London

See 101 more things to do before you leave London

1 The knees-up
Jimmy, genuine pearly king of Camberwell, says… First, you need an all right boozer. You don’t always need a piano like we’ve got here, but it helps. You need pie and mash, jellied eels, cockles and plenty of booze. I don’t drink bitter, it’s a horrible bleeding drink, so I’ll have a lager. The old girls’ll have a stout and the women’ll have gin or Babycham. Years ago, every Friday night there was a knees-up, but it’s a dying art now.

Most of the old cockney pubs are now yuppie bars. You might get frog’s legs but they won’t have seen a jellied eel in donkey’s years. I can eat jellies and cockles till they’re coming out my ears, but I don’t like whelks and winkles. I tried a whelk a few years back and it took me half-an-hour to eat it; it’s like chewing an inner tube.

I do a singing act for the oldies – ‘Lambeth Walk’, ‘Maybe it’s Because I’m a Londoner’, ‘Take Your Mince Pies off My Bristols’. You don’t have to sing in tune. I learnt my songs outside the Hen and Chicken on East Street in Walworth and the bloke on the piano played like he wore boxing gloves. You can’t sing cockney like Robbie Williams or Freddie Mercury – it just ain’t right. You’ve got to belt it out.

These are folk songs; some of them go back to Dickens’s time. But youngsters aren’t interested in our culture. There’s only 30 of us going out there preaching the pearly gospel and in another 20 or 30 years that’ll be the end of the knees-up.
Thanks to William IV, 7 Shepherdess Walk, N1 (020 3119 3012) For donations to Jim’s Donkey Care Centre, visit www.genuinelondonpearlykingsandqueens.co.uk

2 Dine out at the dogs
You have to book a few weeks in advance, but there are two sit-down restaurants overlooking the dog track at Walthamstow Stadium. Fritter money on the puppies while you eat – and it’s got to be scampi.
Paddock Grill & Stowaway Grill, Walthamstow Stadium, Chingford Rd, E4 (www.wsgreyhound.co.uk) Walthamstow Central tube.

3 Get classical in a crypt
Listen to classical music by candlelight at St Martin-in-the-Fields (Thursdays to Saturdays, and alternate Tuesdays, 7.30pm). The evening performances are worth the entry fee; lunchtime recitals are free.
St Martin-in-the-Fields, Trafalgar Square, WC2 (020 7839 8362/www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org) Charing Cross tube/rail.

4 Buy a brand new skin at Brown’s Hotel
A combination of dry skin buffing, filing, clipping and scrubbing, with a soothing foot and leg massage, nail conditioning, and polishing. Pure luxury for £60.
Brown’s Hotel, Albemarle St,W1 (020 7493 6020/www.brownshotel.com) Green Park tube.

5 Get instant karma
Visit the beautiful Kyoto Gardens in Holland Park. The bridge at the foot of a waterfall is one of the city’s most peaceful spots.
Holland Park tube.

6 Go night fishing
Anyone can dangle their rod in the pond on Clapham Common, but check the website to make sure there are no competitions taking place.
(www.claphamangling.co.uk) Clapham Common tube.

Speed along the Thames on a RIB

7 Moonwalk
This night-time walk in early summer is a great way to see a different side of the city – by moonlight – while raising money for charity.
(www.walkthewalk.org)

8 Play London skittles
Try to knock down nine pins with a 10lb ‘cheese’ (more a wedge than a ball). This historic London game is nearing extinction – play it to save it!
Freemasons Arms, 32 Downshire Hill, NW3 (020 7433 6811) Belsize Park tube.

9 Play London fives
Another game under threat. Sometimes called ‘East End darts’, this uses a board with 12 numbers instead of 20.
Palm Tree, 127 Grove Rd, E3 (020 8980 2918) Mile End tube.

10 Run (or watch) the London Marathon
(www.london-marathon.co.uk)

11 Fly a kite on the Heath
On the top of Parliament Hill, or the large open area towards the swimming pool. But watch your step.
Hampstead tube/Hampstead Heath rail.

