London

As a rule, internet dramas are rubbish. Sets range from community halls made up as office boardrooms to community halls given a makeover as a church. The acting is more wooden than most of the fake backdrops, and you’d get more people at a ‘We Love The Inland Revenue’ rally than one of their crowd scenes.

Unfortunately, they’re not as bin-worthy as my attempt to dress for a part in one. ‘Are these your only shoes?’ asks the wardrobe lady on forthcoming online drama ‘Sofia’s Diary’. She surveys my outfit for a bit part as a psychology teacher with a rictus more appropriate to the inspection of a soiled nappy. ‘And don’t you have a different belt?’ What’s wrong with my belt? ‘Don’t worry,’ offers the make-up artist. ‘At least we can make your hair look less like you hang out in Shoreditch.’
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The new daily three-minute-long video-blog style installations are based around the life of 17-year-old Sofia: sent to live with her estranged father in London as a punishment. They air on teen social network Bebo and are based on a Portuguese format which attracted 200,000 visitors per month online. Along with MySpace’s recently NBC-acquired ‘Quarterlife’ and Bebo’s eight million-viewed ‘KateModern’, ‘Sofia’s Diary’ is one of the internet’s drama success stories thus far. Viewers get the weekly opportunity to vote on the plot direction, à la ‘KateModern’, which attracted a lot of critical chatter despite falling into the typical internet drama pitfalls. With most stablemates relying on interactivity to lure in viewers rather than programming quality, it’s easy to be suspicious about the show.

‘You’re absolutely right,’ laughs director Manny Bonnett. ‘You can call [other shows] cinema verité, or you can say they don’t light them. I want to show you can use high production values, with filmic language telling the story.’

Nice idea, shame about my acting abilities. With a school-play past that saw me knock the star of the show into a backdrop on the opening-night, things don’t bode well. Loitering sheepishly by a whiteboard with a side-parting, and dressed in a baggy M&S jumper and button-down shirt, I watch lighting fiddle with high-watt lamps and art direction whisking leather folio wallets onto desks. Trendy tweenage extras file in as the crew turn a corner of a (wait for it) community hall into a classroom. The nod comes from Manny to begin. ‘Hold it!’ someone yells. ‘Art direction, can we get some more product placement on these desks?’

It’s not just TV execs that have noticed the appeal that internet drama has for young viewers. ‘KateModern’ had Microsoft, Orange, Paramount and Atlantic Records products lurking within, and ‘Sofia’s Diary’ looks to follow suit. ‘It will become the norm,’ opines Manny. ‘The fact that these projects will become successes will mean that you’ll get people like Nike doing “Basketball Diaries”.’

Multicoloured drinks bottles are rushed into position, and we’re off. A clapperboard is snapped in front of my face, someone yells ‘Action!’ and I’m stumbling through my lines: muttering about perception as I illegibly scrawl ‘Sensation’ on a whiteboard. At least I’ve got the handwriting sorted.

‘Yeah, not bad,’ yells Manny from behind the camera, ‘but try it with some authority this time.’ We roll again, with me opting for the shouty mania of a patronising ‘demon headmaster’, as I attempt to list the five senses. The camera pans to focus in on Sofia (Rachel Hyde-Harvey), whose part in this scene involves a lingering glance through the doorway. She gazes wistfully, outacting me without even uttering a line. Unfortunately, she can’t work out which way to walk off set.

‘Alexi, you’re really holding it together for me here,’ yells Manny as we prepare for another take. ‘You’ve got everything spot on!’ He’s joking, of course, but by this stage my ego’s swelling. I half-improvise my lines, making my character ever more patronising and awkward as I imagine the showbiz bashes I’ll be attending when my acting career takes off. Part nailed.

I exit to a flurry of mock congratulation. ‘I’ll definitely be calling my casting agent and looking to work with you again,’ grins Manny as he waves me off. Yep, this acting lark’s for me all right. Pondering my natural talent, I strut away, contemplating future fees. ‘I notice you fluffed your lines there,’ the programme’s PR rep approaches me. What? ‘Yeah, you counted “sound” and “hearing” as two different senses.’ Maybe I won’t give up the day job just yet.

Catch 'Sofia's Diary' on Friday March 14 2008, www.bebo.com/sofiasdiary