London

Fame
North
Genius
Although he was born in Enfield and died in Wimbledon, Sir Joseph Bazalgette’s plaque has been plonked on his house in St John’s Wood (17 Hamilton Terrace, NW8). Bazalgette devised the Victorian sewer system that has stopped London stinking like a cesspit for the last 130 years.
Pontless celeb
We know that Sadie Frost lives in Primrose Hill, but does anybody know what she actually does?

South
Genius
Clever clogs Michael Faraday didn’t let living on the Walworth Road get in the way of becoming ‘possibly the greatest experimental genius the world has ever known’. His discoveries included electromagnetic induction and the laws of electrolysis and he is remembered by way of a big silver box on Elephant & Castle roundabout.
Pointless celeb
Jade Goody was born in Bermondsey and is such a pointless celebrity she spawned a whole new species, the nonebrity: ‘a person who is famous but for such vacuous reasons that she can also be truly classified as a non-entity.’

North wins! Feature continues

Food
North
Chippy
Not for nothing is superior chippy Toff’s on the Broadway known as ‘Muswell Hill’s sole claim to fame’.
Restaurant
Gordon Ramsay’s Maze is north of the river, serves an incredible peanut butter and cherry jam sandwich, and was Time Out’s best new restaurant in 2005.
Curry
Rasa. It may now have a few sister restaurants across
the capital, but the original pink-walled restaurant is still
top dog. The south Indian vegetarian food is fantastic, as is the service.

South
Chippy
Ollie’s in Herne Hill describes itself as a ‘fish experience’, has plenty of space to sit down, and even has a takeaway meal named after our own Guy Dimond.
Restaurant
Chez Bruce. Bruce Poole’s Wandsworth eatery has been serving up immaculate French cusine (with no foody pretensions) for ten years now.
Curry
Radha Krishna Bhavan. Tooting’s finest also specialises in superlative south Indian food, and can easily compete with Rasa on the decor front: orange sunsets, palm trees and full-sized mannequin of a Keralite kathakali dancer. Eat that.

North wins!

Free Publication
North
Camden New Journal was recently made free newspaper of the year and proudly claims to be the best-read paper in north London – more popular than the Metro or Evening Standard. Current headline: ‘Revealed: Pool Plan’.

South
Despite the title, Living South is not aimed at yacht-owning coastal types or roadkill-loving good ol’ boys, but at south London’s discerning consumers of fashionable bars and restaurants. However, it’s mainly read by people obsessed with house prices.

North wins!

Kids' stuff
North
Little Angel Theatre. A magical children’s puppet theatre tucked away on an Islington back street, founded by master puppeteer John Wilkes in the 1960s. It’s unique.

South
Dedicated to quality productions for kids, the Polka Theatre in Wimbledon entertains 100,000
children a year.

South wins!

Hard man
North
Born in Hoxton in 1949, Lenny ‘The Guv’nor’ McLean was an illegal bare-knuckle fighter, bouncer and actor (‘Lock, Stock…’) with an estimated 20,000 bar-room brawls to his name. Clearly insane, he’s now dead.

South
The Krays may have wanted Mad Frankie Fraser to join their firm, but he chose to hook up with the Richardsons. In their manor around Camberwell, he would allegedly do horrible things with teeth and pliers. At the time, the Richardsons getting Fraser was compared to China getting the atom bomb.

South wins!

History
North
Momentous event
The Great Fire of London in 1666 devastated much of London north of the river, while, according to Samuel Pepys, ‘Southerners stood around cheeringe grately and toasting marshmallowes’.
Time of arrival
A hunting camp in Hampstead Heath and a burial plot in Shepperton both date back to the Mesolithic period (c4000 BC). Which is all very impressive, but…

South
Momentous event
Even though south Londoners ruined the Great Exhibition by burning down its last remnant, the Crystal Palace, in 1936, they were given a second chance when asked to host the post-war Festival of Britain. Thousands flocked to see the shape of the future which, strangely, looked just like Lambeth.
Time of arrival
…the area’s oldest resident is a south-of-the-(estuary)river girl – Hedley Swain from the Museum of London reports that a skull has been found in Swanscombe dating to a seriously ancient c450,000BC.

South wins (by 444,000 years)!