12 Speed along the Thames
Cruise at 30 knots in a 12-seater RIB (ridged inflatable boat). Trips are daily from Waterloo Millennium Pier at quarter past the hour from 11.15am until 4.15pm and cost £26 (£16 for children 12 years and under).
London RIB Voyages (www.londonribvoyages.com) Waterloo tube/rail or Embankment tube.

13 Row on the Serpentine
Rent one of the 110 boats and pedalos (available from March to October and have fun messing about on the oldest boating lake in the capital.
Hyde Park Corner tube.

14 Catch the Bard on grass
The open-air theatre in Regent’s Park is perfect for summery Shakespeare romps. They tend to be popular so book well in advance.
Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park, NW1 (www.openairtheatre.org) Baker St tube.

15 Be a groundling at the Globe
Stay on your feet and catch a historically authentic performance in the reconstructed theatre; the original burned down in 1613. Plays take place from May until Spetember.
Shakespeare’s Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1 (020 7401 9919/www.shakespeares-globe.org) London Bridge tube/rail.

16 Spend Friday at the flicks
Tickets are £1 on ‘feel good Fridays’ at the Prince Charles. That’s a whole day of films for the price of one multiplex ticket.
Prince Charles Cinema, 7 Leicester Place,
WC2 (020 7494 3654/ www.princecharlescinema.com) Leicester Square tube.

Head for the heights at Tate Modern

17 Share a bottle with a lover
Hide away in the furthest recesses of Gordon’s, a crumbling candlelit warren of a drinking den.
Gordon’s Wine Bar, 47 Villier’s St, WC2 (020 7930 1408/www.gordonswinebar.com) Embankment tube.

18 Watch the Great River Race
This annual race takes place in September on the Thames along a 22-mile course from Ham House in Richmond to Greenwich, and features more than 260 ‘traditional’ boats, from Chinese dragon boats to Viking longboats. Less
po-faced than the Oxbridge race – and much more colourful.
(www.greatriverrace.co.uk)

19 Hear angels sing
Westminster Cathedral has some of the best choristers in the world, who sing daily at morning mass (10.30am) and evening prayers (3.30pm).
Westminster Cathedral, Victoria St, SW1 (020 7798 9055/www.westminstercathedral.org.uk) Victoria tube/rail.

20 Play golf in the streets
At the Shoreditch Open in late May. Negotiate an 18-hole, par 72 course through the streets of east London, using a leather golf ball (to prevent window breakages) and fire hydrant covers for holes. Apply online to participate.
(www.sgcgolf.com)

21 Munch on whelks
Our favourite stall is Tubby Isaacs in Aldgate, first established in 1919. Just add vinegar.
Tubby Isaacs, outside the Aldgate Exchange pub, Petticoat Lane Market, corner of Goulston St & Middlesex St, E1. Aldgate tube.

22 Get hot and sweaty at a gig
Jumping about with grimy teenagers in Camden – virtually a rite-of-passage in London.
The Barfly, 49 Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 (0870 907 0999/www.barflyclub.com) Camden Town tube.

23 Chuckle at cartoons
At the Cartoon Museum in Bloomsbury, visitors can’t help but laugh out loud at works by artists from Hogarth and Gillray to Thelwell, Steadman and Matt.
Cartoon Museum, 35 Little Russell St, WC1 (020 7580 8155/www.cartooncentre.com) Tottenham Court Rd tube.

24 Scratch your head at Sir John Soane’s
An eclectic and fascinating collection of sculptures, paintings, antiquities, jewellery and other bits and pieces collected by the architect.
Sir John Soane’s Museum, 13 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, WC2 (020 7405 2107/www.soane.org) Holborn tube.

25 Get a taste for heights at the Tate
For a free adrenalin rush, press your face against the glass on the fifth floor. Now look down.
Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 (020 7401 5120/www.tate.org.uk) Blackfriars or Southwark tube.

26 Buy a bagel from a Golders Green deli
Daniel’s Bagel Bakery, 12-13 Hallswelle Parade, Finchley Rd, NW11 (020 8455 5826) Golders Green tube.

