Ted (15)

Film

Romantic comedy

Ted

Time Out rating:

<strong>Rating: </strong>3/5

User ratings:

<strong>Rating: </strong>3/5
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Time Out says

Mon Jul 30 2012

Christmas, Boston, 1985. Seven-year-old John wishes his teddy could come to life and be his best friend forever. A star shoots by, the wish is granted, delight ensues. Which is all very Spielberg. Then the bear works the talk shows, becomes a has-been and turns into a feckless hanger-on as John becomes a thirtysomething delayed adolescent with a taste for bongs and kitsch pop culture. That bit’s very Seth MacFarlane.

‘Ted’ is the first feature from the creator of ‘Family Guy’ and ‘American Dad’ and shares their hyper-savvy sense of humour and yen for man-creature buddy dynamics. Though not as nuanced or engaging as Brian the dog from ‘Family Guy’ or Roger the alien from ‘American Dad’, the computer-animated Ted – voiced by MacFarlane – is of the same type, surfing on his share of neuroses but basically the smartest guy in the room. If he were a guy. 

Whether you enjoy the movie will depend on how much you like Ted. There are plenty of strong gags of the MacFarlane school, and the funniest moments involve Ted in full, rude flow, either holding forth or engaged in brawling, partying and other unteddybearlike activities. Other than that, there’s little going on. MacFarlane opts for a predictable story in which the adult John (Mark Wahlberg) is under pressure from his girlfriend (Mila Kunis) to get his shit together. She’s fending off a slimeball at work and Ted is being bugged by a fan (Giovanni Ribisi), and that’s it. The plot runs out of steam, squandering its jeopardy and limping towards a cop-out climax with no technical flair to keep things going.

In many ways, ‘Ted’ is reminiscent of Ricky Gervais’s misfiring film vehicles ‘Ghost Town’ and ‘The Invention of Lying’: narcissistically over-reliant on the supposed charms of their leads, these movies are banal as films and mildly objectionable in tone. Women are long-suffering stooges who either crack up at the blokes’ gags or roll their eyes at their childishness – neatly illustrated by a playground insistence on the inherent snigger-worthiness of homosexuality. Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it’s time to grow up. Seriously.

35

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Release details

Rated:

15

UK release:

Wed Aug 1 2012

Duration:

106 mins

Cinemas showing Ted

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Queen of Hoxton

Rating: 3/5

1 Curtain Road, London, EC2A 3JX Show map/details

  • Address:

    Queen of Hoxton 1 Curtain Road
    London
    EC2A 3JX

  • Phone:

    020 7422 0958

  • Website:

    www.thequeenofhoxton.co.uk

  • Opening hours:

    Open Summer 1pm-midnight Mon-Wed, Sun; 1pm-2am Thur-Sat. Winter 5pm-midnight Mon-Wed, Sun; 5pm-2am Thur-Sat

  • Transport:

    Tube: Old Street tube/rail or Shoreditch High Street rail

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Comments & ratings

Rated as: 3/5 (25 ratings)
  • Racism through sarcasm.. if it's funny it must be true! anti-jewish, anti-islamic, disrespectful comments about Jesus and senseless hints about lots of different groups.. I think it was put on purpose, you can make money without slipping in those comments.

    Sed Tue Jan 15
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  • Any reviewer who gets bogged down in the supposedly 'racist', 'homophobic' or WHATEVER themes that are touched upon in this movie just clearly doesn't get it~ This is one of the funniest and sharpest movies that I HAVE EVER SEEN! Honestly~ Forget the P.C. goggles and just ENJOY - and if youdon't see something of yerself in this movie? Then, you don't get it (re. the above!0 And homo jokes ARE still funny - sorry guys - but for most people sodomy just ain't natural;nor will it ever be!

    lafoix Thu Jan 3
    Rated as: 5/5
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  • The problem with this film is not the directly damaging effects of its racism, homophobia, anti-islamic comments or any one of the multitude of tactless or inciteful gags... this film is clearly aimed at the generation of young, liberal minded adults and teenagers that actually appear to have a more accepting and global view than anyone of its predecessors... The politically incorrect mantra of seth Macfarlane and its success is only possible due to the desensitisation of the masses to whom nothing of this sort is taken seriously and while the desensitisation of young people is extremely worrying in some regards I believe that comedy really should have no boundaries as in the end making light of the world in all its forms without genuine animosity or predjudice is in itself a good thing. The issue with this film is that it makes cheap use of its incorrectness by merely referencing and name dropping without any substance whatsoever. As paradoxical as it sounds there is such a thing as tasteful bad taste and this film foregoes this completely. It is a symptom of our culturally vacant time that we are veering towards self-parody of our own culture as a defence mechanism against our lack of idea's and seth macfarland is at the forefront of this but while self parody can be incredibly funny and have some value, ted and family guy refuse to engage with anything they relate to... all this film contains is gross out humour which has lost all its edge due to over exhaustion and pop culture references which are as worthless and hollow as the film itself... in this way seth erects a mirror to show the banality of the void inherent in a large part of our creative output and society and then actively encourages us to join in while giving us the illusion of some kind of detachment. We are lead to believe that we are the ones above from all the stupidity in life and somehow enlightened when in actual fact we are watching a moronic, talking bear for an hour and a half. Even if my views so far are not a concern for you and unless you happen to find the idea of a lude bear in itself utterly hilarious you should not watch this film because unlike family guy it's comic timing is awful the jokes aren't even funny in a brainless kind of way and it concludes with half an hour of unadulterated sap worthy of the most disarmingly dull chick flick.

