Your critical guide to arts, culture and going out in the capital

  • 101 things to do before you leave London

  • By Time Out editors

  • Have a right old cockney knees-up... and 100 other unmissable experiences. From gastronomic delights to hidden parks, sexual shenanigans to cultural must-sees, here's our indispensable guide to the things you simply must do before leaving London!

  • See 101 more things to do before you leave London

    1 The knees-up
    Jimmy, genuine pearly king of Camberwell, says… First, you need an all right boozer. You don’t always need a piano like we’ve got here, but it helps. You need pie and mash, jellied eels, cockles and plenty of booze. I don’t drink bitter, it’s a horrible bleeding drink, so I’ll have a lager. The old girls’ll have a stout and the women’ll have gin or Babycham. Years ago, every Friday night there was a knees-up, but it’s a dying art now.

    Most of the old cockney pubs are now yuppie bars. You might get frog’s legs but they won’t have seen a jellied eel in donkey’s years. I can eat jellies and cockles till they’re coming out my ears, but I don’t like whelks and winkles. I tried a whelk a few years back and it took me half-an-hour to eat it; it’s like chewing an inner tube.
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    I do a singing act for the oldies – ‘Lambeth Walk’, ‘Maybe it’s Because I’m a Londoner’, ‘Take Your Mince Pies off My Bristols’. You don’t have to sing in tune. I learnt my songs outside the Hen and Chicken on East Street in Walworth and the bloke on the piano played like he wore boxing gloves. You can’t sing cockney like Robbie Williams or Freddie Mercury – it just ain’t right. You’ve got to belt it out.

    These are folk songs; some of them go back to Dickens’s time. But youngsters aren’t interested in our culture. There’s only 30 of us going out there preaching the pearly gospel and in another 20 or 30 years that’ll be the end of the knees-up.
    Thanks to William IV, 7 Shepherdess Walk, N1 (020 3119 3012) For donations to Jim’s Donkey Care Centre, visit www.genuinelondonpearlykingsandqueens.co.uk

    2 Dine out at the dogs
    You have to book a few weeks in advance, but there are two sit-down restaurants overlooking the dog track at Walthamstow Stadium. Fritter money on the puppies while you eat – and it’s got to be scampi.
    Paddock Grill & Stowaway Grill, Walthamstow Stadium, Chingford Rd, E4 (www.wsgreyhound.co.uk) Walthamstow Central tube.

    3 Get classical in a crypt
    Listen to classical music by candlelight at St Martin-in-the-Fields (Thursdays to Saturdays, and alternate Tuesdays, 7.30pm). The evening performances are worth the entry fee; lunchtime recitals are free.
    St Martin-in-the-Fields, Trafalgar Square, WC2 (020 7839 8362/www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org) Charing Cross tube/rail.

    4 Buy a brand new skin at Brown’s Hotel
    A combination of dry skin buffing, filing, clipping and scrubbing, with a soothing foot and leg massage, nail conditioning, and polishing. Pure luxury for £60.
    Brown’s Hotel, Albemarle St,W1 (020 7493 6020/www.brownshotel.com) Green Park tube.

    5 Get instant karma
    Visit the beautiful Kyoto Gardens in Holland Park. The bridge at the foot of a waterfall is one of the city’s most peaceful spots.
    Holland Park tube.

    6 Go night fishing
    Anyone can dangle their rod in the pond on Clapham Common, but check the website to make sure there are no competitions taking place.
    (www.claphamangling.co.uk) Clapham Common tube.

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17 comments

  1. Posted by mel on 04 May 2008 10:45

    Cool list, and to ignorant person who left neg comment about gay bowling, maybe its for gay people who love bowling and want to meet other gay people and socialise....duhhhh! I think its a cool idea.

  2. Posted by Northman on 03 May 2008 18:16

    Great list, but why in the hell would I want to go Gay Bowling. Gimme a break!

  3. Posted by Tatian on 20 Mar 2008 17:44

    thenks for the imfo it really helped me on my report and its not like i wnated to do it in the first place:P

  4. Posted by Andy on 17 Mar 2008 16:14

    Wow! You hardly surprise a Roman but in this case you definitely did it!!! bravi!!!
    Thanks for the suggestions

  5. Posted by Vulprincess The Warrior on 14 Feb 2008 23:06

    i'm doing a report on things to do in london this really helped thanks!

  6. Posted by Rebekah o'connell on 07 Feb 2008 14:19

    people rock!

  7. Posted by Phyllis Manus on 06 Feb 2008 22:08

    London is awesome!

  8. Posted by alex on 22 Jan 2008 15:48

    why u go why ladybug

  9. Posted by ladybug on 26 Nov 2007 13:49

    Great! I've lived in the UK for 5 years and will be leaving soon. I will definitely check out some of these things!
    Time is getting short! :(

  10. Posted by catherine on 16 Oct 2007 11:28

    after reading this, suddenly i'm inspired about being in london!

  11. Posted by sarah on 10 Oct 2007 16:48

    It's a great site

  12. Posted by max on 21 Sep 2007 12:53

    hi people

  13. Posted by rayna_bum on 03 Sep 2007 04:17

    i totally dig this site!!

  14. Posted by Grace on 29 Jul 2007 13:01

    /index.

  15. Posted by Brad on 05 Dec 2006 22:28

    Brad is you possibly can, check the list of 101 things to do in London before you leave. Try get it printed out if you can. I think we should try to do as much as possible and create a scraptbook, hehe.

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