27 Eye up the walrus
Sneak down to Forest Hill for what might be (whisper it) London’s best museum – the Horniman. Skeletons, pickled animals, model insects and Egyptian mummies, and the star attraction – an enormous stuffed walrus. Don’t miss the mesmerising jellyfish in the new aquarium or the Apostles clock chiming at 4pm.
Horniman Museum, 100 London Rd, SE23 (020 8699 1872/www.horniman.ac.uk) Forest Hill rail.

Is it a bus, is it a boat? London by DUCK

28 Take the Duck Tour
We turn down an alley hidden alongside Terry Farrell’s MI6 building in Vauxhall, pass through a security gate and then motor down a short slipway. The vehicle jolts as the wheels come off the cobbles and on to the Thames-side shingle, then shudders as it plunges into the brown water. The windscreen slumps downwards, towards the domain of abandoned Saxon swords, cut-up bodies and rusting Ford Cortinas beneath the river’s choppy surface.

I expect to get wet but thankfully the windscreen comes up as sharply as it had gone down and the vehicle remains buoyant. As it should, for this is exactly what it was designed to do. Furthermore it was designed to do it while several angry Germans were shooting at it.
I am in a DUKW, a half-truck/half-boat, amphibious military vehicle built by the American General Motors Corporation to ferry men and supplies on to the Normandy beachhead on D-Day.

It has less testing duties now, merely taking 30 passengers a time on an unusual trip along the river we spend so much of our lives ignoring.
Rebranded as a DUCK, the vehicle has been painted yellow and there are seats where previously terrified soldiers had only standing room, but despite these cosmetic changes the vehicle still has an atmosphere of great deeds about it.

Sixty-two years later war is still with us, most obviously in the shape of the MI6 building, espionage Legoland for the secret side of modern conflict that looms brashly above the water. But as we chug east it is an older building that brings home present conflicts in an uneasy way. In the water alongside the Houses of Parliament bob a series of hi-tech buoys bearing orange metal spikes and blinking surveillance equipment. ‘If you get too close,’ says the man next to me, ‘they release torpedoes.’ He’s joking, of course. Michael Hodges
(www.londonducktours.co.uk/ 020 7928 3132)

29 Get a full head of steam
London’s only steam railway; Sundays at Kew Bridge Steam Museum (Mar-Nov).
Kew Bridge Steam Museum, Green Dragon Lane, Brentford, Middx (020 8568 4757/www.kbsm.org) Gunnersbury tube/rail or Kew Bridge rail.

30 Shop for tobacco
G Smith & Sons has hardly changed since it opened in 1869. Fill a pouch.
Smith & Sons, 74 Charing Cross Rd, WC2 (020 7836 7422) Leicester Square tub.

Tea at The Wolseley

31 Get your eyebrows threaded
…by expert Vaishaly Patel.
Initial consultation and session £70. Subsequent sessions £40. Vaishaly Patel London, 51 Paddington St, W1U 4HR (020 7224 6088).

32 Spend a day at the Bliss spa
Deep sea detox £130. Bliss London, 60 Sloane Ave London SW3 3DD (020 7584 3888).

35 Spend Sunday afternoon watching French films
Ciné Lumière, Institut Français, 17 Queensberry Place, SW7 2DT (020 7073 1350/www.institut-francais.org.uk) South Kensington tube.

36 Go gay bowling
Ten-pin bowling for gay men and women, fortnightly at the Trocadero. £7.95 per game.
Funland, Trocadero, 1 Piccadilly Circus, W1 (www.myspace.com/strikelondon).

37 Take afternoon tea
Order cake and a pot for two for an old-fashioned afternoon at The Wolseley, a stunning Piccadilly restaurant, inspired by a grand Viennese café.
The Wolseley, 160 Piccadilly, W1J (020 7499 6996/www.thewolseley.com) Green Park tube.