    the regenerator Thu Dec 27 2012
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • The problem with this film is not the directly damaging effects of its racism, homophobia, anti-islamic comments or any one of the multitude of tactless or inciteful gags... this film is clearly aimed at the generation of young, liberal minded adults and teenagers that actually appear to have a more accepting and global view than anyone of its predecessors... The politically incorrect mantra of seth Macfarlane and its success is only possible due to the desensitisation of the masses to whom nothing of this sort is taken seriously and while the desensitisation of young people is extremely worrying in some regards I believe that comedy really should have no boundaries as in the end making light of the world in all its forms without genuine animosity or predjudice is in itself a good thing. The issue with this film is that it makes cheap use of its incorrectness by merely referencing and name dropping without any substance whatsoever. As paradoxical as it sounds there is such a thing as tasteful bad taste and this film foregoes this completely. It is a symptom of our culturally vacant time that we are veering towards self-parody of our own culture as a defence mechanism against our lack of idea's and seth macfarland is at the forefront of this but while self parody can be incredibly funny and have some value, ted and family guy refuse to engage with anything they relate to... all this film contains is gross out humour which has lost all its edge due to over exhaustion and pop culture references which are as worthless and hollow as the film itself... in this way seth erects a mirror to show the banality of the void inherent in a large part of our creative output and society and then actively encourages us to join in while giving us the illusion of some kind of detachment. We are lead to believe that we are the ones above from all the stupidity in life and somehow enlightened when in actual fact we are watching a moronic, talking bear for an hour and a half. Even if my views so far are not a concern for you and unless you happen to find the idea of a lude bear in itself utterly hilarious you should not watch this film because unlike family guy it's comic timing is awful the jokes aren't even funny in a brainless kind of way and it concludes with half an hour of unadulterated sap worthy of the most disarmingly dull chick flick.

    the regenerator Thu Dec 27 2012
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • I have just turned TED firmly off after hearing the so called 'jokey' reference to Parkinsons. I have Parkinsons and I can assure you that it is far from funny. I know it would be more 'cool' to be able to laugh and a few years ago I would have joined in. Not any more. I was surprised at the opening references to beating up Jewish kids. My partner, who is Jewish, laughed like a drain but then, being Jewish hasn't drastically affected his quality of life and isn't putting him at risk of having Alzheimers or Dementia. Whoever wrote the TED script is an insensitive moron, But then I imagine it made loads of money and that's the point, isn't it.

    MBW Wed Dec 12 2012
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  • Gremlins is much better than this rubbish.

    Jock Thu Oct 4 2012
    Rated as: 2/5
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  • I LOVE THIS FILM! Some rude parts hahaha,but some were hilarious (eg. Taylor Laughtner) totally recommend this. A lot of swearing though and nudeity ;) but its a great film if u wanna go for a good laugh.

    Jazzyy Fri Sep 28 2012
    Rated as: 5/5
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  • Unbelievably crap. I wanted to walk out half way through but stayed to see if it got better however i was again disappointed. I cannot get my head around how this film has some 4 star ratings! What is funny about casual rascism? THE worst film i have ever had the misfortune to sit through. I would not watch this film again if you paid me.

    Stacey Mon Sep 3 2012
    Rated as: 1/5
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  • Was a funny movie there s lots of warnings about the content in the ads n marketing !! If u like family guy you ll like it ! I'm Scottish and thought the meat hole pudding scene was hilarious. ! Some people taking everything too seriously .... It's a film at the end of the day it's not real ..... It's more of a Tom com for guys ! As the storyline is weighed on by walberg and kunis relationship ! Some of that story was a bit cheesy ! Laughed a lot throughout though ! Do did everyone else in the cinema !!!

    Gemmatj Sun Aug 26 2012
    Rated as: 4/5
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  • em...just realised that it looks like I'm calling myself 'racist' in the posting below, when it's the film I'm saying is racist! oops.

    not racist Fri Aug 24 2012
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