. I know of at least two critics who are having their hair cut in ‘Hairdresser in the House’ at Aurora Nova. Another critic has confided to me that he will be appearing in the show at Smirnoff Baby Belly where people take it in turns to read the ‘phone book in ‘The ‘Phone Book Live!’ I have yet to encounter the critic who is prepared to immortalise their passions by kissing someone else with their mouth filled with dental modelling clay. Though on consideration, maybe the biggest story of the Festival would be finding someone prepared to kiss a critic.