38 Have a gas clubbing
The latest craze on the cabaret scene is laughing gas handed out by girls on rollerskates. Get your giggles at Late Late Lunch (it’s legal!).
www.myspace.com/latelatelunch

39 Pamper yourself all day
Bliss London, 60 Sloane Ave, SW3 (020 7584 3888/www.blisslondon.co.uk) South Ken tube.

40 Check out the city from the crest of Parliament Hill
Best visited at sunrise or sunset. Hampstead tube/Hampstead Heath rail.

41 Read in the shadow of the King George collection
This towering black storage facility in the British Library houses its priciest tomes and overlooks the tranquil entrance hall and the attractive – if pricey – café.
British Library, 96 Euston Rd, NW1 (0870 444 1500/www.bl.uk) King’s Cross tube/rail.

42 Ride the DLR from the front
Push the kids out the way and pretend you’re the driver. Because kids can’t drive trains.
www.tfl.gov.uk/dlr

43 Take a dip on the Heath
For those who like their swimming bracing.
Hampstead Heath Ponds, Hampstead Heath, NW5 (020 7485 4491) Hampstead tube/Hampstead Heath rail.

Chelsea Physic Garden

44 Discover the glorious Chelsea Physic Garden
A true secret garden in the city; public opening hours are restricted.
Chelsea Physic Garden, 66 Royal Hospital Rd, SW3 (0207376 3910/www.chelseaphysicgarden.co.uk) South Kensington tube.

45 Eat Vietnamese in Hackney
The long-standing Huong-Viet seems to get better and better with age.
Huong-Viet, An Viet House, 12-14 Englefield Rd, N1 (020 7249 0877) 67, 149, 236, 242, 243 bus.

46 Bag a seat for a banger race
Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane, SW17 (0870 840 8905/www.wimbledonstadium.co.uk) Haydons Rd rail.

47 Make your MP show you the Houses of Parliament
They have to say yes. Don’t miss Westminster Hall, one of Europe’s finest medieval buildings.
Houses of Parliament, Parliament Square, SW1 (0870 906 3773/www.parliament.uk) Westminster tube.

48 Witness the drama of a big case at the Old Bailey
The public is welcome to visit; a notice by the front door gives details of forthcoming trials.
Central Criminal Court Corner of Newgate St & Old Bailey, EC4 (020 7248 3277) St Paul’s tube.

49 Enjoy cabaret terrorism
David Hoyle, aka the Divine David’s, ferocious and funny live performance covers a range of topics. Each week takes a different theme. But hurry, it ends on December 5.Tuesdays, 8pm, £5.
‘Magazine’, Royal Vauxhall Tavern, SE11 (020 7820 1222) Vauxhall tube/rail.

50 Go loco over a Portuguese football derby
In the bars around South Lambeth Road, things get a little noisy. Check upocoming fixtures on the BBC website.
Bar Estrela, 111-115 South Lambeth Rd, SW8 (020 7793 1051) Vauxhall tube/rail.

51 Be a nosy neighbour during Open House London week
An annual mid-September event that gives architecture lovers free access to more than 500 fascinating buildings all over the capital.
(www.openhouselondon.org/ 09001 600 061, 60p per minute).

52 Make a Royal Guard Laugh
Find out what happened when Time Out donned a glasses-nose-'tache combo and tried to crack the Queen's guards!

Crack of dawn at Billingsgate Market

53 Riff away on Denmark Street
Look out for unimpressed, snooty staff in the guitar shops – and make them pay with a fumbled rendition of ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’.
Denmark St, WC2. Tottenham Court Rd tube.

54 Celebrate the Chinese New Year in Chinatown
Lion and dragon teams perform traditional dances and there are, of course, firework displays (at lunchtime and at 5pm). It all takes place in late January/early February.
Gerrard St, W1. Leicester Square tube.

55 Play chess in a pub
The London equivalent of an alfresco game in New York’s Central Park. The Harrison in King’s Cross has plenty of boards, and runs a weekly competition (Monday 6-7pm).
The Harrison, 28 Harrison St, WC1 (020 7916 3113) King’s Cross tube/rail.

56 Get up early for Billingsgate Market
Buy cheap fish, or just enjoy the foul language.Billingsgate Market, Trafalgar Way, E14 (020 7987 1118) Poplar DLR. Open Tue-Sat 5-8.30am.

