London

Eastenders

Taxi! and London Cabbie
(1960s, Ariel & 1971, Intellect)
Taxi! was the first of a number of games based on the idea that it would be a lot more fun negotiating London’s torturous traffic via a wooden board than in real life. Compete with rival cabbies as you transport passengers around a virtual London cityscape. The frivolous ’60s vibe is surprisingly unirritating. A decade later came the more po-faced London Cabbie, featuring a much more detailed map of London.
Special features One of Taxi!’s passengers was Susan Scantly the model, whose outfits became more and more revealing as the years passed.
Should include A Tottenham kit air-freshener for the virtual rear-view mirror.
Map quality Taxi!’s board was accurate but cartoony; London Cabbie was more precise, but still deemed much of south London an irrelevance.
Verdict 6/10 Feature continues

The Dickens Game
(1983, Milton Bradley)
This literary game requires you to move between ye olde pubs collecting enough characters to complete six chapters of a Dickens novel.
Special features It was designed by the great-great-great-grandaughter of Charlie himself. Counters are miniature busts of Dickens.
Should include A bowl of gruel.
Map quality Unspecific.
Verdict Brainy but dull. 3/10

EastEnders and Only Fools And Horses
(1988, San Serif & 1990, Paul Lamond)
One might be accidental, but two games based on 1980s BBC TV programmes smacks of provocation. OFAH requires you to race around a Monopoly-style board like a plonker looking to raise a million, while EastEnders sees you negotiate a series of ‘dilemmas’ as experienced by characters from the show.
Special features ‘You don’t have to be Einstein to have a go, but you’ll have to use your “loaf!” ’ claims the box with faux-cockney cheer.
Should include A refund of the licence fee.
Map quality None for OFAH; a cartoonish Albert Square for ’Enders.
Verdict As piss-poor as every other TV tie-in. 1/10 for both.

Jack The Ripper
(1983, Sleuth Publications)
Yippee, a game about serial killing! This chin-strokingly serious two-player game lets you take the role of either a copper or a ripper in a demented game of cat-and-mouse.
Special features You’ve got to love a game that includes a ‘Bloody Corpse’ counter.
Should include A whore’s kidney.
Map quality Forensic take on Whitechapel, c1888.
Verdict Tasteless but impressive. 8/10

Destination London!
(2004, RTL Games)
Oh look, it’s a game in which you negotiate London’s torturous traffic via a wooden board, allowing you to take on rival cabbies. Invented by former cab driver Rachel Lowe, the concept was turned down on ‘Dragon’s Den’ but become Hamleys’ Christmas hit of 2004.
Special features Since expanded to Destination New York!, Destination Delhi! and Destination Brighton and Hove!
Should include More exclamation marks!
Map quality Okay, but…
Verdict …haven’t we seen this before? 5/10

All the featured games are available at eBay.co.uk