It starts with John Hurt in full fireside-chat mode as the voice of Sammy, a kindly, ageing sea turtle looking back over a life spent roaming the oceans of the world: cue flashback, as Sammy is born, makes friends, falls in love and is adopted by a VW-driving Californian hippy who talks like a member of the ‘EastEnders’ cast. Yes, wherever Sammy goes, everyone he meets is English: sharks, seagulls, even an American cop. The result is like ‘Finding Nemo’ meets ‘Eurotrash’, only not quite as fun as that sounds.
Elsewhere, there’s little to recommend ‘A Turtle’s Tale’: the characters are thin, the dialogue is bland and the animation is plasticky, though the 3D effects are sometimes interesting in a lurid, sub-Pixar fashion. It’s all tied together with a blunt, patronising ecological message about protecting wildlife and respecting the oceans. Respecting the audience is lower on the agenda.