57 Laugh at old toys in Pollock’s Toy Museum
Take in tin toys, teddy bears and more.
Pollock’s Toy Museum, 1 Scala St (entrance Whitfield St), W1 (020 7636 3452/www.pollockstoymuseum.com) Goodge St tube.

58 Survive a royal gun salute
This deafening British display of pageantry happens on a handful of dates every year, when the King’s Troop Royal Horse Artillery makes a mounted charge through Hyde Park, sets up guns and fires a 41-gun salute. It occurs at noon on Accession Day (February 6), the Queen’s two birthdays (April 12, June 17), Remembrance Sunday (November 12) and other special days.

59 Get sweaty over Indian food in Southall
Or Wembley, or Harrow. These three are great:
Dadima, 228 Ealing Rd, Wembley, Middx,
HA0 4QL (020 8902 1072) Alperton tube.
Madhu’s, 39 South Rd, Southall, Middx, UB1 1SW (020 8574 1897/www.madhusonline.com) Southall rail.
Ram’s, 203 Kenton Rd, Harrow, Middx, HA3 0HD (020 8907 2022) Kenton Rd tube.

60 Land on Eel Pie Island
Or just ponder its place in rock history from a pleasant pub across the river.
The White Swan, Riverside, Twickenham, Middx, TW1 3DX (020 8892 2166) Twickenham rail.

61 Party on the beach
When the tide goes out once a month, revellers come in. ‘Reclaim the Beach’ parties take place on the Thames in front of the Royal Festival Hall.
www.swarming.org.uk/recl.htm or email beach@swarming.org.uk

62 Tuck into pie and mash at M Manze’s…
…at Tower Bridge. Two pies, a mountain of mash and a lake of liquor for £3.45.
M Manze’s, 87 Tower Bridge Rd, SE1 (020 7407 2985) 1, 42, 188 bus.

63 Stand on the bridge in St James’s Park and gawp…
…as you look out over Buckingham Palace.
St James’s Park or Westminster tube.

64 Consider the cuppa…
…at the Bramah Museum of Tea & Coffee. There are seminars about tea once a week.
Bramah Museum of Tea & Coffee, 40 Southwark St, SE1 (020 7403 5650/ www.bramahmuseum.co.uk) London Bridge tube/rail.

65 Drink all day, with a good excuse
For example, what better justification could there be for a jaunt round Fitzrovia than following in the footsteps of the literary greats (George Orwell, Dylan Thomas, George Bernard Shaw, among others) who frequented these pubs?
Grafton Arms, 72 Grafton Way, W1 (020 7387 7923). King & Queen, 1 Foley St, W1 (020 7636 5619). The Hope, 15 Tottenham St,W1 (020 7637 0896). One Tun, 58-60 Goodge St, W1 (020 7209 4105). Northumberland Arms, 43 Goodge St, W1 (020 7637 3806).
Fitzroy Tavern, 16 Charlotte St, W1 (020 7580 3714). For further pub crawl details visit www.alpc.co.uk/pcrawl3.htm .

66 Loaf in a green-and-white deckchair in Green Park
Green Park, W1. Green Park tube.

67 Yelp at scary Victorian medical instruments
Old Operating Theatre, Museum & Herb Garret, 9a St Thomas St, SE1 (020 7188 2679/ www.thegarret.org.uk) London Bridge tube/rail.

68 Watch the penguins being fed
At London Zoo, daily 2.30-3pm.
London Zoo, Regent’s Park, NW1 (020 7722 3333/www.zsl.org/london-zoo) Camden Town tube or C2, 274 bus.

69
See the anoraks fly remote-controlled planes on the Scrubs
Wormwood Scrubs, Scrubs Lane, W10. Willesden Junction tube/rail.

70
Walk under the Thames
At Greenwich, via the (admittedly slightly whiffy) foot tunnel. Your best bet is a guided tour, organised by the Brunel Engine House Museum.
www.brunelenginehouse.org.uk .

