Ted (15)

Film

Romantic comedy

Ted

Time Out rating:

<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>3</span>/5

User ratings:

<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>3</span>/5
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Time Out says

Mon Jul 30 2012

Christmas, Boston, 1985. Seven-year-old John wishes his teddy could come to life and be his best friend forever. A star shoots by, the wish is granted, delight ensues. Which is all very Spielberg. Then the bear works the talk shows, becomes a has-been and turns into a feckless hanger-on as John becomes a thirtysomething delayed adolescent with a taste for bongs and kitsch pop culture. That bit’s very Seth MacFarlane.

‘Ted’ is the first feature from the creator of ‘Family Guy’ and ‘American Dad’ and shares their hyper-savvy sense of humour and yen for man-creature buddy dynamics. Though not as nuanced or engaging as Brian the dog from ‘Family Guy’ or Roger the alien from ‘American Dad’, the computer-animated Ted – voiced by MacFarlane – is of the same type, surfing on his share of neuroses but basically the smartest guy in the room. If he were a guy. 

Whether you enjoy the movie will depend on how much you like Ted. There are plenty of strong gags of the MacFarlane school, and the funniest moments involve Ted in full, rude flow, either holding forth or engaged in brawling, partying and other unteddybearlike activities. Other than that, there’s little going on. MacFarlane opts for a predictable story in which the adult John (Mark Wahlberg) is under pressure from his girlfriend (Mila Kunis) to get his shit together. She’s fending off a slimeball at work and Ted is being bugged by a fan (Giovanni Ribisi), and that’s it. The plot runs out of steam, squandering its jeopardy and limping towards a cop-out climax with no technical flair to keep things going.

In many ways, ‘Ted’ is reminiscent of Ricky Gervais’s misfiring film vehicles ‘Ghost Town’ and ‘The Invention of Lying’: narcissistically over-reliant on the supposed charms of their leads, these movies are banal as films and mildly objectionable in tone. Women are long-suffering stooges who either crack up at the blokes’ gags or roll their eyes at their childishness – neatly illustrated by a playground insistence on the inherent snigger-worthiness of homosexuality. Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it’s time to grow up. Seriously.

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Release details

Rated:

15

UK release:

Wed Aug 1, 2012

Duration:

106 mins

Users say

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<strong>Rating: </strong><span class='lf-avgRating'>0</span>/5

Average User Rating

2.9 / 5

Rating Breakdown

  • 5 star:8
  • 4 star:4
  • 3 star:4
  • 2 star:2
  • 1 star:10
LiveReviews|28
2 people listening
lafoix

Any reviewer who gets bogged down in the supposedly 'racist', 'homophobic' or WHATEVER themes that are touched upon in this movie just clearly doesn't get it~ This is one of the funniest and sharpest movies that I HAVE EVER SEEN! Honestly~ Forget the P.C. goggles and just ENJOY - and if youdon't see something of yerself in this movie? Then, you don't get it (re. the above!0 And homo jokes ARE still funny - sorry guys - but for most people sodomy just ain't natural;nor will it ever be!

lafoix

Any reviewer who gets bogged down in the supposedly 'racist', 'homophobic' or WHATEVER themes that are touched upon in this movie just clearly doesn't get it~ This is one of the funniest and sharpest movies that I HAVE EVER SEEN! Honestly~ Forget the P.C. goggles and just ENJOY - and if youdon't see something of yerself in this movie? Then, you don't get it (re. the above!0 And homo jokes ARE still funny - sorry guys - but for most people sodomy just ain't natural;nor will it ever be!

the regenerator

The problem with this film is not the directly damaging effects of its racism, homophobia, anti-islamic comments or any one of the multitude of tactless or inciteful gags... this film is clearly aimed at the generation of young, liberal minded adults and teenagers that actually appear to have a more accepting and global view than anyone of its predecessors... The politically incorrect mantra of seth Macfarlane and its success is only possible due to the desensitisation of the masses to whom nothing of this sort is taken seriously and while the desensitisation of young people is extremely worrying in some regards I believe that comedy really should have no boundaries as in the end making light of the world in all its forms without genuine animosity or predjudice is in itself a good thing. The issue with this film is that it makes cheap use of its incorrectness by merely referencing and name dropping without any substance whatsoever. As paradoxical as it sounds there is such a thing as tasteful bad taste and this film foregoes this completely. It is a symptom of our culturally vacant time that we are veering towards self-parody of our own culture as a defence mechanism against our lack of idea's and seth macfarland is at the forefront of this but while self parody can be incredibly funny and have some value, ted and family guy refuse to engage with anything they relate to... all this film contains is gross out humour which has lost all its edge due to over exhaustion and pop culture references which are as worthless and hollow as the film itself... in this way seth erects a mirror to show the banality of the void inherent in a large part of our creative output and society and then actively encourages us to join in while giving us the illusion of some kind of detachment. We are lead to believe that we are the ones above from all the stupidity in life and somehow enlightened when in actual fact we are watching a moronic, talking bear for an hour and a half. Even if my views so far are not a concern for you and unless you happen to find the idea of a lude bear in itself utterly hilarious you should not watch this film because unlike family guy it's comic timing is awful the jokes aren't even funny in a brainless kind of way and it concludes with half an hour of unadulterated sap worthy of the most disarmingly dull chick flick.

