The hedonism of London's gay community has taken a self-destructive turn, with hardcore drug use and unsafe sex leading to levels of death and disease unseen since the '80s. Worse still, no one is talking about it. Time Out reports on the biggest threat to the scene in 20 years
Something scary is happening on the gay scene. Doctors know it. Club promoters know it. Clubbers know it, too. But nobody is talking about it, at least not openly. Twenty-five years after Aids was first identified, much has changed in the fight against the disease. A generation has grown up with the message that safer sex saves lives. So why are new infection rates so alarmingly high? And why do some gay men seem so hell-bent on destroying themselves? On Friday, the day before World Aids Day, the Royal Vauxhall Tavern is hosting a night called 'The Biggest Suicide Cult in History'. Strong words, and no less than you'd expect from the man responsible, performance artist David Hoyle. But the flyer goes even further. 'All over Vauxhall they are fucking without condoms', it reads. 'All over Vauxhall they are dancing till Tuesday morning. All over Vauxhall they are taking G, K, C, V and E [that's GHB, ketamine, cocaine, Viagra and ecstasy]. All over Vauxhall they are dying.'
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'I truly believe that a lot of gay men would prefer to be dead,' says Hoyle. 'They clearly have deep-seated self-esteem issues and they go out seeking oblivion because, deep down, they don't believe their lives are worth living.' Hoyle is an outspoken critic of the commercial gay scene, and his words are clearly designed to provoke a reaction. But you don't have to look too far on the scene to find people behaving in a manner you might describe as 'self-destructive'. In the past eight years, the number of gay men with HIV in the UK has almost doubled. Partly this is due to an increase in the numbers coming forward for testing since the advent of lifesaving combination therapy. But partly it's due to a rise in unsafe sex or 'barebacking'. Dr Sean Cummings of Freedomhealth is a leading expert on gay male sexual health, and has warned for years of a second epidemic. Today he confirms that sexual health clinics 'have reached crisis point with rocketing rates of new STD diagnoses'. And where there's syphilis and gonorrhoea, HIV often follows.
'I get offered a lot of unsafe sex,' says Simon Casson, promoter of Duckie. 'I'm completely open about my HIV positive status, and I meet a lot of men who want me to fuck them without condoms. I used to go to gay sex clubs and saunas and there was always a lot of unsafe sex. People in those environments tend to be off their faces on drink and drugs. Why else would a gay sauna in Vauxhall be open for 24 hours, unless people were on drugs? I think there is a significant constituency of gay men in London who use a lot of drugs and who are into unsafe sex. It's actually not that socially taboo. It's quite accepted. Just look at all the men advertising for bareback sex on Gaydar.' Alternatively, walk into any gay sex shop and the evidence is all around you. Bareback porn is outselling all other forms of gay adult entertainment. And I don't mean the 'pre-condom classics' made in the days before Aids and reissued by studios like Falcon. I mean films produced now, often in the UK.
For years, the focus was on eroticising safer sex. Now it seems the reverse is true. Barebacking is portrayed as just another gay lifestyle choice, like living in a loft-style apartment or shopping at IKEA. Surely this must be having some effect on people's behaviour? As one gay porn producer wrote in a letter to the gay weekly Boyz recently: 'Porn does influence the kind of sex you have in reality, and bareback porn contradicts all the good work on HIV prevention being carried out by health promotion charities.'
Incidentally, it was in Boyz that I also read about the British gay porn actor who contracted HIV on a porn shoot. Which begs the question: how many gay men will get off watching the film in which he became infected? And how many will imitate that behaviour the next time they have sex? Several younger gay men I've spoken to in the past few months have argued that HIV is no big deal. They've heard about combination therapy, they've seen the ads with muscular men climbing mountains and they've jumped to the conclusion that life on anti-retrovirals is one long picnic. There are even the fatalistic few for whom contracting HIV is seen as some sort of rite of passage, or a stepping stone towards having lots of unprotected sex without having to think about the consequences.
