London

How to...
Park in W1
Report a rogue cabbie
Put on a brilliant club night
Heckle a comedian and not get punched
Publish a Fanzine
Get the Most Out of your MP
Challenge an ASBO
Get your holiday cheaper (or free)

Feature continues

How to… park in W1
There are 41,000 on-street parking spaces and 5,500 car park spaces within Westminster; but how on earth do you go about getting one? To make life a little easier, Westminster Council has produced the ‘Park Right’ guide. This handy little booklet not only informs you of the dos and don’ts of parking in the city (and to be honest, it’s mostly don’ts), but also includes a map of all available spaces in the eight square-mile area. The Westminster Council website (www.westminster.gov.uk/transportandstreets/parking) has several more maps showing everything from metered bays to roadworks in the borough too. For car parks in the area, see ncp.co.uk.
Unfortunately, the best way to find a spare slot is to pay for it, but even then you can limit the hassle.

If you choose to use a meter and don’t want to keep nipping back to feed the damn thing, aim for the rare ‘four-hour’ ones. There’s a little cluster to the west of Regent Street, on Grosvenor Street, Mount Street, Alford Street and South Street (again, see the council website map).

Another tip that will rescue you if you don’t happen to be stocked up with 20p and pound coins is knowing the few pay and display machines that accept debit and credit cards. Keep your eye out for them on Brooks Mews, Princes Street, Wimpole Street, Harley Street and Soho Square. We’ve also been tipped off that Bedford Square is one of the best places to park in the West End. It’s metered, but not outrageously expensive and often has free berths.

If you do find yourself hunting for the nearest parking space that doesn’t charge, the council has a surprisingly useful 24-hour helpline (020 7823 4567) – it can’t tell you if somebody has already parked there, but should narrow the search.

The only way you’re going to be able to park where you like is if you’re driving an emergency services vehicle or if you’re the Mayor on official duties (both are unlikely). Even diplomats have to obey the rules. Other than that, get a tank. What were you thinking, bringing a car into town anyway?

Go to www.westminster.gov.uk to order a free copy of ‘Park Right’. You can also download a PDF version.

How to… report a rogue cabbie
If a cab whizzes by with its light on, or the driver refuses to take you for no apparent reason, what can you do? Tracey O’Brien from the Public Carriage office says: ‘Drivers are self-employed, so it’s slightly different than with London Underground staff, but there are codes of conduct.’ In theory, drivers are required to accept any fare up to 12 miles (20 miles from Heathrow) within Greater London. O’Brien recommends noting the licence number, which can be found in the back of the cab and on its rear. Then you can complain to the Public Carriage Office (0845 602 7000/ taxi.complaints@pco.org.uk).