10,000 B.C.

Film

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Time Out rating:

<strong>Rating: </strong>2/5

User ratings:

<strong>Rating: </strong>3/5
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Time Out says

Tue Mar 11 2008

Roland Emmerich’s misjudged stab at a Pleistocene-era epic is a mammoth disappointment. Omar Sharif’s ponderous narration introduces a pre-historic world of mysterious myths and prophecies. One where young men like D’Leh (Steven Strait) embark upon life-changing quests that will save not only their loved one, beautiful blue-eyed foundling Evolet (Camilla Belle), but also their entire tribe.

After an attack on their village by ‘four-legged demons’ (horse-riding slave raiders), D’Leh and his mentor, Tic’Tic (Cliff Curtis), brave the snow-topped mountains, lush jungle, wide savannah and parched desert in search of those who were abducted. As they travel towards ‘the mountains of the gods’ – gold-topped pyramids built by slaves and harnessed mammoths – they persuade other tribes to join their war against the raiders.

This ‘Tweenies’ take on ‘Apocalypto’ is insipid stuff. The so-called ‘terror birds’ are fierce versions of Rod Hull’s Emu; the woolly mammoths are benign beasts; and the sabre-toothed tiger, with which D’Leh has a mysterious telepathic connection, seems to have wandered in from Narnia. There is also more than a hint of Erich von Däniken’s book ‘Chariots of the Gods’ about the pyramids, where effete, claret-robed priests grovel before the albino Almighty One. The vapid young leads have no presence whatsoever, so Kiwi actor Curtis is left to wrestle what gravitas he can from the risible dialogue.

As one would expect, the director of ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ has no trouble integrating the spectacular vistas and impressive visual effects into a mix-and-match whole. However, Emmerich’s storytelling lacks the kinetic energy and visceral impact of Mel Gibson’s muscular myth-making: like the lumbering mammoths, it is plodding and dull.
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Release details

UK release:

Fri Mar 14, 2008

Duration:

109 mins

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Comments & ratings

Rated as: 3/5 (51 ratings)
  • I thought this was the best movie I've ever seen. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know all the reviewers seemed to have not liked it at all, but I really really enjoyed the storyline, scenery, and characters. I know it was violent but it was less violent than many movies now.

    wendy Tue Apr 2
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  • What is in the foto

    mkhg Thu May 26 2011
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  • utter rubbish expected more certainly one for the bargain box along with The Golden Compass, the acting was p--s poor B Movie don't bother

    seymourbutt Tue Jun 17 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • One of the worse films i have seen. Good if you want a laugh at the bad acting and over sized turkeys!!! Dont recommend it

    kelbels Sun Apr 27 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • A load of shit,,,, the director must have been inspired by bollywood love stories.....a blady rip offfffff!!!!!

    Ali Fri Apr 18 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • Biggest load of crap ive ever seen. Not 1 good thing about it. Don't see it unless you like watchin cavemen fighting egyptians and mutated chickens trying to eat people

    Vince Thu Apr 17 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • good special effects but crap unoriginal plot.first apocalypto scene with village being raided and people being transported far away then slavery and finnaly the 300 bit at the end with the spear

    urmum99 Mon Apr 14 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • essential viewing for all to celebrate a cultural revolution and cgi copycats A TRUE CULTURAL REVOLUTION ;MULTICULTURALISM might be an invention of today,but emmerich insists in this new great saga throught the GREAT NILE BASIN that we had an english speaking tribe in african heartlands who spoke better english then in most american movies today, MORE REASONS TO WATCH THIS CLAS[LESS]SIC, it also tells us that there were GIANT TURKEYS eating our ancestors ,bigger then the turkeys hollywood is making today for sure in the nile valley, also some ugly american indian chinese woman MUMBLING african mambo jumbo ,playing mother to theSE hunter tribes -african mama all hail, one more reason is that its a MULTI-ETHNIC CAST ,blue eyed belles ,latino men ,cuban sex symbols ,puerto rican studs ,arab villains and jewish looking albinos ,but thats not all they speak multiple languages and are still able to communicate better then us today, they can also transfer body spirits ,ultimate soul transplant TO BEAT CLONING , yet they have no idea of where the north star is , but thanks to our american star who looks like a cross between cuban-latino texans ,with the obligatory steroid 6-pack and sanitised perfect gums with a tootbrush ad smile and also has no idea about how to deliver his dialogues or how to even talk to CGI MADE cats[or was it a leoprd ] ,YET he is able to cross 6000 miles of the nile basin ,because he discovers the north star astronomers be damned , meanwhile as the ancient egyptians smuggle the poor slaves from the african hinterlands to build the pyramids ,they have already predicted all that happens in the future with the astrology -the predictable script gets worse by one sign or another ,this is all science too-the science of hollywoods misery . somehow no one ever is killed in this movie except bakus mum [a latino kid with a chinese mum ].even the giant tree-climbing turkeys do not ear any one -the leopard too starves himself -everything is saved for the finale , well this glorious racial mixture is exhilirating but not as much as the enlightening dialogues and the mammoth sets created by studio CGI,nor the leopard that is a ridiculous cat that looks like an elephant . YET they all pale in comparison to a single scene of ten commandments OR cleopatra ,BUT THAT WAS 50 years ago and now we have made great progress ,so for our sins we have to see these poor imitations of THE EGYPTIAN and one million year bc ,as for the land that time forgot ,its a classic compared to this, but one good reason to see this is to realise how degrading american cinema has become in the last few years how the big studios insult their audience by insulting themselves , and any intelligence left whatsoever is not to be found in a movie budgeted over 10 million dollars , the worst thing is this will end up grossing 100million dollars or more ,perhaps that explains the ten thousand title because i thought the pyramids were only 4000-6000yrs old , but then history can always be rewritten and it literally is here with the english language and all rules of decent cinema production being violated ,the funny midget who is produced from an under ground chamber on a stretcher to prohecy is one of the silliest characters ever in cinema and the lines he utters were like from the gutter. watch out for the really funny voice over by OMAR SHARIF too -yes he is the sado masochist who starts this torture with some wise utterrings which sound like a silly gag,he ONCE PLAYED DR.ZHIVAGO IN THE LEAN MOVIE ,but that seems 1000 years ago at least , the studios need to transported to the path of the next tsunami as that is the only way to be rid of these really monstrous movies and these MORONS , -what a shame as stargate was entertaining at least ,this is a sic joke

    usman khawaja Mon Apr 14 2008
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • this film was so boring !

    tanya Mon Apr 14 2008
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  • this film was really gd , i thought it was going to be boring but it turned out that it wasent at all , once u get into it it can make u change your opinion on it , i recommend the film to anyone, trust me u will love it.

    Danielle Mon Apr 14 2008
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