Jazzyy

I LOVE THIS FILM! Some rude parts hahaha,but some were hilarious (eg. Taylor Laughtner) totally recommend this. A lot of swearing though and nudeity ;) but its a great film if u wanna go for a good laugh.

Jazzyy

I LOVE THIS FILM! Some rude parts hahaha,but some were hilarious (eg. Taylor Laughtner) totally recommend this. A lot of swearing though and nudeity ;) but its a great film if u wanna go for a good laugh.

Stacey

Unbelievably crap. I wanted to walk out half way through but stayed to see if it got better however i was again disappointed. I cannot get my head around how this film has some 4 star ratings! What is funny about casual rascism? THE worst film i have ever had the misfortune to sit through. I would not watch this film again if you paid me.

Gemmatj

Was a funny movie there s lots of warnings about the content in the ads n marketing !! If u like family guy you ll like it ! I'm Scottish and thought the meat hole pudding scene was hilarious. ! Some people taking everything too seriously .... It's a film at the end of the day it's not real ..... It's more of a Tom com for guys ! As the storyline is weighed on by walberg and kunis relationship ! Some of that story was a bit cheesy ! Laughed a lot throughout though ! Do did everyone else in the cinema !!!

racist

Yes, the racist 'humour' falls flat, as it should do. Someone should tell these script-writers that things aren't funny simply because they're irreverent. They also have to actually BE FUNNY. Overall, though, quite a witty take on what would happen if someone really did magic their teddy bear to life, plus some quite amusing relationshippy stuff, and lots and lots of film references that were totally suited to someone of my age, it seemed! BUT - Brandon Routh is the best superman ever!!! And isn't he married?

jasmine

The talking teddy seems to be having somethimg of a moment right now, right across book fiction and movies. It's not new, having first been introduced in "Brideshead Revisited", set in the 1920s with Aloysius the bear and there are currently a few novels with teddy bear detectives out there. Incidentally people do make jokes about Islam and Muslims and no one does s***** all about it, they are not all demonstrating outside cinemas, because the insults are often not obvious to anyone but the odd Muslim floating about and I walked out of "Borat" after 20 minutes for that and other reasons and got my money back. Apart from that it was simply unfunny and. yes I DID read the trailer

NILES CRANE

If you like Family Guy, like I do, then you'll love it.Or if you're a fan of the work of Seth McFarlane, like I am, you'll love it.It's not for kids.And it's more for fans of Frankie Boyle than Jack Dee. The audience laughed out loud at the screening, many times.Can't remember a British Comedy doing that since.....cannot remember....

JackSpratt

The word banal comes to mind. The movie has funny moments but it certainly does tell people that drugs are great and the normal thing to do. Also, jokes about Parkinson's aren't witty, they're just mean and why does Hollywood always attack Christianity?

ric

Loved it. Go see if your a fan of family guy.If not then you might be a little disgusted & offended-look at reviews 3 star & under but hey,you cant please everyone.

Davet

Somebody above said this film is 'thankfully not PC'. Of course they are right, it's far from PC. I couldn't care less about the drugs personally, but are we seeing a reemergence of racism in our cinema? Whilst Ted is not as bad in that respect as the appalling Baron-Cohen vehicle from earlier this year, why do we need to put up with 'jokes' in Ted such as 'there's an Asian family next door, but at least they don't have a gong'? It's not even funny. Having said that, this film did have it's moments. 1 star though, because casual racism is not what i expect to see in a cinema in the 21st century.

Sutton

This is an enjoyable and bawdy comedy. There are some very funny moments and thankfully it is not PC. It’s an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. If you are a fan of Family Guy, then this film will probably appeal. The CGI is good and if you shut your eyes at times, it is an unusual experience hearing ‘Meg’ and ‘Brian’ deliver the lines. I also liked the Peter Griffin joke.

scrumpyjack

A crisper running time (say 90 min) and more of the type of brilliant scenes that follow "TEDDY RUX FUCKIN' PIN"! then 4*. as it stands, supurb CGI aside, not a lot else bar "don't peek, you'll get kid cancer" type "jokes" (Ohh, my aching sides) and SOME decent sniggers. Pity, still worth a watch, but a little more decorum and it could have been the comedy of the year. Oh yes, isn't the BBFC's "15 rated" policy on drugs along the lines they are not to be endorsed? EVERYONE seems to be having a great time on them with NO negative affects what so ever! 7/10

Susan

Whoops: That's-- He: I have some really wild dance moves. She: So do people with Parkinson's.

