I WAS SHOCKED AT MYSELF, THAT I FOUND THIS SO FUNNY. THE WAY HE CHALLENGES ENTRENCHED OPINIONS AND GROUPS IS HILARIOUS.
Dave Calhoun speaks to Austria's premiere gay fashionista Bruno about London, holidays and Prince Harry
See image gallery of our photoshoot with everyone's favourite Austrian fashion guru.
You had the British premiere of your film here in London. What does the city mean to you?
‘Ich love London, it gave ze vorld so much – ze bowler hat, ze black cab, ze Beatles. Ich had hoped to meet Prince Harry, because I’ve heard he’s a slut. According to mein friend Gerhardt Shvettering, he’ll stick it anywhere.’
How does it feel to be a global movie star?
‘It’s amazing. Ich feel I have a lot in common mit Jesus und Gandhi. We’re basically messiahs mit millions of fans and all three of us look AMAZING in just our unterpants.’
Your film opens just in time for the summer holidays. What do you remember most fondly from your schooldays?
‘Mein most favourite memory from mein schooldays ist sending ein scheisse in ein box to mein games teacher for saying zat ich ran like ein fairy. Ich alzo remember being gay-bashed – mainly by ze other gay kids.’
And what would you rather forget?
‘Ze fact zat ich had filled out “sender’s address” vhen ich sent ein scheisse in ein box to mein games teacher.’
Summer’s here. Have you ever had a holiday romance? Tell us all about it.
‘Ich have had many holiday romances. Ich recently spent ein month on Mykonos, vere ich averaged two holiday romances a day. My current relationship started on a holiday. Mein boyfriend is a genuine Pygmy called Diesel. I met him in French Polynesia where he was working as an oilboy at the spatel I was staying at. Within 20 minutes he’d stolen my heart, my wallet and the contents of my kugelsack.’
What are your plans for this summer?
‘Ich vill continue vith mein charity vork. In Austria last year on St Adolph’s Day, my show, ‘Funkyzeit’ paid for one hundred vorthless beggars to get zeir teeth vhitened und ve’re currently raising money to send Sammy Casalli – ze stylist of der Pussycat Dolls – to an African village to give one lucky girl a super-sexy makeover! Ich alzo vant to raise avareness of child labour. A lot of ze children are getting organised into unions. It’s forcing ze prices right up. Ich think zey should move zere sveatshops to Osterreich – ze children here are used to being chained up in basements for years on end.’
Read our review of ‘Brüno’ here
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