Gay & Lesbian

If London’s sophisticated scene is starting to wear thinner than a Heaven go-go boy’s g-string and you yearn for something more home-spun, then how about cross-stitching, prize vegetables and Sir Ian McKellen’s Grand Opening? All in a proper church hall this Saturday courtesy of The House of Homosexual Culture. I asked co-organiser Rupert Smith about the fêteful day: ‘Perception of LGBT people, particularly gay men, is massively over-sexualised. This is an attempt to redress the balance by going completely the other way, “desexualising” sexuality, having a bit of fun with it and showing the world that there’s more to us than just shagging’. Feature continues

So does he feel that gay men, in particular, are losing their nurturing skills? ‘Some are. Some women are, too. One of the things that fed into this whole project was someone who said to me “I’m only a lesbian because I fuck women”. Surely there’s more to our lives than that? If people spent a bit more time making chutney the world would be a much better place’.

And what has the reaction been so far? ‘Incredible. We’ve been overwhelmed by contributors and the icing on the fairy cake is Sir Ian coming down to open the fayre (and, of course, you have to spell it with a “y” as you will know if you’re a fan of Victoria Wood). I think people realise that it will be a scream but that it’s also a relief to be able to celebrate a side of life that isn’t acknowledged in the gay scene. We’re saying “Out of the clubs and into the kitchen!”’.

Highlights of the fayre include a floristry demonstration by Chelsea Gold medal winner Mig Kimpton, needlecraft stalls from groups including ‘Stitch and Bitch’, storytelling by builders and Timbalina, a bearded lady putting a different spin on the traditional tombola.There’s also a cake-decorating workshop by Konditor & Cook’s Gerhard Jenne: ‘I will be giving a demonstration of how to ice gingerbread men, not just the two raisin varieties, but ones with personality. Most gay men have definitely got a talent for home-making. In rural communities, there are more outlets for our fabulous talents like village fêtes but, in London, they remain hidden’.

Apart from the chance to scoff home-cooked cake (with profits going to Food Chain) and marvel at Becky’s massive marrow, there will be a plant-swap, bric-a-brac and the cutting-edge product for kitchen-proud queens: a Tupperware stall. Andrew Humphrey will be selling the retro-nostalgic candy-coloured plastic goodies: ‘I heard about the fayre from a customer at one of my parties. I think he bought a Happy Chopper. Right now, lesbians and gay men are definitely my best customers. They are mad for it’.

And what’s a nice gay boy like him doing in a place-setting like this? ‘I started a few months ago, inspired by two of the top-selling consultants in the US; the butch lesbian folksinger Phranc and the white trash drag queen Dixie Longate, with one-liners as sharp as her nails, and I’m now the sixth best seller in the UK and Ireland! Tupperware ticks all the right queer boxes, and gives them an air-tight seal’.
Finally I ask Rupert which event he’s most looking forward to:

‘The bring-and-buy stall. I just think it will be fabulous to see what people come along with. I’m hoping to see some great big Muscle Marys who have made exquisite Nigella cupcakes, or some very serious lesbians who have gone wild with macramé’.

www.homoculture.org