Then of course there's the other kind of 'combination therapy', the cocktail of recreational drugs in common usage on the gay club scene. Ecstasy has given way to a combination of drugs including coke, crystal meth and GHB. Clubs in Vauxhall even have 'recovery rooms' where people are left to 'sleep off' the effects of GHB – assuming of course that they don't develop breathing difficulties or have a cardiac arrest. Several prominent gay DJs have told me that 'GHB is killing the scene in Vauxhall'. It's killing the customers too. Earlier this year, there were reports of three deaths related to GHB at a well-known after-hours club. A barman I know has had seven friends die from GHB in the past 12 months. And to echo that famous Aids warning from the '80s, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
'GHB is a nasty, poisonous drug which is killing gay men on a regular basis', explains Dr Cummings. 'We've had a number of deaths of our patients resulting from use of the drug, either together with other drugs or alone . Death often occurs during or immediately post-sex and so the victims are found in humiliating circumstances. The scenarios are usually awfully upsetting for all concerned, especially partners and family members. Coroners will frequently be coy to spare the feelings of loved ones [by recording accidental death], but this has the inadvertent effect of concealing the likely real numbers. There is nothing glamorous about finding a young man dead in a harness, having fallen, struck his head, inhaled his own vomit and suffocated.'
'I understand the connection between sex and drugs,' confesses Casson. 'I experimented in that area for years, and I ended up HIV positive. Do I regret it? Yes I do. The gay world told me that it was okay to live like that. It's not. You can't go out clubbing for three or four days at a time, necking every drug you can lay your hands on, and not expect something bad to happen to you. Gay men tend to meet each other in drink-fuelled, drug-fuelled environments, and it's killing us. People are dying and there needs to be a wake-up call.'
In the early '80s, before Aids really hit Britain, there was a hi-NRG song played each week at Heaven called 'So Many Men (So Little Time)'. What few of us knew then was how prophetic these words would be. Twenty-five years on, how many men must contract HIV or die from drug overdoses before we change our behaviour? How long before we call time on a lifestyle that's killing us?
'The Biggest Suicide Cult in History' is at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Friday.
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6 comments
This really upsets me because its soo true. Young men are dying because of esteem issues., They see the world as increasinly threatening and they only place they feel happy is on the scene with drugs in them. But it doesn;t have to be like that. They should realise how important they are, quit the drugs and date and meet the guy of their dreams. AVOID FIRE AND FITLADZ
I think the article is relevant in that it describes an ongoing situation in "gay club land". For some people, gay scene epitomizes liberation and self-expression. However, what happens with what lies beneath? Are these said clubs willing to change their ways in order to help in the rehab of these individuals? I really doubt it. it is profitable for them to advertise this self-destruction. For some of them, it is this lifestyle the one that promotes good business. Money matters to them more than lives.
If you really care about people you would not only offer them mind-blowing fun, wild sex in dark rooms and free liberty to prove as many drugs as they can. You could also offer them options. Entertainment can also give you food for thought. Club owners, magazines, gaydar, etc set new lifestyles in gay population so use that "skill" to everybody's advantage. How about having rooms for non drug users? Promoting free alcohol raves? Giving incentives to those who help promote safe sex? A new culture of appreciating that we gays are not only sex driven animals but intelligent individuals is also worthwhile.
I am glad that this debate has arisen and I think that in order for any healthy resolution to evolve, this discussion needs to be addressed on a regular basis.
I totally sympathize with the last comment in regards to the difficulty of coming to terms with being gay in a Hetero world. Straight people have many of their own hurdles and prejudices to overcome too. But yes, we all live in a white man's heterosexual world.
I was disowned 20 years ago by my parents who were addicted, not to drugs, but to their twisted version of religion. Fundamentalist religion is a nasty psychological habit. Nothing new there. I was told that I would burn in hell, and that people like me are shot in certain countries. Thanks mum. Love ya dad.
