London

Kinky coffee

15-minute quickie…
Have an erotic coffee
Coffee, Cake and Kink is the only café gallery in the UK with erotic novels to read over tea and biscuits. The latest photographs adorning the walls are by Lukas Zpira, an internationally renowned body modifier who specialises in shooting freaks, naughty girls and geishas.
Coffee, Cake and Kink, 61 Endell St, WC2 (020 7419 2996).

Game on
Play computer games at Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street for free. This week you can be an American football star with ‘Madden NFL 07’ or a ninja in ‘Ninety-Nine Nights’ (Xbox 360), while next week you’ll be able to crash into trees, buildings and cars in ‘Test Drive Unlimited’ (Xbox 360). Expect huge queues on September 11 when ‘Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy’ comes into the store – take an early lunch for that one.
Virgin Megastore, 14-16 Oxford St, W1(020 7631 1234) Tottenham Court Rd tube.

The Apple Store

Join the Mac brigade
In the Apple Store on Regent Street, you could easily waste 20 minutes playing with the inbuilt laptop cameras alone, while those not already glued to a computer all day will enjoy the free internet. If you have a Mac and don’t know how to wield it, go to one of the store’s numerous workshops on subjects ranging from using basic software and iTunes to advanced filmmaking. All events are free of charge, but for courses and more information on workshops visit www.apple.com/uk/retail/regentstreet.
Apple Store, 235 Regent St, W1 (020 7153 900) Oxford Circus tube. Feature continues

Fopp

Get lost in Fopp
The 20,000 square feet of musical, filmic and literary bliss in this new addition to Tottenham Court Road make it the largest Fopp store in the UK. New releases and most music is on the ground floor, while books and DVDs lie in the basement. Just make sure you can navigate your way to the instore café when it all gets too much.
Fopp, 220-224 Tottenham Court Rd, W1 (0207 299 1640) Tottenham Court Rd tube.

Geting hitched

Get hitched
The average wedding ceremony takes well under an hour, so why not make your vows instead of munching on a ciabatta? You might even have time for a quick one before work beckons again. If you don’t want to fork out 20,000 big ones for the occasion, you can tie the knot at Islington town hall for £103.50, which includes the £30 marriage certificate.
Islington and London City Register Office, Islington Town Hall, Upper Street, N1 (020 7527 6350/www.islington.gov.uk) Angel tube.

Catch a lunchtime gig
After a day slaving away in the office, the thought of standing next to a speaker at the Astoria can be unbearable, so why not catch a midday performance in quieter and more intimate surroundings? Instore gigs have become core to a band’s marketing, so most of the retail giants – like Oxford Street’s HMV and Virgin Megastore, Fopp and some independent record shops, such as Rough Trade records, Banquet Records, and Pure Groove – regularly host a wide variety of bands and artists. Check the websites for gig announcements.
www.hmv.co.uk
www.virginmegastores.co.uk
www.roughtrade.com
www.banquetrecords.com
www.puregroove.co.uk

Get checked out
If your nocturnal activities have been a bit on the naughty side recently, you can use your lunch hour to get an STI test out of the way. Get a free HIV screening in under an hour on Thursdays at the John Hunter Clinic or, if you are a gay man, on Tuesdays from 9-11pm with one-hour results for HIV antibody testing. Both are by appointment only. Boots also gives out free chlamydia tests, which you can complete and drop back at lunchtime, receiving your results by phone later in the week.
The John Hunter Clinic, 369 Fulham Rd, SW10 (020 8846 6154) South Kensington tube.

Picture perfect
A short walk from Leicester Square tube, The Photographers’ Gallery is a sleek and sophisticated way to exploit those precious lunching minutes. One of the leading galleries for contemporary photography, it’s now exhibiting a range of stills from Michael Antonioni’s Swinging ’60s film ‘Blowup’ and a chilling collection of snaps from the 140-year-old London Fire Brigade archive. Admission is free and there’s a bookshop and café to use up any extra seconds. For weekend late-lunchers, at 3pm on September 9 Marketa Uhlirova will be giving a free talk on the relationship between fashion and the media in the ’60s.
The Photographers’ Gallery, 5 & 8 Great Newport St, WC2 (020 7831 177/www.photonet.org.uk) Leicester Square tube.

The Hoff signs books

Meet an author
Get your photo taken with a celeb writer at a Borders book signing – the only catch is that you have to buy the book to be signed. The next star to visit the Oxford Street branch is Germany’s favourite skin-tight leather-wearing cheesemeister David Hasselhoff, who’ll be signing copies of his autobiography, ‘Making Waves’, from 12 noon until 2pm on Monday September 11. Borders warns it’s best to arrive early to avoid disappointment.
Borders, 203 Oxford St, W1 (020 7292 1600) Oxford Circus tube.

Achieve Nirvana
Weekly, free half-hour meditation classes take place on Monday lunchtimes at The Community Room, Wood Green Central Library, and are open to both beginners and advanced meditators. There is no booking needed and courses resume on September 4 until December 11. The West London Buddhist Centre also offers a free lunchtime class (1-2pm) for those who don’t know their korma from their karma.
The Community Room, Wood Green Central Library, High Rd, N22 (020 8455 7563/ www.meditateinlondon.com) Wood Green tube.
West London Buddhist Centre, 94 Westbourne Park Villas, W2 (020 7727 9382/www.westlondonbuddhistcentre.com) Royal Oak tube.

Kensington Gardens

Go for a brisk walk
Have a stroll through idyllic Kensington Gardens, stopping at the Serpentine Gallery on your way through. Admission is free and Rem Koolhaas’s futuristic pavilion will be around until October 15. Serpentine Gallery, Kensington Garden, W2 (020 7402 6075) South Kensington tube.Play your own gigIf you’re sitting at your desk dreaming of rock ‘n’ roll stardom, make a start – and even earn a few bucks – by busking in your lunch hour. Nearly 400 buskers provide 3,000 hours of weekly live music on the tube – more impressive than screeching out karaoke to a few drunks in your local on a Tuesday night. Buskers are vetted by sponsors Carling, so don’t apply if your voice resembles a bunged-up Britney Spears. You can download an application from www.tfl.gov.uk/tube/arts/busking.