Susan

There is a glorification of the drug culture here that is disturbing. I mean, should we really be telling kids that this is normal and good behavior and the constant extreme language is just unnecessary. I'm also tired of films that have little attacks on Christianity as well. If these "jokes" were made about Islam people would be demonstrating outside right now. The idea of a talking teddy is ok and there are some funny jokes but but mostly the movie really isn't that funny and is often childis and/or nasty.. Example: He: I'm a really good dancer. She: So are people with Parkinsons.

Mitch

Ted was a stupid movie...it really wasn't funny...and that comes from a guy who likes Adam sandler movies and American dad...I went in not expecting much and I wasn't disappointed....one star...barely...

Ian

Ok lets get this out of the way before we start. As a comedy this isn't big and it isn't clever. It is funny, in places very funny but sadly the very funny bits are too far apart. If you are easily offended don't go and see this because there are lots of drugs taken, lots of swearing and probably too much Teddy Bear sex (yes you read that right). If you like South Park, Family Guy and loved Team America then this is probably the film for you. If you don't then you will probably hate this. The bear is excellent and Wallberg's acting to an animated bear that must have been cgi'd in later is superb. Kunis is ok, and looks very hot in her "office work outfit" but the real heart of the film is the buddy story between man and bear. The best bits are in the trailer and there are many in jokes about 80's movies and a number of surprising cameos. I liked it just expected to like it more. An ok 3 star film nothing more sadly.

Roy Batty

Ted isn't for everybody sure TRUTHTELLER, but it certainly is more than your standard (and usually tame) 'gross-out' comedy - from my point of view I didn't go into the cinema expecting to be blown away by the plot or have a life changing experience - the plot is merely a (fairly weak) vehicle for the jokes, and to be honest the humour is really just a 15 certificate extension of Family Guy… but the point is that I did go in expecting a certain level (and standard) of comedy. My 4 stars were based on the fact that I enjoyed a film I was EXPECTING to be at a certain level - it might have been 5 stars but for the fact that some of the jokes don't quite hit the mark. That aside, to give a film one star - not because you thought it was badly made or down to a poor plot, or even not funny enough - but because it offended your own personal sensibilities and beliefs says more about your own judgement - seriously, if you have a sensitive sense of humour don't buy a Jimmy Carr DVD, if you're sensitive about religion don't buy a Richard Dawkins book, and if you're sensitive about offensive movies don't go and see an offensive movie, and then moan about how offended you were.

salvatore contaldo

in my opinion, the plot is linear and clear without major gaps or non-sense, the idea behind this movie is great, simple but working really well and the jokes are amazing, if you like this kind of humour. Flash Gordon is a 5 star cameo. Not to miss!

salvatore contaldo

in my opinion, the plot is linear and clear without major gaps or non-sense, the idea behind this movie is great, simple but working really well and the jokes are amazing, if you like this kind of humour. Flash Gordon is a 5 star cameo. Not to miss!

Joe

Best film ever. Taking the pee out of everyone. Loves the bad language. Class. And im a highly educated airline pilot!

Joe

Best film ever. Taking the pee out of everyone. Loves the bad language. Class. And im a highly educated airline pilot!

TRUTHTELLER.

Roy: First, you watch the CareBears?! Second, I liked The Hangover but I never like gratuitious attempts to belittle the faith of other human beings and I just don't think it;s humorous to make fun of those who are retarded or suffering from that crippling disease Parkinsons. Third, this is not edgy comedy, it's juvenile and approaches the humor of ten-year-olds.

Roy Batty

A fair amount of intelligent comedy here, a fair bit crude - as long as you go in with an open mind and are happy to leave your sensibilities at the door you will enjoy, go in expecting Care Bears TRUTHTELLER, you'll be offended

TRUTHTELLER.

If you like movies that make fun of those who are retarded, then this is the movie for you. If you like movies that make fun of those afflicted with Parkinson's Disease then this is the movie for you. If you like your movie dialogue to be a constant stream of "f___", mother f____r, c___k suck_r, etc then this is the movie for you. If you like movies that attempt to ridicule Christianity, then this is the movie for you. If you have an intellect and/or an IQ roughly equivalent to a rock then maybe you will laugh at the unfunny, unwitty material that was apparently written by a ten-year-old on a bad day. I walkied in liking the stars of this "film" and walked out disliking them for agreeing to participate in a total pile of unfunny crap.