71
Get squeamish at the Hunterian Museum
Plenty of morbid exhibits in here. How about the brain of mathematician Charles Babbage? Or Churchill’s dentures?
Hunterian Museum, Royal College of Surgeons, 35-43 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, WC2 (020 7869 6560/ www.rcseng.ac.uk/museums) Holborn tube.

72 Buy Japanese food in Brent
Not so much a shopping centre as a wild day out for lovers of eastern food. The Oriental City complex houses a Japanese confectioner, bakery and supermarket, as well as a pan-Asian food court.
Oriental City, 399 Edgware Rd, NW9 (020 8200 0009) Colindale tube.

Snapshots of life at Dennis Severs' House

73 Tour Dennis Severs’ House by candlelight
A ‘still life drama’, this house on Folgate Street is decked out to recreate snapshots of life in Spitalfields between 1724 and 1914. The atmospheric candlelit tours on Monday evenings cost £12.
Dennis Severs’ House, 18 Folgate St, E1 (020 7247 4013/www.dennissevershouse.co.uk) Liverpool St tube/rail.

74 People-watch from Bar Italia
There are few better spots than a table outside this classic café from which to watch Soho’s weird and wonderful walk, stagger, cartwheel or unicycle by.
Bar Italia, 22 Frith St, W1 (020 7437 4520) Leicester Square, Piccadilly Circus or Tottenham Court Rd tube.

75 Get up close to the deer in Richmond Park
Richmond Park, Richmond, Surrey
(www.royalparks.gov.uk) Richmond tube/rail.

76 Watch a puppet show at the Little Angel Theatre
Founded by John Wright in 1961, this is the only permanent theatre of its kind in London.
Little Angel Theatre, 14 Dagmar Passage, off Cross St, N1 (020 7226 1787/www.littleangeltheatre.com) Angel tube.

77 Let kids take charge at Coram’s Fields
All adults have to be accompanied by a child at this park which boasts sandpits, a football pitch, basketball court, climbing frames and café plus several sheep, goats and rabbits.
Coram’s Fields, 93 Guilford St, WC1 (020 7837 6138/info@coramsfields.org.uk) Russell Square tube.

78 Find peace in Battersea Park
Japanese Peace Pagoda, Battersea Park, SW11 (020 7228 9620/www.batterseapark.org/html/info) Battersea Park rail.

79 Browse the National Archives
There’s a thousand years of official government records here. See if they’ve got anything on you. Saturday tours are free.
National Archives, Ruskin Avenue, Richmond, Surrey (020 8876 3444/www.nationalarchives.gov.uk) Kew Gardens tube/rail.

80 Do the big three east London markets
Spitalfields for clothes, music and jewellery, Colombia Road for flowers, and Brick Lane for all kinds of crazy tat.
Brick Lane Market, E1; Columbia Road Market, E2; Spitalfields Market, E1 (www.visitspitalfields.com). Liverpool St tube/rail for all.

81 Muck out pigs
There are 17 city farms around London, including Kentish Town, Hackney, Spitalfields and Vauxhall. See your local council website for the nearest.

82 Go up the wall
Not the actual London Wall, but one of those at the capital’s fantastic climbing centres.
Castle Climbing Centre, Green Lanes, N4 (020 8211 7000) Manor House tube.
Mile End Climbing Centre, Haverfield Rd, E3 (020 8980 0289) Mile End tube.
Westway Climbing Wall, Westway Sports Centre, 1 Crowthorne Rd, W10 (020 8969 0992) Latimer Rd or White City tube.

83 Visit the ‘magnificent seven’ cemeteries
If you can’t manage them all, do Highgate – marked by its dramatic tombs of towering angels, shrouded urns and broken columns.
Highgate Cemetery, Swains Lane, N6 (020 8340 1834/www.highgate-cemetery.org) Archway tube.

84 Have a kickabout on Hackney Marshes
Or just watch the Sunday morning carnage.
Hackney Marshes, Homerton Rd, E9. Homerton rail.