Naturally, comments like those and others, drove me, an 18 yr old boy at the time, to self-destruction. This went on for more than 20 years. But their comments also drove me to strive for my dreams, gave me fuel to defend my sexuality. I was destructive, but also strived for a productive career. I realise that not every gay man is able to survive these disciminations, like I did. And lots of gay men would've survived my ordeal better than I did. Ultimately though, like those guys in Vauxhall, I was a victim too.
I should've turned into an axe murderer, coz there were many times when I felt like I wanted to kill my parents. Their words were destroying me, filling me with pain, hate, anger, doubt. They stopped seeing me, but started calling me on the phone and continuing the psychological abuse for years. So of course partying was a great temporary relief. I'm lucky I didn’t end up in prison. But you can only post-pone and sweep these problems under the carpet for so long, because eventually, these problems will start to rot, and begin to grow and eat through the carpet like a nasty disease.
In regards to the gay clubbing scene in Vauxhall, which is not representative of the whole gay scene, yes, some of those guys are victims, like I used to be, and they all have their own separate reasons for their self denials and abuse. It's no good weeding out groups of individuals because they take GHB and then blaming them for 'destroying' themselves and the gay scene in Vauxhall as well. I repeat. They are victims. This attitude is only adding more blame, guilt, and anxiety to their existing personal issues.
Many people use drink and drugs to still the pain. And many others go to Vauxhall for a laff and are quite together. One of the reasons why the gay scene is so dysfunctional is that it offers no vision for a life after juvenile hedonism.
And what are their issues? Well I can only guess a few, for now. Low self esteem from: Homophobia - acceptance in the gay scene - feelings of not fitting in - growing older - appearance - lack of career focus – the list goes on…
Where does the real core, the seeds of this destruction lie? Who should we really challenging here? Of course some of these clubbers need a reality check, and lots of 'free' counseling (therapists are for the rich. Poor people just get on with it and suffer). This issue needs to be addressed in a compassionate way. The flyer for "the Biggest Suicide Cult in History" states that this performance is for: 'bug-chasers, drug wasters, key workers, toothless wonders, and wankers who read QX" - in other words, all the victims. We should be aiming at the perpetrators as well, the people that lay down the foundations to these destructive practices. The media, religion, society in general. I'm not a big fan of QX, as this magazine encourages the behavior in Vauxhall and reinforces corny outmoded stereotypes. Ok, now and then a token, political article appears on ONE of it's many pages, which is slipped in between the bulk of the magazine which otherwise promotes a steroid, gym, vacuous, botox lifestyle. Anyone who sits outside of this stereotype, is ignored and laughed at.
As for gaydar, this site should also be involved in our serious debate. It has reduced our ways of dealing with each other in the most inhumane ways. Of course, not everyone on gaydar communicates inhumanely. But this digital form of communication has been a great platform for abuse, sex/drug addiction, and discrimination within its own community. Most people on gaydar only want to know how big your cock is, or if you’re a top or bottom, before they even ask your name. And if you don't fit their criteria, your blocked or deleted. Ok. Nothing wrong with a fast quick no strings fuck now and then. But, some respect thrown into the mix wouldn't go astray.
Having said all that. Drugs and alcohol are not a bad thing. I used to be painfully shy and drugs helped me overcome my shyness and develop my social skills. But ofcourse, that’s not why I originally turned to drugs in the beginning. The real problem is, to address our deeper insecurities and learn to rise above them. Sounds easy? It’s not. And when, and if, we decide to use drugs/alcohol occasionally - to not let them 'use us' and rule our lives. Easier said than done, I know. But this discipline extends to all sexualities, not just gays. It’s one of the many battles of Life.
Our daily lives outside the clubs must also offer us some form pleasure. I’m talking about our working lives. But sadly, the Monday to Friday existence for a lot of us, is not always so rosy. Efforts should, and can, be made to overcome the grayness of the 9 to 5. It takes a lot of strength, self-examination, and also a lot of outside support. You can’t achieve all this on your own.
