Burlesque (12A)

Film

Musicals

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Time Out rating:

<strong>Rating: </strong>2/5

User ratings:

<strong>Rating: </strong>3/5
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Time Out says

Tue Dec 14 2010

‘Burlesque’ stars the singer Christina Aguilera as a plucky Midwesterner making it big in a Los Angeles burlesque club and Cher (or is that a life-sized Cher mannequin?) as her mentor. The movie has three potential audiences. None will leave empty-handed. None will be truly sated.
Musical fans excited to see an all-singing, all-dancing rags-to-riches rollercoaster spectacular will probably feel least cheated. With form in music videos and live burlesque, debut writer-director Steven Antin knows how to put on a show and mean it. He throws spangly, ‘Chicago’-style production numbers at the screen like King Kong hurling cars down Fifth Avenue.

Connoisseurs of the compellingly bad and/or outrageously camp will find a fair bit to savour: notably, thudding exposition, naff design touches and a nocturnal car-park scene involving Cher, a crowbar, mutant lungs, memories, adultery and vomit. But too much of the movie is simply banal or inept. The leads are inert, the production design boringly glossy. Crucially, the script is devoid of tension, badly paced and stuffed with distracting supporting characters, of whom only Stanley Tucci, reprising his GBF shtick from ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, is remotely memorable. Worst news for schlock fiends: no actual tits, no bona-fide bitches.

The third potential audience – adolescent girls in search of aspirational escapism – is the crowd to whom the film’s coy dissembling about the actual nature of burlesque does a real disservice. Even if they admire Aguilera’s powerful voice, this ain’t the way professional singers are discovered. But there it is: try to make ‘Showgirls’ for 12 year olds and you please no one. What a tease.

Author: Ben Walters

5

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Release details

Rated:

12A

UK release:

Fri Dec 17 2010

Duration:

119 mins

Cast and crew

Director:

Steven Antin

Screenwriter:

Steven Antin

Cast:

Cher, Christina Aguilera, Alan Cumming

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Comments & ratings

Rated as: 3/5 (2 ratings)

  • This is one of the worst films in Hollywood's History. Cher looks like the wax museum come to life. Aguilera is washed up. The entire presentation of this film is a textbook on what Hollywood has always done to destroy genre after genre. Today's movies are SO boring. Give me the classicsd

    Guido Thu Dec 29 2011
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  • Once upon a time Cher used to be a good actress, and even won an Oscar. However, a fortune on plastic surgery and many years later, she now looks like an imperious drag queen. On the up side, she’ll soon be able to double for Quentin Crisp - she just needs the fedora. Given she was supposed to be the “starâ€� of Burlesque and the only one who didn’t lipsync and sang her songs, I was immediately struck by the notion that it would have helped if she’d bothered to learn the songs so when she lipsync’d with herself in the opening number she’d be vaguely convincing. . Aguilera is very so-so – unfortunately the course of this film has clearly been written to act as a singer-dancer-actress vehicle for her. This movie is predictable, so much so a toddler with a first set of crayons could have written a more imaginative and convincing script. Cher, Aguilera, and Tucci are all good performers – but this is a terrible story/script/vehicle, and not right for any of them. Time Out’s critique of this film is totally accurate save for one thing – they gave it two stars - one star is generous.

    Mike Thu Jan 6 2011
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • this was a good film in my eyes worth a watch

    storm Sat Dec 25 2010
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  • i think this film is worth a go it was a good film in its own right simon cowell would like the singing and the art work that went in too the makeing of this film

    57orm Sat Dec 25 2010
    Rated as: 4/5
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  • The absolute and unadulterated crapness of this film makes it one to savour. Not a good tune it. Cher's face gives a separate pe rformance to the rest of her body. Her hair never moves ... cos it aint really hers. Go see it for mind boggling experience.

    ARCHGATE Fri Dec 17 2010
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