85 Feast on fish and chips
At cabman’s favourite the Fryer’s Delight.
Fryer’s Delight, 19 Theobald’s Rd, WC1 (020 7405 4114) Holborn tube

86 Get into an arguement at Speaker's Corner
Read what happened when Time Out picked a fight at Speakers' Corner

87 Treat yourself to oysters and champagne
Bibendum, Michelin House, 81 Fulham Rd, SW3 (020 7581 5817) South Kensington tube.

88 Get a Savile Row suit
At London’s oldest tailor (est 1689), from £695.
Ede & Ravenscroft, 8 Burlington Gardens, Savile Row, W1 (020 7734 5450/ www.edeandravenscroft.co.uk) Piccadilly Circus tube.

89 Horse around Hyde Park
Few people know there are stables and a riding school here. Lessons are £45-£85 an hour.
Hyde Park & Kensington Stables, 63 Bathurst Mews, W2 (020 7723 2813/ www.hydeparkstables.com) Lancaster Gate tube.

90 Catch a Bollywood film in the Boleyn Cinema
Boleyn Cinema, 7-11 Barking Rd, E6 (020 8471 4884) Upton Park tube.

91 Walk with dinosaurs
The world’s first theme park is in Crystal Palace Park. However, because it was built in 1854 before anyone knew what dinosaurs looked like, it’s also the world’s least accurate theme park.
Crystal Palace Park, Thicket Rd, SE20. Crystal Palace rail.

92 Visit an old-school sex shop
But you’d better be quick, as new, middle-class shops like Harmony are pushing out the original seed merchants. Head to Soho for your last encounter with sex as it was: a shelf full of battered copies of Strict Mistress magazine (January 1989), a Calor gas heater in the corner and a genuine London villain eyeing you from the counter.

93 Eat offal
Feast on trotters, kidneys, brains and other parts.
St John, 26 St John St, EC1 (020 7251 0848/ www.stjohnrestaurant.com) Farringdon tube/rail.

Ice baby: skate at Somerset House

94 Do the Monopoly pub crawl
That’s 26 pubs, in order (see the website for a list). Don’t expect to collect £200 if you pass Go.
www.monopolypubcrawl.org.uk.

95 Catch a gig at Ronnie Scott’s
Ronnie Scott’s, 47 Frith St, W1 (020 7439 0747) Tottenham Court Rd tube.

96 Buy a mobile phone with your halal chicken
On Rye Lane. Enter Peckham’s bizarre bazaar… a place where Asia, Africa and the West Indies meet and the same man sells you goat meat and electrical equipment (as well as fish).
Ash’s Meat Centre, 133 Rye Lane, SE15 (020 7639 5625) Peckham Rye rail. Phone Connect, 85 Rye Lane, SE15 (020 7639 1161) Peckham Rye rail.

97 Watch contemporary dance
At the stunning Laban centre. Or just stand and admire this incredible Herzog & de Meuron-designed building from the outside.
Laban, Creekside, SE8 (020 8691 8600/ www.laban.org) Deptford or Greenwich rail.

98 Get fitted for a Rigby & Peller bra
Corsetieres to the Queen, and they claim that 80 per cent of women are wearing the wrong size.
Rigby & Peller, 22a Conduit St, W1 (0845 076 5545/ www.rigbyandpeller.com) Oxford Circus tube.

99 Order a superior kebab on Green Lanes
Forget those post-pub nasties: kebabs from the Turkish cafés and restaurants on this Manor House-Turnpike Lane stretch are a class apart.
Antepliler, 46 Grand Parade, Green Lanes, N4 (020 8802 5588) Manor House tube.

100 Do the seasons at Somerset House
Go to a courtyard concert in the summer, skate on the ice rink in the winter.
Somerset House, Strand, WC2 (020 7845 4600/ www.somerset-house.org.uk) Temple tube.

101 Chomp on London’s finest steak
The Gaucho Grill mini-chain won the Time Out Best Steak Restaurant award in September.
Gaucho Grill, 125-126 Chancery Lane, WC2 (020 7242 7727/ www.gaucho-grill.com) Chancery Lane tube.

The ‘Time Out 1,000 Things to Do in London’ guide will be published in spring 2007.