I absolutely adore Mr.Hoyle and his performances and I think he is an important force in the gay community. I am far from perfect, and I am aware that it is too easy for me to criticize other people's criticisms of the gay scene. I myself don't particularly agree with what the stereotypical gay scene represents either. I try to get on with muscle marys, bears, twinks etc. But ultimately, you are not going to get on with everyone in life, gay or straight. These separate areas of the gay scene offer alternative lifestyles for the array of 'gayness' that exists. We still need more alternatives, as these current alternatives eventually become established and elitist as well.
I still don't think that we gays are the biggest suicide cult in history. But the deeper problems of our self-destruction need to be addressed not only to the victims, but to their causes.
Though valid points are made by both previous contributors re: overgeneralising and possibly feeding the prejudice of the tutting homophobes amid snipes of 'I told you so..', I recognise what's been said about the nihilistic self-destructive tendency that 'otherness' encourages. I speak out of personal experience and do not purport that this is universal amongst homosexual men, but growing up, trying to come to terms with sexuality, existence in a predominantly hetero world, bullying, all took their toll - constant insecurity was tormenting and clubbing whilst wasted was really a way out, not just a passive distraction, but an exhilarating euphoric experience for those hours that it lasted. Drugtaking is very common amongst clubbers but I accept that clubbers are just one scene and don't represent the entirely of the homosexual population. The gist of the article to me seems to be the underlying causes of the hedonistic nihilism that are a reality, and it does occasion reflection. I certainly am glad that that isn't my lifestyle any longer, but to be frank, occasionally, I do yearn to just get completely trashed and to lose myself, I think I yearn to feel that I have no responsibility and no care whatsoever, but soon I sober up and get on with what myriads of us do in this crucible that is London -- plod along, but as I said, fortunately, it's only occasionally.
It's ironical that Mr.Hoyle's live peformances are based on his own self destructiveness. Paul Burston's attempts to throw light on this serious issue is simply fanning the self righteous flames of Religious homophobes, by generalising and explicitly portraying gays as self destructive monsters on a trip to hell. This twisted perception is exactly what these fundamentalists want to hear, in support of their own twisted hatefull views. As if self loathing, self destruction, and recreational drug/alcohol use is exclusive to gays. The media bombards us everyday with stories of Heterosexual self destruction. Stories about rock stars, sport stars and super model millionaires indulging one minute, and re-habing the next, are plastered all over the papers everyday. Kate Moss, Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse etc... And are we made to envy these so called 'role models'? You decide. Is the gay scene the biggest suicide cult in history? I doubt it. Nice title though.
Most of the gay press consists of freesheets paid for by the clubs and bars that make up the scene, so we don't expect any serious journalism from them. Good job then we can turn to TimeOut – or can we? Apparently not. Burston gives us mostly his opinion, and that of Hoyle, without bothering to do even basic research. Over the last ten years, the number of new HIV infections per year has doubled in gays, but quadrupled in straights. Whereas ten years ago there were more new HIV infections in gay men than in straight people, now there are twice as many new infections in straight people. People aren't "dying all over Vauxhall" like flies – at least not from HIV. The death rate has remained stable for years. So much for those myths.
As for drugs, yes, people's judgment will not be at their best under the influence. But the same goes for booze, hardly a more benign substance. If misused, alcohol also kills, makes dependent and encourages violence. But that, to Hoyle, who appears at the Vauxhall Tavern, and to Burston, who counts so many barmen among his acquaintances, seems to be quite all right.
What we are left, then, is a hysterical piece fanning moral panic not worthy of the name of journalism. TimeOut missed an opportunity to give a serious issue due consideration. Instead, your author offers opinions and bar-room talk, painting a picture of London's gays as debauched, barebacking whoremongers. One wonders where the self-hate lies in that?