London

Circus performers
Whether you’re looking to be enthralled, amused or shocked, Impact Artists has a wide range of performers who you hire to add some spark to parties or other events (including Bastard Son of Tommy Cooper – ‘the world’s only sword swallowing, blood spurting, masochistic Welsh magician’). There are magicians, acrobats, lookalikes and stilt-walkers – more than enough to keep you entertained on a rainy Sunday.
Prices on request (www.impactartists.co.uk).

Karaoke
What was once the preserve of local pubs or upstairs rooms in sushi bars can now be enjoyed in your front room. London Karaoke will set up the machine (plus disco lights), and even, should you wish, supply a host for the evening. All you need is enough idiots foolish or drunk enough to belt out renditions of ‘9 to 5’ or Boston’s ‘More Than a Feeling’. Strangely – or perhaps brilliantly – the same company also deals in bouncy castles.
London Karaoke (020 7241 4660/www.londonkaraoke.co.uk). Feature continues

Mobile clubbing
The Miniscule of Sound is in ‘The Guinness Book of Records’ as the world’s smallest nightclub. Starting out in 1998 in east London back garden, it has since travelled around the world. It arrives in flatpack form and, when assembled, its eight by four by eight-foot interior features fluffy decor, flashing lights and a ‘Saturday Night Fever’-style dancefloor. The management claims it now also features an outside ‘bar’ (‘okay – facility for serving free drinks’) and cloakroom (‘no responsibility taken, only wallets’). If you’re looking for something more substantial, there’s a searchable directory of mobile discos at www.uk-disco.co.uk (prices vary according to how big a bash you want). The site also offers discount glow sticks.
Miniscule of Sound (www.minisculeofsound.com).

Free raving
Damian Lazarus’s ace electro label Crosstown Rebels is running a competition to win a rave in your home, complete with a squadron of DJs and live acts, a top-end soundsystem and a free bar. All you’ve got to do to stand a chance of winning is buy a copy of ‘Crosstown Rebels Vol 01’. (£8.99 from HMV, Amazon and all good music outlets).
Crosstown Rebels (www.crosstownrebels.com).

Put a record on
Vinyl is allegedly making another comeback, but unfortunately old LPs are not exactly compatible with the iPod revolution. Fortunately the Ion iTT will smoothly convert your records to CD or MP3 format, using a turntable connected to a USB lead – all you need is a PC or Mac. Delivery is free.
£119 from www.decks.co.uk

House swaps
If you’re still not having fun yet, maybe you’re in the wrong house. So why not swap it? Multi-faceted website Craigslist has a plethora of homeowners (many of them American) looking to trade homes temporarily for holidays or business. At time of going to press, there were offers of trades of London flats for a townhouse in Philadelphia, an apartment in New York or a two-bed condo in Washington DC. It’s probably the ideal holiday for agoraphobics.
Craig’s List (london.craigslist.org/swp).

Uber-TV
You can make the most of your new high-definition-ready LCD or plasma TV (now down to £699 for a Samsung 42-inch at timeuk.com) by upgrading your Sky+ box to a Sky HD one. Not only does it make the picture on your existing channels that bit sharper, but you also get to indulge in around a dozen true high-definition channels, including BBC HD, Sky Sports, Sky Movies and a clutch of documentary channels. Believe us, once you’ve seen ‘Planet Earth’ in razor-sharp high definition, you may never leave your sofa again – ever. The box costs £300, installation is £60, plus you’ll need to take out a £10 monthly subscription. Sky is also planning to launch an ‘on demand’ serice.
(www.sky.com/ 08702 40 40 40).

Guns
Secretly, all men still want to muck about on the setee playing Cowboys and Indians, and through grown-up toyshop Firebox, they can. This website is loaded with various types of crossbows, shotguns and cannons that fire a range of indoor-friendly, harmless bullets. Our favourites, however, are the Shocking Laser Guns (£24.95): you and a ‘friend’ each have a gun and a panel on your chest – a direct hit to the panel delivers an electric shock (a mild one, obviously).
Firebox (www.firebox.com).